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Angry at 41 days

Old 02-10-2018, 07:29 AM
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Angry at 41 days

I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting today as I have no particularly profound insights to offer, or any specific guidance to solicit....Just making a note that despite seeing physical benefits after 41 days (healthier-looking skin, better sleep and a few pounds dropped) which should be keeping me in a healthy mood, I have been really susceptible to overwhelming anger recently. I have been under the gun at the office with a series of bottlenecking deadlines (I am sitting in the office once again on a Saturday morning staring at an overflowing desk) and the weather here has been disgusting for weeks, so I am not sure if this is just a tide of frustration I'd be feeling no matter what, or if it's amplified by the knowledge that there's no way to stick my head in the sand for a few hours anymore. I spent the first month actually feeling pretty cheery so I suppose it's just been a disappointment to learn that you can't ride that upbeat emotional wave for a bit longer.
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Old 02-10-2018, 08:26 AM
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More power to you, Irishlaw, I remember hitting that wall, too. Others will have more helpful things to say, no doubt, but it's times like these that cheesy motivational slogans are sometimes all that keep me from falling into the abyss. So remember, all your goals are on the other side of the struggle!
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Old 02-10-2018, 09:16 AM
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Yikes! Deadlines, bottlenecks, overwhelming amounts of work and not knowing how you're going to get it all done and remain sane. I can relate. You are expressing yourself very well and I like you're writing.....this is a wonderful outlet. Use it. Hang in there and be proud of your 41 days, friend.

Also, hang your hat on the positives you are already seeing with not drinking. Give yourself a little extra time for self care every day, even though you're busy.
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Old 02-10-2018, 03:42 PM
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Welcome back Irishlaw

I think a lot of us deal with anger and frustration early in recovery..,and find ourselves at a bit of a loss because drinking was the way we dealt with those feelings

There are other ways to deal with stress
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...44-stress.html (Stress)

I know that downtime seems impossible when you're busy but I think it's vital. Try to get some time for you every day.

D
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Old 02-10-2018, 03:49 PM
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I had anger like that also, there's even been a couple recent posts on here from folks who are around the same point as you experiencing it.

I'd fly into a rage at times, it can be unsettling. It's part of the healing process, we all do some damage to our brains by drinking all the time. One thing that helped me after it had happened a few times was to be able to recognize it when the rage was coming on so I could tell myself it's just part of the withdrawal process and don't get bent out of shape.
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Old 02-10-2018, 04:19 PM
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No worries, Irishlaw. You don't have to post insight or nuggets of wisdom when participating. Venting is therapeutic. And I have to echo the sentiments of others. It's all part of the healing process and dealing with your emotions instead of escaping them with alcohol. It should be expected and will pass as you learn to actually face and resolve the frustrations you feel. When you overcome what you have to deal with, sober, you will most likely feel a sense of accomplishment that you don't need alcohol to get through your days. March on...
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Old 02-11-2018, 03:33 AM
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I'm day 3 and my anger is terrible. I actually made a post about it the other day. I've smashed an iPhone. I've nearly ended up in a fight. Today the SD card was messing about so I snapped it in rage. Lost about 8 years worth of photos ... oops.

I'm constantly agitated. It's horrible. The smallest thing can throw me over the edge. Deep breathing doesn't work. I just have to ride the storm and wait for it to pass. Told my wife to leave me alone today to avoid any unnecessary arguments. She wasn't happy but there's not much I can do.

I've no advice except to say I know how you feel and I'm currently searching the forum for anger related threads.
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Old 02-11-2018, 04:57 AM
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I almost literally thought I was going to punch my 90-year-old mother in the face the other day. Just putting that out there
Just a thought though: is this normal for the work you do or are you doing other people's work or not asking for help or any of those other things of us martyr/alcoholics do so well?
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Old 02-11-2018, 07:07 AM
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Originally Posted by 4thegirls View Post
I almost literally thought I was going to punch my 90-year-old mother in the face the other day. Just putting that out there
Just a thought though: is this normal for the work you do or are you doing other people's work or not asking for help or any of those other things of us martyr/alcoholics do so well?
LOL! It's crazy what wideness goes through our minds at times. I am glad mind reading is impossible lol.
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Old 02-11-2018, 09:07 AM
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Originally Posted by 16YearsDrunk View Post
LOL! It's crazy what wideness goes through our minds at times. I am glad mind reading is impossible lol.
Truth!! Lol
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Old 02-11-2018, 09:21 AM
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Originally Posted by 16YearsDrunk View Post
LOL! It's crazy what wideness goes through our minds at times. I am glad mind reading is impossible lol.
Truth!! Lol
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Old 02-11-2018, 09:54 AM
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I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting today as I have no particularly profound insights to offer, or any specific guidance to solicit
Many times when I share, the person that stands to get the most of my share, is me if I take the time to really listen to what I shared. My soul is talking to me. Am I listening?

