Drunk
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 222
Drunk
It’s like a relentless juggernaut every day. No matter the mood at the time, I seem to finish the day drinking to excess. Can deal without it through the entire day, it’s just the evenings that are the pain in the neck to change
It’s like I’m scared of life without boozing, like I won’t be myself or I can’t manage without it, or I won’t be sociable and fun. Twisted logic most like. I will probably be a fuller person without it.
I originally came here as someone with a drinking problem. I stopped and was happy with my decision. My relationship broke down and I started drinking again. The remainder of my life is happy and I am very fortunate of that. I want to stay connected here, I sometimes feel like I’m actively annoying some posters due to my indecisiveness at times. That is not my intention. I came here as it was supportive and encouraging. I still feel it is.
There is a Stew in there that wants out if this. I know what I’m doing is not sustainable. I just want to feel like I’m able to post whatever the situation and not feel like I’m annoying others with what I’m saying.
Thanks to all that suppprt me and look out for me 🙂
It’s like I’m scared of life without boozing, like I won’t be myself or I can’t manage without it, or I won’t be sociable and fun. Twisted logic most like. I will probably be a fuller person without it.
I originally came here as someone with a drinking problem. I stopped and was happy with my decision. My relationship broke down and I started drinking again. The remainder of my life is happy and I am very fortunate of that. I want to stay connected here, I sometimes feel like I’m actively annoying some posters due to my indecisiveness at times. That is not my intention. I came here as it was supportive and encouraging. I still feel it is.
There is a Stew in there that wants out if this. I know what I’m doing is not sustainable. I just want to feel like I’m able to post whatever the situation and not feel like I’m annoying others with what I’m saying.
Thanks to all that suppprt me and look out for me 🙂
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
I'm a night time drinker too. Throughout the day I rarely feel the desire to drink, but once I've finished work and I put my feet up thats when I start. Also struggling. I have no advice for you except to say I feel your pain right now.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
We know you're in there, Stew. We're trying to figure out how best to help you. I doubt anyone's annoyed. Never stop checking in and continuing to seek freedom from alcohol. As you've already discovered, it does nothing to enhance your life & only brings you misery.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 2,332
I was a night time drinker too. I really am not in any position to offer advice, I can only say since you were sober before, think back and remember what made you get sober the last time and what you did to achieve it, and then dig deep and do it again. Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,100
Stew,
The old adage of 'keep coming back' really hits home here. Please take some time if you haven't already to read through some of the stories others have posted. You'll find tons of similarities with those who've chosen the sober path. It's not a magical thing; I had to take concrete steps to turn the proverbial corner. I was definitely where you are right now--thinking that there wasn't an alternative...also I didn't care if I lived. I can be right back there in an instant, too if I drank again.
Stay with us man...you got this
The old adage of 'keep coming back' really hits home here. Please take some time if you haven't already to read through some of the stories others have posted. You'll find tons of similarities with those who've chosen the sober path. It's not a magical thing; I had to take concrete steps to turn the proverbial corner. I was definitely where you are right now--thinking that there wasn't an alternative...also I didn't care if I lived. I can be right back there in an instant, too if I drank again.
Stay with us man...you got this
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hey Stewy
If you see nighttime is the problem, why not make a real definite plan to combat that?
There shouldn't be any reason for you not to read some of the ideas here and implement them.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
Have you thought anymore on AA? A nightly meeting could help. Same goes for any meeting based group really - SMART, LifeRing....
It's great you acknowledge the problem but I reckon thats only half the solution,
You're going to need to take some kind of action .
It's like realising your problem is a locked door but not actively searching for the key?
D
If you see nighttime is the problem, why not make a real definite plan to combat that?
There shouldn't be any reason for you not to read some of the ideas here and implement them.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
Have you thought anymore on AA? A nightly meeting could help. Same goes for any meeting based group really - SMART, LifeRing....
It's great you acknowledge the problem but I reckon thats only half the solution,
You're going to need to take some kind of action .
It's like realising your problem is a locked door but not actively searching for the key?
D
Last edited by Dee74; 02-04-2018 at 02:37 PM.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
I get it, Stew. It's hard to keep posting when you know the answer is "Stop it, then! "
But you're here because you're trying or at least you want to be trying. So am I. Post away, man. It's better than silence and isolation any day.
But you're here because you're trying or at least you want to be trying. So am I. Post away, man. It's better than silence and isolation any day.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 374
Evenings are the worst time for me too. I'm only on day 22, so really early days. What I've been doing is:
a) Keeping busy. Planning out my evenings. Even if it's just things around the house. If a craving hits, take a shower to get my mind off it.
b) Drinking copious amounts of non-alc drinks like teas (herbal or regular), soda water, soft drink (not the best, I know, but better than booze), juice.
c) Trying to eat dinner EARLY. Once I have food in my stomach I'm less likely to crave. Then of course a cup of tea while I watch TV or read.
d) Getting in bed early. Teeth brushed and read in bed or whatever. Don't know if this is just me but once my teeth are brushed there's a mental barrier between myself and eating or drinking anything but water.
