Sociopath thoughts!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 45
Sociopath thoughts!
Dear memers,
Lately, I have been read in a lot about sociopath, because of my alcoholic boyfriend. I find it not every alcoholic is sociopath, but some somesocipath could be alcoholic. Deep down, I believe that alcoholics are genuinely goodc people, they have some deep rooted bad experience that's why drink and pain away. So, that's I love my boyfriend more even I knew him from the beginning he is a binge drinker, but now I'm so scared to believe that he is more sociopath than just binge drinker.
Sociopaths feel no remorse, no guilt and no shame after they inflict the pain to others.
Can you suggest a good readings more on sociopath boyfriends?
Sadly, I see the pattern of sociopath on my boyfriend and I'm scared to death. We are already separated no contact over a month, but I still miss him terribly and already forgiving him, but only if he contacts me.
I am so scared there will no body there left for me, ecxept him. But im hurt too abd blame mysekd a lot that i cannot stop loving him.
Thank you all.
Lately, I have been read in a lot about sociopath, because of my alcoholic boyfriend. I find it not every alcoholic is sociopath, but some somesocipath could be alcoholic. Deep down, I believe that alcoholics are genuinely goodc people, they have some deep rooted bad experience that's why drink and pain away. So, that's I love my boyfriend more even I knew him from the beginning he is a binge drinker, but now I'm so scared to believe that he is more sociopath than just binge drinker.
Sociopaths feel no remorse, no guilt and no shame after they inflict the pain to others.
Can you suggest a good readings more on sociopath boyfriends?
Sadly, I see the pattern of sociopath on my boyfriend and I'm scared to death. We are already separated no contact over a month, but I still miss him terribly and already forgiving him, but only if he contacts me.
I am so scared there will no body there left for me, ecxept him. But im hurt too abd blame mysekd a lot that i cannot stop loving him.
Thank you all.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,001
Hi Enk, and a belated welcome. I don't know much about sociopaths. I did listen to a This American Life episode about it and the test/designation seemed a bit fuzzy
My qualifier really was a fine person. Under the influence he did armed robberies. He has been sober some 20-25 years and is a decent person.
What are you doing for yourself? Alanon? Counseling?
Keep reading, thinking and working on yourself. This is a tough time to go through.
My qualifier really was a fine person. Under the influence he did armed robberies. He has been sober some 20-25 years and is a decent person.
What are you doing for yourself? Alanon? Counseling?
Keep reading, thinking and working on yourself. This is a tough time to go through.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
if you even suspect you are dealing with a sociopath, you get away from them.....far far away.
sociopaths have no internal barometer, they do not FEEL emotions....but they are excellent mimics.....they can read people.....they know what to say, how to act, even what facial expressions to don, and exactly what the other person wants to HEAR and SEE.
what you think you feel......is manufactured. it is not real. because you are "in love" with something that does not exist.
sociopaths have no internal barometer, they do not FEEL emotions....but they are excellent mimics.....they can read people.....they know what to say, how to act, even what facial expressions to don, and exactly what the other person wants to HEAR and SEE.
what you think you feel......is manufactured. it is not real. because you are "in love" with something that does not exist.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,634
^^^^
I'm not all that well read on sociopaths, narcissists, well I have done a lot of research there and there are a lot of similarities.
There is a scale, a difference between someone who is a sociopath or narcissist and someone who has strong tendencies of either.
There are millions of web pages about them, there are people like Sam Vaknin, a self-proclaimed narcissist that is also labelled, by others, as a sociopath.
He has everything from videos on youtube which are pretty short and easy to understand to long text and description that needs to be read several times. Not because anyone is too unintelligent to get it but to try to wrap your head around that kind of thinking.
If you believe you are truly dealing with a sociopath or a narcissist as Anvil said, you need to walk away. It is a hopeless cause, they do not see the world the way others do and recovery is almost unheard of, because they don't think they need help.
Good luck to you.
I'm not all that well read on sociopaths, narcissists, well I have done a lot of research there and there are a lot of similarities.
There is a scale, a difference between someone who is a sociopath or narcissist and someone who has strong tendencies of either.
There are millions of web pages about them, there are people like Sam Vaknin, a self-proclaimed narcissist that is also labelled, by others, as a sociopath.
He has everything from videos on youtube which are pretty short and easy to understand to long text and description that needs to be read several times. Not because anyone is too unintelligent to get it but to try to wrap your head around that kind of thinking.
If you believe you are truly dealing with a sociopath or a narcissist as Anvil said, you need to walk away. It is a hopeless cause, they do not see the world the way others do and recovery is almost unheard of, because they don't think they need help.
Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Can you suggest a good readings more on sociopath boyfriends?
i cant suggest anything in particualer,but googling,"how to leave a sociopathic boyfriend" would net some good reading.
however, with this
We are already separated no contact over a month, but I still miss him terribly and already forgiving him, but only if he contacts me.
