Sudden and Unexpected Relapse
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 4
Sudden and Unexpected Relapse
Hi all,
I am new to this website and stumbled across it while doing some research on articles on how to deal with my husband’s most recent relapse. He is a heroin and benzo addict. He has been to rehab 7 times over the course of 7 years. We have been together 5, married for 1.
He is still off of heroin, but had a relapse today on a synthetic benzo via IV after 5 months of complete sobriety. To say it’s hit me hard is an understatement. He was arrested twice and hospitalized twice 5 months ago, leading to his last rehab stint and is currently in IOP 3 days a week. He was doing so damn well. Working the program, making sober friends, and we were creating this beautiful open dialogue of communication that we haven’t had in a long time. I’m sure you’ve all felt this way, but just this morning I was thinking how happy I was to trust him again and how proud of him i was. I picked him up from IOP, he immediately went to our bathroom and I became suspicious after him being in there for 30 minutes. I knocked and knocked and got the door open, to find him slumped over on the floor, needle on the ground. My heart sank and I felt like I was going to throw up. I’ve found him like this too many times to count and I really wasn’t expecting this at all. No triggers that I knew of, no warning sign... I even just asked him a few days before if he had been having cravings and let him know he could always turn to me and I would never judge him for it. I grabbed my son and we left for the day. I came home tonight to him passed out on the floor. I put him to bed and told our 3 year old that dad wasn’t feeling well and he’s been asleep ever since.
I’m sorry for writing a novel... And I don’t exactly know what I’m asking for... but if anyone has any insight as to how to deal with the hundredth relapse and how to remain calm, supportive, and not get overly emotional and angry when we speak tomorrow, I would appreciate advice on that. I love him and he is a wonderful person... just not like this. What is my next step? What’s a healthy boundary? My heart is broken again and i don’t know how the hell to cope right now. Thanks everyone.
I am new to this website and stumbled across it while doing some research on articles on how to deal with my husband’s most recent relapse. He is a heroin and benzo addict. He has been to rehab 7 times over the course of 7 years. We have been together 5, married for 1.
He is still off of heroin, but had a relapse today on a synthetic benzo via IV after 5 months of complete sobriety. To say it’s hit me hard is an understatement. He was arrested twice and hospitalized twice 5 months ago, leading to his last rehab stint and is currently in IOP 3 days a week. He was doing so damn well. Working the program, making sober friends, and we were creating this beautiful open dialogue of communication that we haven’t had in a long time. I’m sure you’ve all felt this way, but just this morning I was thinking how happy I was to trust him again and how proud of him i was. I picked him up from IOP, he immediately went to our bathroom and I became suspicious after him being in there for 30 minutes. I knocked and knocked and got the door open, to find him slumped over on the floor, needle on the ground. My heart sank and I felt like I was going to throw up. I’ve found him like this too many times to count and I really wasn’t expecting this at all. No triggers that I knew of, no warning sign... I even just asked him a few days before if he had been having cravings and let him know he could always turn to me and I would never judge him for it. I grabbed my son and we left for the day. I came home tonight to him passed out on the floor. I put him to bed and told our 3 year old that dad wasn’t feeling well and he’s been asleep ever since.
I’m sorry for writing a novel... And I don’t exactly know what I’m asking for... but if anyone has any insight as to how to deal with the hundredth relapse and how to remain calm, supportive, and not get overly emotional and angry when we speak tomorrow, I would appreciate advice on that. I love him and he is a wonderful person... just not like this. What is my next step? What’s a healthy boundary? My heart is broken again and i don’t know how the hell to cope right now. Thanks everyone.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi and welcome Madisonv 
I'm sorry for what brings you here but this is a place of great support and, as a newcomer, you are every welcome in this Newcomers forum
I have no experience to share but I know others will.
I guess my first thing would be talk to him and ask what the hell...
You are not alone here - you need support too - and you'll find it here
D
I'm sorry for what brings you here but this is a place of great support and, as a newcomer, you are every welcome in this Newcomers forum
I have no experience to share but I know others will.
I guess my first thing would be talk to him and ask what the hell...
You are not alone here - you need support too - and you'll find it here
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
I'm sorry for your situation, but it's good you are reaching out for support.
A healthy boundary to me might be 'I will keep our 3 yr old son safe, by leaving the house when you are using needles and IV drugs'. The thing with boundaries is that you have to be willing to stick with them.
I hope that you find some peace.
A healthy boundary to me might be 'I will keep our 3 yr old son safe, by leaving the house when you are using needles and IV drugs'. The thing with boundaries is that you have to be willing to stick with them.
I hope that you find some peace.
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