Babescake

I'm sober and know my sobriety date, but I'm finding it to be a trigger. Does anybody not count days here, including not knowing their sobriety date?

I'm doing AA so I'm not sure that is possible, but I think for my well-being, I can't count. I get too hung up on stuff, the OCD in me and fixated on it. I want it to eventually go into oblivion where days/months/years run together.

Is this a bad approach?

AnvilheadII

how is your SOBRIETY date a trigger??

there are no rules on how one tracks their sober time.

tealily

I think more experienced, wiser people may have a better answer for you, but I don't really count days. I mean, I know roughly when I stopped drinking (late May) and do have an app on my phone if I want to look up exact days, but I'm not fixated on milestones. It's a long journey and a process.. I'm living my life. I also don't know exactly how many days I've been in my new exercise routine, but I'm still doing it and am so happy to see my progress!

I'm sure it's an individual thing. Some people may be helped by counting, others may find it too focused.

I'd venture to say whatever works for you, if it's helping you not drink, is fine!

I actually don't even like using the word "sober", and I know that is not typical. As long as I don't drink, I guess that's ok too.

DangerZone

I used to. Hell I used to obsess over it but like you I found it to be counterproductive. Last time I had significant amount of days clean I used it as an excuse to drink so it does not work for me although I do know my sobriety day.

However, I have a great friend of mine on here who counts days and it works great for her. Plenty of other people on here who I consider friends and have helped me in so many ways do as well. It works for them and that is all that matters. So my advice is to just do what works for you.

Key is to remember no matter how much time clean you have whether it is one-day or five-years the most important day is today. Stay clean today and focus on that.

Babescake

Numbers and anniversaries can make me uncomfortable, much less make me obsess. I dwell on it and once that takes heed....

Babescake

Great perspective! I think that will be beneficial for me.

entropy1964

You'll get a whole bunch of different perspectives on this. I think the more pressing aspect of this is the obsessive thinking that can trigger you. That kind of thinking can trip you up in a whole bunch of different ways.

I have found that acceptance of pretty much everything is the foundation from which I can build healthy thinking and responding. That first part of acceptance is of course that I cannot drink, no matter what. I find that days, months etc have less control over me if I have completely taken booze off the table.

I don't count days. I do acknowledge and celebrate milestones.

Ihadmyfill

No counting here....the only day I count is today ...sober!

Zebra1275

I don’t count days, the only day that counts is today.

I counted days once, and then relapsed at 5 1/2 years. After having a couple of thousand sober days, starting over at one, seemed pretty depressing. And I was busy trying to get sober again. I didn’t need to depress myself further by counting each individual day, when I once had so many.

Now I’m coming up on 8 years sober. I don’t know how many sober days I have right now, and frankly, I don’t really care.

Like I said, the only day that counts for me is today. In about 1/2 hour I’m going to go to bed sober, so today is a successful day. Tomorrow, I will start a new day, and do it again.

DontRemember

Nope.. I know 'about when' but I don't do days. For me it's a reminder that I don't want/need. I'm positive it helps some,but it's not for me.

Dee74

I counted days til 90 - have no idea what day it is now.
Some people do, some don't.

As long as you have a good recovery action plan, that's the main thing.

D

SimplyFree

I counted til 100, now I seem to track months, likely til my year, then we’ll see how it goes. It seems the stronger my new lifestyle, habits, new activities become, the less counting happens.

Forward12

I personally don't, but many do find it useful. Which ever way works for you, keep going with it.

Gottalife

I didn't count at the start because I really thought AA would not work for me. I just took each day and tried to practice something of the program. I didn't even note the day I stopped. I am still terrible with dates.

My sponsor told me when I made three months, and no one was more surprised than me.

Part of the deal I made with God was that if He took away the crap that was my life, I would bear witness to His Power, Love and way of life. He did and I do. Through His grace this hopeless alcoholic has been sober 38 years. That's just a fact. My entire line of sponsorship also made permanent recoveries and all died sober, another fact.

I looked around AA to see who was getting anywhere and time was an element in that. Will that way of doing things bring lasting recovery?

The AMA has a definition too which they call stable recovery. That is where a person has been sober five years, but also has resumed a normal life, and their place in the community - the whole package. Time does mean something, but IME counting days every day in early recovery is not that useful.

Dustitoffman

I don't count days, I count nights🙄

Once a king always a king. Once a night is enough!

Hahaha
No really whatever works.
For me I want to know what I'm feeling and where I am at and so at this point I am counting.

When I got to 90 days last time I realised it was actually 100 so I guess it's a thing that seems more important at the begining of the road but fades as it becomes less relevant.😎Dusty

Dustitoffman

Think I've lost my shining armour using that joke!

Dustitoffman

Think I've lost.my shining armour using that joke!

thomas11

I do not count days. I know the month and year of my sobriety. I approached sobriety as a wholesale lifestyle change. In other words, there were many aspects of my life I changed. Not drinking was one of them. With that said, for the first 4-6 months the not drinking part of my change was at the top of my priority list. I made it the most important thing in my life, because that is what it required. Half measures surely would have failed. That was just over two years ago and my life is immeasurably better now than it was. Good luck to you.

tekink

I count the months and every once in a while I'll look up how many days ago that was but I don't count them.

MindfulMan

I'm exactly where Tealily is. I don't count, but I have an app on my phone that tracks it. This is mostly due to days sober being part of the daily reporting in my Intensive Outpatient Program. I will occasionally look at it, and at this point mentally note what month it is when I hit the 9th, and will note when it's a year.

I don't like day tracking for myself. What's important to me is the drastic improvement in my life and physical and mental well-being without the use of substances. Not how long I've been doing so. Carry that forward every day.

I also don't buy into the disease model or giving my life over to a higher power. I find those actions very disempowering as well as the focus on sober time. I have taken drinking and using completely off the table, and am taking steps to maintain sobriety that don't involve moving the locus of control in my life away from myself. The huge possibility of one drink leading back to years of addiction is simply a fact of life. What's important is that I don't take that one drink, or line, or whatever going forward, and that this fact remains true EVERY day.

This has worked for me. Others of course have a different take. If counting days works for you, then freaking do it. WHATEVER IT TAKES. If it's triggering, consider not doing it.

I also don't the term "sober." It sounds very dull and dismal, while removing substances from your life is anything but dull and dismal.

Anyone have an idea for rebranding?