Change4good

Good Sunday to everyone. I am writing this for both myself, and for those early in sobriety, or contemplating sobriety. I hope it will be inspirational. Others, feel free to do your "Then and Now" on this thread.


Then: Horrible vertigo and extreme fear of heights. I live in Washington DC, and could barely do escalators getting off the metro (subway). Panic all the way up.

Now: Doesn't even phase me. I did the monuments with my kids the other day, with steep, open outdoor steps. Not a problem. Never dizzy or feeling like I was going to pass out

Then: Dry brittle hair that I could not touch because it was so alarming to me. Lots of it was falling out, and wasn't growing. I had horrible dry scalp that I could scrape with my hands and have tons of dead skin. Gross, I know.

Now: Super soft, growing again, and is shiny. No dandruff. No flakes. Hairdresser asked if my diet had changed. Yes, I cut out some things.

Then: Horrible panic attacks that would only be relieved with drinking. 3 am wake ups that could only be remedied with more alcohol. Woke up smelling like alcohol, putting my kids on the bus.

Now: Panic and anxiety is gone. Not once have I had a panic attack. And because of this, I can resume public speaking, talking to neighbors, drive, and live like a normal person.

Then: Brain fog that rendered me incapable of problem solving or doing tasks that required mental exertion. I was dead in the head. I had to leave my job because I could not learn new tasks,

Now: I am able to read, write, discern, engage in dialogue, learn, and study with focus. I would not have been able to compose this list at the worst of my drinking. Now I can.

Then: I was disengaged from my kids. I took care of their physical needs (although even this lapsed), but I didn't help with homework, have meaningful conversations about their hopes and fears, or watch them grow as I should have.

Now: I am actively engaged in their lives. My 9 year old daughter is now in an advanced academic program because I was able to help her reach her unrealized potential. I was in a gifted and talented program as a kid, and I knew she was up for the challenge.

Then: I went everywhere drunk or with alcohol in my system. I am sure the world knew. This shames me beyond belief, but I was drunk/buzzed for parent/teacher conferences, soccer games, parties, job interviews (which I somehow got), Christmas mornings. I was drunk at the grocery store, gas station, road trips. I could never drive, so my husband had to do the lift.

Now: I can drive anywhere, I never have to worry about if I smell, I never have to worry about what I said or did, I trust that even silly things that come out of my mouth are just that, and not the product of being drunk. I no longer worry if my neighbors and friends are on the me.

Then: I didn't take care of my 110 pound Bernese Mountain Dog puppy. He requires lots of exercise to grow, and I did the bare minimum with walking him. Just enough for him to take care of business. That disappointed look about him killed me.

Now: I just got back from a 4 mile walk with him. Granted, it took an hour and a half, but we did it. He is happy and exhausted.

Then: I spent loads of money on booze. I almost maxed out a credit card. I let finances slide. I bought drinks at lunch while working that cost more than a sandwich, which is what I should have gotten.

Now: I spend the same amount at the grocery store, but with enough food to feed my family for a week. Before, the same amount would buy two meals because of wine and beer purchases.

Then: I neglected my hygiene. There was a stretch where I didn't shower or change my clothes for three days straight. I was gross, and my husband said I had started to smell stale. I had never experienced that.

Now: Shower, lotion, exfoliate. I get my hair and nails done. Clothes are clean and they all match. I care about how I look now. I didn't before.

Then: I was pretty hopeless. I felt as if I was squandering my potential. I was plagued by how many opportunities I had missed. How I had wrecked professional relationships. I could not stop thinking about the past, and wasn't too thrilled about the future.

Now: I deal with regrets appropriately. I ask myself what I can learn from them. I put my energy into resurrecting my life, instead of beating myself up.

Then: I had a problem with everyone and everything. I was judgmental, gossipy, basically everything antithetical to who I was before drinking.

Now: I realize everyone is fighting some kind of battle. I think before I speak. I give people the benefit of the doubt. I assume a posture of curiosity, instead of seeing what I expect to see.

There are so many more. I appreciate this place so much, in that I can put something like this out there. The support, knowledge, inspiration has been incredible from you great people.

Thanks.

Caralara144

This is so fantastic
And so so like me
Thank you so much for posting this
Just made my day ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Caralara ❤️

Sobriety2018

I love your post! So many similarities i can relate to! It is amazing how taking the alcohol out of the equation can really change your life!

GoodLife32

This is a great post. Thanks. I am early in sobriety, and I am starting to feel much better.

02022018

I think I could have written just about the same Then items.....I hope to have Now someday!

Change4good

And all the health issues that have resolved themselves! Gout, inflamation, body aches, weight gain, blurry vision. . .

Change4good

It is there for anyone if they want it. :-)

soberandhonest

That's a really cool post C4G! Thank you for sharing.

02022018

Interesting....I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and sometimes have blurry vision for no reason they can find - I have often wondered if it is connected to drinking.

Change4good

My vision totally cleared up with sobriety. It took three weeks though. I couldn't read labels it was so bad.

thomas11

I read an article yesterday that professional football player Earl Campbell said that sobriety was the greatest thing that ever happened to him. More than winning the heisman trophy and playing in the NFL.

nova84

A fantastically inspirational post Change4good...thank you 💜

Dee74

Fantastic - thanks for sharing C4G

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