I have also found that I am not good at multi-tasking. When I start to find myself slipping into anger, I pull myself up short and shift my focus to gratitude. For some reason, I don't seem to be capable of being grateful and angry at the same time. I much prefer the way my mind and body reacts to gratitude, as opposed to anger.

When I used to stick my head in the sand, it seemed good at the time; but whenever I would pull my head out, the view hadn't changed at all. Changing the view requires movement on my part and sticking my head in the sand severly limited my movement.
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Old 02-11-2018, 10:10 AM
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I hear you Irishlaw. 41 days here (not my first attempt) and I am also feeling frustrated and irritable. Ironically I just bought a book for my 7 yr old, which is meant to help children with recognising their feelings. Safe to say, we are reading and learning together :-)
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Old 02-12-2018, 01:28 PM
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Thanks for all the encouragement--this afternoon I managed to put a wrap on one of the projects that's been dragging me under, so I am in a healthier frame of mind. (4thegirls: I wish I could say I was handling other peoples' work--that would be an excuse for feeling overwhelmed--but unfortunately deadline overloads are just the nature of the beast for everyone in this profession...I used to have a pretty comfy private legal practice, but I left to work in government practice...as pretty much the legal equivalent of a trauma surgeon.)

It's good to know that I'm not the only one having anger issues at this stage; not because misery loves company (i.e., I'm not glad that anyone else is angry), but because at least it doesn't mean that my new life is running off the rails. (It's just hitting what looks like a normal rough patch.)

In any event, two more days down...just sucking up and driving on, as we used to say in the Army...
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Old 02-12-2018, 02:55 PM
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So glad I came on today
Thought it was just me having an emotional rollercoaster
Seems its part of the solution
At 42 days
Learnt a lot from this thread
Thank you all
Dave
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Old 02-13-2018, 01:03 PM
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I'm very glad that Irish and the other newcomers are here with us.

I had a lot of anger for a very long time.

One thing that has helped me a lot is learning to forgive, both myself and others.

The St. Francis Prayer on p. 99 of the 12 and 12 has assisted me immeasurably in those efforts.

Fits of temperament are not good for recovering drunks like me.

But they were a common occurrence in early sobriety.

I'm glad all of you are here and sharing these travails with us.

As an aside, I'm largely Irish, too.
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Old 02-13-2018, 01:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Irishlaw07 View Post
I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting today as I have no particularly profound insights to offer, or any specific guidance to solicit....Just making a note that despite seeing physical benefits after 41 days (healthier-looking skin, better sleep and a few pounds dropped) which should be keeping me in a healthy mood, I have been really susceptible to overwhelming anger recently. I have been under the gun at the office with a series of bottlenecking deadlines (I am sitting in the office once again on a Saturday morning staring at an overflowing desk) and the weather here has been disgusting for weeks, so I am not sure if this is just a tide of frustration I'd be feeling no matter what, or if it's amplified by the knowledge that there's no way to stick my head in the sand for a few hours anymore. I spent the first month actually feeling pretty cheery so I suppose it's just been a disappointment to learn that you can't ride that upbeat emotional wave for a bit longer.
Oh my gosh, I could have said the same thing at my spot right now! Minus the work since I stay home with the kids which is another sort of job, I too felt the first month was great and now it’s hard to find the greatness in what is good. How do you practice gratitude when you can’t find it?? I hope we are both in a funk! I’ve heard it takes a few months to get your head on straight!

Good job on the 41 days!!
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Old 02-13-2018, 03:26 PM
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good to hear its going ok, irishlaw

D
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