I am so scared there will no body there left for me, ecxept him. But im hurt too abd blame mysekd a lot that i cannot stop loving him.
you have biggers things to look into over why your ex boyfriend is the way he is.
things like how to fix you.theres good reading in the stickies at the top of this forum. great support and advise on how to take care of YOU,too.
i cant suggest anything in particualer,but googling,"how to leave a sociopathic boyfriend" would net some good reading.
however, with this
We are already separated no contact over a month, but I still miss him terribly and already forgiving him, but only if he contacts me.
I am so scared there will no body there left for me, ecxept him. But im hurt too abd blame mysekd a lot that i cannot stop loving him.
you have biggers things to look into over why your ex boyfriend is the way he is.
things like how to fix you.theres good reading in the stickies at the top of this forum. great support and advise on how to take care of YOU,too.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
While you're researching, read up on Antisocial (Sociopath), Borderline, and Narcissistic Personality Disorders. They are grouped together in the DSM V as Cluster B Personality Disorders and there can be a great deal of overlap.
One common thread to all three is that they suck people into their orbit initially by being charming, engaging and full of praise. Once you're hooked, they turn on you and it's sometimes difficult to extract yourself from the relationship.
You can never change them, the only thing you can do is leave, if he is indeed some combination of the above. All are difficult to treat because they won't get help or even diagnosed.
One common thread to all three is that they suck people into their orbit initially by being charming, engaging and full of praise. Once you're hooked, they turn on you and it's sometimes difficult to extract yourself from the relationship.
You can never change them, the only thing you can do is leave, if he is indeed some combination of the above. All are difficult to treat because they won't get help or even diagnosed.
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
Hi. I highly suspect that my ex has a cluster-b personality disorder, but am not at all sure. It could just be that his addiction made him very selfish. If you think your ex has sociopathy, you need to stay away from him because he will never change. I recommend "Psychopath Free" by Jackson Mackenzie, and also "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry Controlling Men". by Lundy Bancroft.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 22
Hm I’m no expert on sociopaths but I think that it’s important to remember that all those behaviours you mentioned, though found in sociopaths, are often found in alcoholics yet due to a completely seperate set of reasons and circumstances. I’m not saying it’s not possible but I think so many signs and symptoms are transferable.
An alcoholics main aim is to drink and no matter how much they love you their love for the drink is stronger. The pain they inflict is a necessary means to get what they are after. They can’t show remorse because if they did then they would be admitting they have a problem and would have to face quitting what they love most.
It seems to me that a sociopath however is enticed by their own satisfaction and glory, not alcohol.
If you’re interested in researching the topic further however I would suggest ‘Confessions of a Sociopath’.
An alcoholics main aim is to drink and no matter how much they love you their love for the drink is stronger. The pain they inflict is a necessary means to get what they are after. They can’t show remorse because if they did then they would be admitting they have a problem and would have to face quitting what they love most.
It seems to me that a sociopath however is enticed by their own satisfaction and glory, not alcohol.
If you’re interested in researching the topic further however I would suggest ‘Confessions of a Sociopath’.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Hi Enk, I don't know any of your back story, or any reason why you would be thinking this. So, I am just going to give you IMO response. Note, this is only my opinion.
Alcoholic, and alcoholic with a personality disorder are two totally different things. Yes, you can have comingled problems. First, you would need to be sober before they can even look for a personality disorder, since alcoholism and a personality disorder can share symptoms.
I'm not an armchair psychologist, so I'm not going to offer any diagnosis.
I'm going to say that if you are looking into this and researching this, that you have many reasons for feeling the way that you do. Your feelings are the one that matters.
I did a lot of research on personality disorders because I felt my ex had a borderline personality disorder. It was never diagnosed because you can't make someone see a psychiatrist or psychologist. They lie anyway.
So, I think what I am getting at here is if you have this intuition about this, he must have made you afraid several times. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I want you to think about something. Why would you want to stay with someone who makes you feel afraid?
I read "Stop Walking on Eggshells", I highly recommend that and also "Why Does He Do That"? I also read many books on Domestic Violence and Abuse.
One think that you need to think about is, if he is like this now, how will he be in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, if you get married, if you have a baby with him? Do you really think that you can handle that?
Meds do nothing for a personality disorder.
(((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
amy
Alcoholic, and alcoholic with a personality disorder are two totally different things. Yes, you can have comingled problems. First, you would need to be sober before they can even look for a personality disorder, since alcoholism and a personality disorder can share symptoms.
I'm not an armchair psychologist, so I'm not going to offer any diagnosis.
I'm going to say that if you are looking into this and researching this, that you have many reasons for feeling the way that you do. Your feelings are the one that matters.
I did a lot of research on personality disorders because I felt my ex had a borderline personality disorder. It was never diagnosed because you can't make someone see a psychiatrist or psychologist. They lie anyway.
So, I think what I am getting at here is if you have this intuition about this, he must have made you afraid several times. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I want you to think about something. Why would you want to stay with someone who makes you feel afraid?
I read "Stop Walking on Eggshells", I highly recommend that and also "Why Does He Do That"? I also read many books on Domestic Violence and Abuse.
One think that you need to think about is, if he is like this now, how will he be in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, if you get married, if you have a baby with him? Do you really think that you can handle that?
Meds do nothing for a personality disorder.
(((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
amy
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