dawnrising

So I was writing out my monthly goals for February. I have been doing this for the last 6 months most are personal but some are practical. Anyway one of my goals was to get the toxic energy out of my bedroom and make it truly reflect me. His side had a bunch of work type books etc. Anyway I was moving all that stuff into his closet and I had to move a smaller box to make room. I opened it up and it was the stuff from his office that he brought home back in 2008, things he didn't want in his office anymore. (pictures of his kids and family) Anyway part of his complaint was that I never showed enough appreciation bla bla bla. In this box were many note cardsI had written him telling him how proud I was, hoping that he was having a good day. Telling him I know how hard he works. Then there was a small box filled with little pieces of paper with 365 reasons why I love you which I gave him. Then there were these little handmade cards again like 50 of them with words of encouragement, thank you, love notes etc. I was sitting there in the middle of the closet thinking whoa that is messed up. I had hand cut these cards, put beautiful words on everyone and I didn't appreciate him enough. Let me tell you I have no box in my closet filled with reasons why he loved me. In fact one of the last cards I received he glues a piece of paper over the nice part because "he wasn't feeling it" Anyway I think the universe is providing me this little gift of finding these things so when the - did I try hard enough - doubt pops into my head I know I did. WOW

honeypig

A card w/paper pasted over the nice part b/c he "wasn't feeling it"? To me, that is seriously weird and nasty...

I hope you feel a lot better after removing that toxic energy; it seems like it's pretty dang poisonous!

maia1234

Dawn,
Amazing isn't it.

When I was "cleaning house" after my divorce. I found notes I kept from high school of him lying to me and apologizing to me, regarding smoking dope and drinking. Stating in the note, that when we had children he wouldn't need to smoke dope any longer. Fast forward 34 years of lying, drinking and smoking dope. I was so stupid!!

Keep moving forward, that's all we can do.

dandylion

dawnrising.....he takes my breath away with that card trick.....I have never known anyone to do that on a card. to block out the nice parts??!! as if you are too gullible or just plain too stupid to notice and not be offended?!
Really, I think you should add his maneuvers to our "quackers" thread!!
they are real gems of quackery.....

dawnrising

I know right, crazy stuff. In the moment I told him he woulda been better off not getting me a card at all, but I guess that wouldn't have hurt me. I have actually been laughing at this today. I am football/party/ AH free and my day is consisting of making my bedroom cozy, a bubble bath, and an empowering movie, and a good chuckle to boot.

trailmix

You know we read a lot of weird stuff here. That card - thing - is way way out there.

Strangely I wonder if he even meant it to BE mean, he may have thought that was just fine.

Glad that you are having such a nice day!

dandylion

trailmix.....You know...for a real...I mean REAL narcissistic personality disorder...they don't see it at being mean...they don't have the empathy of "normal" people. If they hurt you..they don't care...

I know that you do know this...but, for the sake of the several hundred people who read these posts, every day....most all of us have some narcissistic moments, from time to time...and alcoholics can have a lot of them, as they spiral into their disease...but, a true personality disorder is in a whole different league of severity...and, they seldom change....ever....

Harperlee4

That’s awful! Especially after all those really lovely and thoughtful things you did for him I’m glad at least you can use that as a reminder now to help you move forward.

My alcoholic ex sent messages to a female colleague complaining about me, calling me a friend he has no desire to sleep with and expressed wanting to break up with me but needing my help. When I confronted him he turned it back on me and simply raged about me reading his messages. Our break up is only recent and I’m still missing him but I try to think of all the nasty things he said and it really does help!