silverskies

I just passed the three week mark of sobriety. A bottle of wine + was going down every night with more on the weekend. These past 3 weeks have been fine with no major cravings or temptations including getting through a girls' night, eating out, and the super bowl. My husband who also is a big drinker has been incredibly supportive and has not drank at home in front of me. In fact he had his first dry super bowl of adulthood!

Our family (just dh and our kids) is heading to an all-inclusive resort for a week where I always would day-drink beer on the beach and do margaritas and wine at night. This is something DH and I have done since dating. And while my dh is supportive at home, he just doesn't fully get it. He grew up with a big party family and loves to do so himself.

I've been fantasizing about drinking on this upcoming vacation. And wonder if I'm already thinking about it, how am I going to abstain for the entire week while it's surrounding me? Threads I've read suggest keeping busy with activities and excursions, but that's really not my thing. There's a part of me that thinks, "Oh I'll just indulge while away and then get back on the sobriety train when I get home." Trust me, right now I know how hard it is to get where I am now. But am afraid I'll just let my AV talk me right back into drinking.

Any tips for getting through these temptations? Need some inspiration as I'm already stressing. Thanks!

16YearsDrunk

Congratulations on 3 weeks

Think about something. You've battled many demons to get to where you are now. Think about why you stopped in the first place. This is your brain playing tricks on you.

You are in control and by the sounds of it you have a lot of self control. Is it worth spoiling all that for a week of drinking? You know how it goes, you'll be back off your vacation and back on the wine.

Been there. Done that. Got all the shirts lol.

I have a funeral Thursday. Everyone will be drinking. My stepdad's. I'm going to look like the spare part sober but I'm 100% that I will do it. No questions asked.

You've got this. Have some faith in yourself My gf is not supportive either because she didn't see my drinking as a problem ... but my health and mental state said otherwise. There's no chance on earth she would get me to touch alcohol. I've told her not to offer me alcohol, or drink around me atm, and she respects that

August252015

I have to say it: don't go.

ScottFromWI

Congrats on 3 weeks silverskies. Regarding your comment above - what exactly is "your thing"? Sobriety requires us to do a lot of things that aren't "our thing" or "for us".

I'm guessing that your past goals for these types of trips were pretty much drinking the whole time? I know I always did. You will likely get suggestions to just cancel the trip completely or stay home, and that is actually valid advice. In the grand scheme of things, if the main purpose of the trip is to drink, you probably don't need to be there anyway.

Having said that, if you are planning on going no matter what, the advice you'd need to take is basically what you've already discounted - make plans for alternate activities that don't involve drinking. I am sure there are a whole host of options to choose from, you could likely call ahead and find out exactly what is available. I can tell you from personal experience that hanging out with a bunch of drinkers anywhere when you are not drinking is pretty boring anyway.

Anna

I have to be honest, I never could have managed that, and I couldn't afford to fail.

I would not go.

If you are firm in going, I would find anything and everything to do that didn't involve alcohol. But, even if you do alternative things, there will likely always be alcohol at meal times.

tomsteve

im agreeing with others here, mainly because of this:
Threads I've read suggest keeping busy with activities and excursions, but that's really not my thing.
all you did on vacation is drink? that sounds like just sooo much fun- doing something i can do close to home. yay.fun.yippie. ill sit back and drink away my vacation away from home. miss out on all the things to do on vacation.
its time to do something new!
if you truly decide to go, step out of your comfort zone and do something new- theres probably hundreds of things to do where youre going other than sit around a bunch of drinkers,not liking it, start feeling sorry for yourself, then end up drunk.

2ndhandrose

"Threads I've read suggest keeping busy with activities and excursions, but that's really not my thing."

I would venture that 'activities and excursions' haven't been your thing in the past because day drinking beer on the beach and night drinking margaritas and wine have been your thing.

This could be an exciting adventure, not a 3 week fight with your AV!

Why not check into the local activities and excursions and pick a couple or few to try? Sounds like a better plan than white knuckling for 3 weeks.

Or worse, drinking. Countless threads around SR attest to the fact that is not so easy to get back on the horse.

I look forward to hearing about your adventure!

2ndhandrose

Sorry, I should have said 1 week for your holiday.

I mixed up your sober time of 3 weeks, and Congratulations on that!

ReadyAtLast

Hey I'm with you on this. I've got just over 4 weeks and going away on Friday. We were supposed to be doing a city break but my husband has walking issues atm plus it's so cold here we are desperate for heat. We are going to an ai resort too. I have packed 7 books one for each day. Going to truly relax have some nice treatments in the spa walks on the beach etc. I'm focusing on really enjoying a peacefull holiday and not being ill dehydrated in the sun.

We can do this . Hope you have a lovely time.

silverskies

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful replies! While I get why some may suggest that I stay home, that's not going to happen. My family and i have very much looked forward to this vacation. With that being said, I didn't leave much room for suggestions since "activities are not my thing." I should clarify I do have hobbies, interests and like activities. I just really enjoy low-key activities and not the kind of go-go-go, constantly running around person.

I've given a lot of thought of how I can make this a different, non-drinking experience
-waking early, getting coffee, exploring the resort/beach, watching the sunrise. I love getting up early without a hangover!
-I have 4 books ready to go, and will probably read them all!
-I'm bringing my travel watercolor set, easy games to play with my kids during downtime-cards, yahtzee, etc.
-Leaving the resort to check out 5th avenue--apparently only a five minute taxi ride away
-meditating
-journaling
-going for a walk on beach with my family
-playing tennis
- working out in the fitness center
-one on one time with each of my kids in the ocean or pool-doing what they want.
-coming here to SR to read or post as needed
-visiting instagram for sober inspiration

Some of these things I already do, but really making a conscious effort to be active and engaged-- get out of my comfort zone! I'm going to have a serious talk with my husband about why it's important for me to continue on this journey especially while on vacation.

Thank you again for the suggestions. Just posting here gave me a lot to think about!

2ndhandrose

Excellent update, silverskies (love your username!)

It sounds like you do have a plan to stay sober on your vacation! You made it sound so fun, I wish I could go with you

Definitely post on SR while you are away