At a kids birthday party. Did not expect there to be expanses of booze
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 172
At a kids birthday party. Did not expect there to be expanses of booze
I walk in with my daughter, there is a counter of a variety of drink options-red wine, white wine, beer, and vodka... and then there is bottled water. Yum right? Everyone has a drink and it’s an environment that no joke, is an encouraged drink as much as you want environment.
I did look longly at the wine, I’m not going to lie, my AV was really getting to me. It’s the first time in my infantile 40 days that I had the thought about how there is no way I can give this up for good. Situations like this, other parties, the bachelorette parties that are this year, friend nights, happy hours, holidays, vacations.
I know all the facts about how likely relapse is, i know I need a plan, I know I should avoid being around alcohol (although I didn’t realize how much I still want it), I know the moments of longing will pass and so far I know that as the night is going on its getting easier as I watch everyone else get drunk (which I’m still not sure why that’s making it easier for me). I also know i will drive my husband and the kids home so that my husband can a few.
I guess it just scared me how convincing it was and it was only my first taste. How much doubt has filled my head. And I know I’m supposed to take it one day at a time even moment by moment tonight. I’m scared though. I feel like what if for a split second I lost my own control over my AV? I’m assuming it gets more convincing before it realizes you have committed? Does it really get easier in these situations? I can’t imagine how situations like these get easier, and the holidays?! Oh Lordy help me.
I did look longly at the wine, I’m not going to lie, my AV was really getting to me. It’s the first time in my infantile 40 days that I had the thought about how there is no way I can give this up for good. Situations like this, other parties, the bachelorette parties that are this year, friend nights, happy hours, holidays, vacations.
I know all the facts about how likely relapse is, i know I need a plan, I know I should avoid being around alcohol (although I didn’t realize how much I still want it), I know the moments of longing will pass and so far I know that as the night is going on its getting easier as I watch everyone else get drunk (which I’m still not sure why that’s making it easier for me). I also know i will drive my husband and the kids home so that my husband can a few.
I guess it just scared me how convincing it was and it was only my first taste. How much doubt has filled my head. And I know I’m supposed to take it one day at a time even moment by moment tonight. I’m scared though. I feel like what if for a split second I lost my own control over my AV? I’m assuming it gets more convincing before it realizes you have committed? Does it really get easier in these situations? I can’t imagine how situations like these get easier, and the holidays?! Oh Lordy help me.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Hi Ready,
It definitely gets easier, and it helps if you know to be prepared for alcohol at a party or event. It allows you to have a plan.
I was guilty of serving drinks at kid parties in the past, and just about every one I have attended serves alcohol. The more comfortable you become in your sobriety you will realize that many others don't drink at these parties, and if they do, they usually drink very little. There are always a few who drink like I used to, and they are the ones usually trying to filleveryone else's cup.
Great job getting through today.
It definitely gets easier, and it helps if you know to be prepared for alcohol at a party or event. It allows you to have a plan.
I was guilty of serving drinks at kid parties in the past, and just about every one I have attended serves alcohol. The more comfortable you become in your sobriety you will realize that many others don't drink at these parties, and if they do, they usually drink very little. There are always a few who drink like I used to, and they are the ones usually trying to filleveryone else's cup.
Great job getting through today.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Try and not get too spooked ready. You hold all the cards in the struggle with the AV.
If you don't pour that drink down your throat the AV loses and there;s nothing it can do about it except bawl like a baby..
it's as basic as that.
And even if God forbid you did decide it might be a good idea to drink you can always change your mind at any time.
Having thoughts about drinking doesn't necessarily mean your recovery is lacking - its how we respond to those thoughts that counts - and you didn't drink,
Yes I think you need a plan if you don't have one - it's not nice to be ambushed like that and a plan will give you some more options in those situations - but you made it
Congrats!
D
If you don't pour that drink down your throat the AV loses and there;s nothing it can do about it except bawl like a baby..
it's as basic as that.
And even if God forbid you did decide it might be a good idea to drink you can always change your mind at any time.
Having thoughts about drinking doesn't necessarily mean your recovery is lacking - its how we respond to those thoughts that counts - and you didn't drink,
Yes I think you need a plan if you don't have one - it's not nice to be ambushed like that and a plan will give you some more options in those situations - but you made it
Congrats!
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 192
So, YOU made it! 40 Days, imagine if you had to go back to Day 1...ugh. I'm proud of you. Plan or not, you showed that little bugger that you are stronger than him and next time it does get easier cuz you passed TEST #1.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Awesome post. Awesome share.
Seems like you have a pretty strong grip on sobriety. You did what many, many, many others wish they could do.
