Rabidrabbit

I have about 5 years of sobriety on and off, and had a bad relapse last Friday. This bender turned into me being a no-show, and not answering any calls.

I finally checked into detox yesterday, and the nurse let my boss know that I was in a hospital getting the care I need. I should be out Monday at the latest.

I’m in the US, and I know there are various laws about what employers can and can’t ask- but should I be truthful and tell them the full story? Or will that result in me being labeled / treated different? Is there any valid excuse I can use?

wildflower70

I have missed 2-3 weeks of work this past 6 months while I was trying to get sober, again. I personally wouldn't tell my boss that I went to rehab. I would simply say that I am dealing with some serious health issues (and you are). I see no reason to share, especially if you feel like you will be back on track for work next week.

Just my opinion. Blessings on your journey

Rabidrabbit

Thank you! I appreciate it!

Behappy1

I wouldn’t say a word. Get out and get back on track quickly.

dybehfar

Hi Rabidrabbit,

I have gone through the exact thing. Wow. I really had to go back in my memory and recall some of the details I forgot in order to reply to you. Not pretty.

I ended up in a psych ward after a bad bender. I did not disclose anything in particular to my employer and I went out on FMLA for 30 days to attend detox / rehab. I dealt with the insurance carrier for disability for the 30 days.

I am sure that people could deduce what was going on but I never said anything to my employer other than it was medically necessary. When I returned I simply said that I had been dealing with severe anxiety and left it at that. I did in fact have a dual diagnosis of alcoholism and anxiety disorder.

Maybe it is the anxiety / paranoia, but I do feel that people looked at me differently, but I do not think I was treated differently.

This all happened almost 5 years ago and I am still at the same employer and have been successful. I have had relapses over that time but have managed to get back up, dust myself and move forward.

I hope that helps.

Zebra1275

I would not.

Rabidrabbit

Hi Dybehfar,

Thanks for sharing your story, I’m glad it all worked out well for you! I do have anxiety and depression, and thought I could say that if I had to, but i definitely don’t want people to judge me differently, or be stigmatized in my ability to do my job.

Stayingsassy

I went to outpatient rehab couple years ago. I just said to the boss, I can only work one day a week for the next two months. She said ok. That was the end of that....

I'm not full time though. Just claim "health problems." Its not exactly a lie.

least

I would not disclose it, no. It's none of their business. As long as you can come back and do your job it's not necessary to tell them where you were.

dybehfar

Rabidrabbit,

Totally agree. That was my main concern. I only told my boss about anxiety and that is why I was out.

I have never told anyone at work what happened. Their thoughts are their business. Easy to say but hard to do, I know. I have done my job extremely well and in the end that is all people really care about at work.

So I guess my point is you can't change what people think of you. Just do your job well and no one will care or remember much about it in the near future.

I understand exactly what you are going through and it will get better.

I hope you feel better and get back on path after detox.

Forward12

Medical records are to be kept private. Don't disclose anything to your employer about the reason, all it does is gives them reason to fire you.

dwtbd

They can’t fire you for going to a detox . But they can orchestrate a situation where you commit insubordination ie not completing ‘new responsibilities’ or adhering to ‘new schedule stipulations ‘ because they can’t fire you for going to detox.
If you don’t tell them , they ‘cant’ know , if they find out something they can’t know and it didn’t come from you, you may have grounds to file suit .
HIPPA is designed to afford medical record privacy protection, but that protection is nullified if you volunteer the information and there is no reason for you to do that.
Don’t drink again ,ever , keep ‘your nose to the grindstone’ and in a year no one will think about it.

Delilah1

I would not disclose to your employer, I would definitely consider going out in Disability for a week or two to get yourself back in order. I hope the hospital helped direct you to a plan for recovery.

Zanna

I think you need to ask yourself - would it help you or them to know, or are you just wanting to tell them, out of self-punishment for your relapse?
No rush to tell anyone, anything - get yourself healed and then decide, but I personally wouldn't say anything.
All the very best with rehab and beyond

dcg

I really wouldn't say that.

I see no upside to sharing anything. They are not your friends; their bottom line is the business' bottom line.

b0glerd69

I wouldn't disclose it unless they ask you directly. Normally, questions relating to health for a job application are more about whether the Co. requires to prepare a working space, lifts, ramps, etc. for handicapped people and not about addictions you may or may not have had in the past. I am no HR expert, though.

mandypandy

I wouldn't tell them either. It's your business, there is a lot of judgement still in society of people with addictions. And if ever you were ill, or needed time off or were under par, it would always be at the back of their minds about your drinking
Good luck to you.

Flinders39

Employers are not your friends. I would tell them only what’s necessary for you to keep your job.

02022018

I would tell them nothing. It is none of their business. Heck for all they know it could have been a heart attack, blood clot, etc....really anything. If you can go back to work and be productive they don't care.

stargazer016

I would not tell them anything for most the reasons already mentioned.

My company allows an employee to apply on line for Family Leave and that request is handled by corporate HR, not immediate supervisors. The supervisors will simply get an email from HR saying employee X has been approved for leave for 30 days. End of story.