dawnrising

This one really resonated with me. I did not grow up in addiction but my AH family is full of them. His Dad, aunts, uncles all big drinkers I would qualify a few of them as alcoholics. My AH Dad apparently had a reputation in our home town for "never growing out of it." There is also alcoholism on AH's maternal family. This article really spelled out all the traits I have seen in my AH. The perfectionism, the control, the fear, responsibility all of it. I actually have compassion when I think of it this way. To take all of that in as a child is heartbreaking, but to continue to not address the issues as an adult and repeat the same behavior is life altering. The whole thing is just sad and I am so sad that I have now exposed my kids to this cycle. The good news is that the kids and I are willing to face it. I hope and pray it's enough.Here's the link :

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/joni-...b_8033346.html

LovePeaceSushi

Thank you for posting that. I am an adult child of an alcoholic and these are all true.

DesertEyes

Oh yes, definitely me before recovery.

Mike

wehav2day

Wow, yes me too. Then I became the addict. After telling myself there’s no way I would ever do that to myself or anyone else...

Thank goodness for recovery. And thank you for sharing.

aasharon90

Life in recovery has helped but I too am
a continued work in progress.

Awake2018

Thank you for that. My oldest daughter fits the bill there and I am just now seeing the damage fallout from AH behaviors. Makes me so sad I only saw our issues as husband/ wife problems. I am going to use it to open a conversation with her.

CentralOhioDad

My golly - that is totally my AW.

TimeForMe

Thanks, Dawn, for the article.

That is me 100%. Yikes. It makes me wonder "who" I would be if I didn't grow up with an alcoholic father. Or is that just my "all or nothing perfectionist" talking?

SparkleKitty

This is me, 100%, pre-recovery. I would not wish this on anyone.

FireSprite

I was 10 for 10 on that list, Pre-Recovery. Just reading it triggered tears, total PTSD-ish reaction.

This is why we ACoA here on this board adamantly refuse to entertain the idea that children living in the throes of active addiction are doing so unscathed.

What's REALLY happening is that their damage is so deep, so closely tied to the foundations of their personalities that you can't discern a character trait (nature) from early Codie behavior born out of necessity for Emotional Survival. (nurture) It starts THAT early in life for many of us.

DesertEyes

For those of you who would like to dig deeper we have a forum "next door" just for us ACoA's

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...holic-parents/

Mike