Congrats your your sobriety!
Just maintain aware that doubt is part of being sober in the early stages. Just notice the doubt as there when it happens exactly like you just did. It's real and it'll visit a couple times.
No biggie. Accept it as being part of the short term process. "This too will pass" is something I said at your stage A LOT. Have faith. You're NAILING it so far
Seems like you have a pretty strong grip on sobriety. You did what many, many, many others wish they could do.
Congrats your your sobriety!
Just maintain aware that doubt is part of being sober in the early stages. Just notice the doubt as there when it happens exactly like you just did. It's real and it'll visit a couple times.
No biggie. Accept it as being part of the short term process. "This too will pass" is something I said at your stage A LOT. Have faith. You're NAILING it so far
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
Make a plan before you go to an event.
Always give yourself an escape plan.
Your health, wellbeing and family depend on it.
Do not put yourself in danger.
Give yourself time to rest and do relaxing exercises after you have had a lot to take in. Your brain is repairing and your first year will be full of firsts ( first birthday, first Xmas etc)
It does get better and it already is better.
Keep the faith readygo you can go on to be happier than you have ever been.
Always give yourself an escape plan.
Your health, wellbeing and family depend on it.
Do not put yourself in danger.
Give yourself time to rest and do relaxing exercises after you have had a lot to take in. Your brain is repairing and your first year will be full of firsts ( first birthday, first Xmas etc)
It does get better and it already is better.
Keep the faith readygo you can go on to be happier than you have ever been.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
That's great Readygo....your AV ambushed you and you beat it! Now you know you can beat it even if you are ambushed when you least expect it. Beating an addiction is not supposed to be easy, we will be tested again and again but each test will get a little easier with time. I can understand its a little scary how convincing the AV was....but look at it this way, thats how strong your addiction is.....and all the more reason to shake it off.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Lakeside, Arizona
Posts: 1,138
Congratulations on 40 days! Personally I found that I needed to avoid alcohol related events at all costs. In the event I found myself at one I'd always be sure to have a clear way out and leave as soon as I was uncomfortable. The stress of putting up with those feelings weighs me down. I still avoid drinking situations but these days it's more of a choice. Being around intoxicated people isn't that fun for me, it's loud and the same story isn't really that funny over and over again.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 251
In my opinion, dont think too much about these future events. Just take them one at a time. This year already I have had my bridal shower and my bachelorette party. Just this past weekend actually lol. Both of these things I had crazy AV thoughts about, but once I got there and just got into the swing of things, it dies down. I realize I dont NEED alcohol to have a good time. Hell, I had an even better time at both those events because I was sober. memories for life. My wedding is at an all inclusive in 2 weeks in Mexico, and not a chance im drinking. Every single event I overcome, is making me stronger and also changing my beliefs that alcohol = fun. You got this!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 131
I ould be seriously surprised if there was not booze on offer at a kids party, for the adults that is! But the adults may have one or two drinks or none at all. It would depend don whether they were driving, whether they liked a drink or not. For us it is a start to a drunk afternoon or night, for most it is what it is! Its a line crossed and we need to be very much self aware. Well done for not having one!
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Great job, and great post, Ready.
I think you have a super grip on the game the AV plays. You've got its number. And if it were easy, this would be easy. You left that party stronger. Way to go!
At the beginning, just the presence of alcohol seems like an assault. It takes on this oversize, overbearing existence, as if those wine bottles were practically screaming at you. It is incredibly annoying and perverse. But it truly does get easier. I still hate that it takes as many of my brain cells as it does by thinking about it at all. But it stands to reason it will, in the beginning.
When I went to a Super Bowl party recently, I took my own fun favorite seltzer to drink, so I didn't have to hope there was something more than flat water for me.
Think back to times if we saw alcohol at parties when we were the kids. We didn't eyeball it, or crave it, or resent it. It was inert. Just a thing. My guess is that it will become that way again.
I think you have a super grip on the game the AV plays. You've got its number. And if it were easy, this would be easy. You left that party stronger. Way to go!
At the beginning, just the presence of alcohol seems like an assault. It takes on this oversize, overbearing existence, as if those wine bottles were practically screaming at you. It is incredibly annoying and perverse. But it truly does get easier. I still hate that it takes as many of my brain cells as it does by thinking about it at all. But it stands to reason it will, in the beginning.
When I went to a Super Bowl party recently, I took my own fun favorite seltzer to drink, so I didn't have to hope there was something more than flat water for me.
Think back to times if we saw alcohol at parties when we were the kids. We didn't eyeball it, or crave it, or resent it. It was inert. Just a thing. My guess is that it will become that way again.
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