Anything to get your head on the pillow sober. I know my advice is nothing earth shattering, sorry I have nothing else to offer.
a) Keeping busy. Planning out my evenings. Even if it's just things around the house. If a craving hits, take a shower to get my mind off it.
b) Drinking copious amounts of non-alc drinks like teas (herbal or regular), soda water, soft drink (not the best, I know, but better than booze), juice.
c) Trying to eat dinner EARLY. Once I have food in my stomach I'm less likely to crave. Then of course a cup of tea while I watch TV or read.
d) Getting in bed early. Teeth brushed and read in bed or whatever. Don't know if this is just me but once my teeth are brushed there's a mental barrier between myself and eating or drinking anything but water.
Anything to get your head on the pillow sober. I know my advice is nothing earth shattering, sorry I have nothing else to offer.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 610
Hi stewy, it takes more than wanting,, to get out of that prison.
It takes doing and sometimes that action of doing is uncomfortable and not what you want to do in that moment. It takes pushing through that.
Alcohol screws up your mind so bad that it can be really hard to get out of your head and see above the muck, at the bigger picture and the beautiful world going on without you, all around you. I am only just over a year into my new life alcohol free and already i see how twisted up i was. There wont be a better time and it will always be this hard or harder. It just takes a decision from you to finally end it.
It takes doing and sometimes that action of doing is uncomfortable and not what you want to do in that moment. It takes pushing through that.
Alcohol screws up your mind so bad that it can be really hard to get out of your head and see above the muck, at the bigger picture and the beautiful world going on without you, all around you. I am only just over a year into my new life alcohol free and already i see how twisted up i was. There wont be a better time and it will always be this hard or harder. It just takes a decision from you to finally end it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 980
Night time was my witching hour too. Come home from work, drink until bed while i scrambled around to do laundry, housework, cook supper, dishes, pay bills etc. I’d drink until bedtime and get up and do the same thing the next night. Then it started creeping into the daytime, then into daily, then I’d take a few days off to recoup (all the while still working) and start the nightly routine again.
What helped me was to re-organize my nights. I made sure chores were done in the am (or most of them) so I had more free time @ night. I could make a healthy dinner, finish chores, binge on netflix - ANYTHING to change up my nightly routine. EVERY, SINGLE TIME I relapsed it was always worse and woke the AV up. If I could get a few days and NOT touch anything I could be ok.
Maybe a meeting @ night, (AA, SMART?). SR? Have you looked into Rational Recovery or 30 days to sobriety? I found that early on if I kept my recovery the FOCUS of my days, I could string a few sober days together, then a few more etc. It was when I lose that focus that it got bad again.
Have you spoken with your doctor about medications?? In the end, keep coming back and don’t give up. We know how hard it is. If it were easy none of us would be here.
What helped me was to re-organize my nights. I made sure chores were done in the am (or most of them) so I had more free time @ night. I could make a healthy dinner, finish chores, binge on netflix - ANYTHING to change up my nightly routine. EVERY, SINGLE TIME I relapsed it was always worse and woke the AV up. If I could get a few days and NOT touch anything I could be ok.
Maybe a meeting @ night, (AA, SMART?). SR? Have you looked into Rational Recovery or 30 days to sobriety? I found that early on if I kept my recovery the FOCUS of my days, I could string a few sober days together, then a few more etc. It was when I lose that focus that it got bad again.
Have you spoken with your doctor about medications?? In the end, keep coming back and don’t give up. We know how hard it is. If it were easy none of us would be here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 980
Another thingthat helped me was that I started making myself notes on my computer. Just a diary of sorts explaining the sickness, aches, anxiety that I felt the next morning. The lost time, the disappointment of my family. I have several dated notes that I can go back and re-read. It puts the “morning after” in perspective before I put myself through that again by buying a bottle.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Washington
Posts: 75
“Can deal without it through the entire day, it’s just the evenings that are the pain in the neck to change”
I used to think that too - that I was an “evening drinker” and that was a somehow more comforting subcategory of alcoholic.
But I eventually became an early afternoon drinker and for a frightening period before I sobered up, a lunchtime and morning drinker. I’d managed the evening part for a good ten years, but when the drinking accelerated it did FAST. Please commit to quitting before you reach that point!
I used to think that too - that I was an “evening drinker” and that was a somehow more comforting subcategory of alcoholic.
But I eventually became an early afternoon drinker and for a frightening period before I sobered up, a lunchtime and morning drinker. I’d managed the evening part for a good ten years, but when the drinking accelerated it did FAST. Please commit to quitting before you reach that point!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
Hi Stewy,
I’m only 20 days sober so very early on this journey. I was a night time drinker too, I totally get the pattern. I considered myself ‘functional’, but things slowly were getting worse. I was starting to drink earlier in the evening, drinking more, starting to wake up on the sofa at 2 am and mornings were becoming more foggy.
There were also some silent changes going on inside, along with the flushed face, skin problems, weight gain and frequent dehydration which I was aware of, but pushed aside, a visit to the Dr revealed seriously high bp and badly elevated liver enzymes.
It’s good that you want to stay connected here, the support is fantastic. I hope you can become the Stewy you want to be.
I’m only 20 days sober so very early on this journey. I was a night time drinker too, I totally get the pattern. I considered myself ‘functional’, but things slowly were getting worse. I was starting to drink earlier in the evening, drinking more, starting to wake up on the sofa at 2 am and mornings were becoming more foggy.
There were also some silent changes going on inside, along with the flushed face, skin problems, weight gain and frequent dehydration which I was aware of, but pushed aside, a visit to the Dr revealed seriously high bp and badly elevated liver enzymes.
It’s good that you want to stay connected here, the support is fantastic. I hope you can become the Stewy you want to be.
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