KOL

I need to make a change. No huge rock bottom, but my drinking is causing problems in my relationships with family members, and I am not enjoying the things I used to enjoy. My husband has found out I'm drinking more than he thought, and I just don't have the time or energy to hide it anymore. I want to enjoy what I used to enjoy, have more quality time with my kids, and move on with a happy, sober life. I have "quit" before, but always seem to start up again. Doing some research on AA meetings in my area but I am so intimidated I don't even know where to start? Just walk in? How to pick the right one? This forum seemed like a good start.

milly4me

Welcome! It's got to be exhausting to hide your drinking. I think you are going to feel so much better once you cut through the bullsh*t and just start being honest - with others and yourself.

I'm very early in this recovery process, so I'm sure others have more helpful advice, but I would suggest you spend A LOT of time reading, reading, reading through these boards (including the "stickies" on top of the threads.)

First thing is you need to formulate a "recovery plan". There's a sticky to help you. (I would link it here if I knew how).

But mainly WELCOME. You have a bunch of new instant friends here ready to help you!!

Caralara144

Hi my story is just similar to yours .I to was drinking more than my family knew ...went from weekends to every night .
A bottle of wine maybe more
Then at weekends it was 2 bottles a night
I was excausted trying to juggle it
And hide the emptys
I decided the day after boxing Day I'd had enough ...
And I quit ...
I found this group on New year's Day and it was the best thing I ever found
I don't do AA .... although I'm waiting on an appointment for the addiction clinic
I'm 38 days sober and life has never been better
I have my ups and downs
Days where I would do anything for a drink
But I post here when I feel down and every one is so so good and caring
I wish you well on your journey and look forward to hearing from you

Much love
Caralara ❤️

ProfessorD

Welcome! I second Milly above. So glad you are here making this positive change. You can do it! And the folks here can help

Berrybean

Hi Lol. Glad you're here and posting.

I too found the idea of walking into my first AA meeting intimidating. And to be honest there's no easy was to do it, you just do it. With regards to best one to try first, well, maybe just the soonest one. It's best to try a few different ones anyway - you're bound to meet some of the same folk at different ones you go to so you'd soon start recognising some faces. Lots of ladies feel better going to a women's only meeting first (for logistical reasons I've never yet been to a women only one - to be honest I was always more intimidated by other women than men anyway, so it would never have been my own personal choice for a first meeting).

If you haven't realised yet (it took me a while),'open' on a meeting description means the meeting is open to alcoholics and non-alcoholics as well. Whereas 'closed' means it's ONLY open to alcoholics.

And yes, you can just turn up . No booking or registering or anything like that. I'd suggest getting there ten mins before the meeting is due to start so you can get settled before the bell dings.

Whichever meeting you choose as your first you can be sure of a warm welcome.

BB

BreezyFe

Welcome!

There is great support here. I'm new here as well and some days I post & others I just read. Either way I log on everyday. This site is my comfort zone.

I've gone to a few AA meetings but it wasn't for me. However never went to a woman's only group.

Each person handles their journey in their own way .

Best to you!

Done4today

Welcome KOL to SR,

I am an AAer and I remember how intimidating it can be. The first 6 months I probably drove away from more meetings than I walked into. I would suggest not to do that. Over the two plus years I have attended all sorts of meetings in many different states, not once was I questioned or felt judged.

I would suggest try all sorts of different meetings. And don't worry about being recognized because those recognizing you are there for the same reason and were at where you are.

Couple simple rules that I follow when sharing:
Keep it simple and to my drinking problems/solutions.
It's not the platform to unleash your 5th step or confessions.
Try to be brief (3-5min max).
when in doubt pass and ask my sponsor.

Good luck and get a sponsor ASAP.

KOL

Thank you all for the warm welcome! Keeping busy today so hopefully will go to bed later tonight sober and wake up ready to start a day tomorrow feeling great! Lots of activities with the kids tonight so no real "drinking" triggers today- hoping that makes it a bit easier! Superbowl will be another story but I'm determined.

Again- thanks for the support. Looking forward to having people to connect with that understand.

brighterday1234

I found total honesty with myself about being an alcoholic was essential for me to stay sober. Also I made sure there was never any “bolt hole” to run down in the future if my resolve was inevitably a bit weaker. Action on a daily basis was required to stop any chance of picking up again.

If you’re an alcoholic treat your recovery like it’s more important than anything because without it what you hold as being more important will fall apart anyway.

All the best

Komplex

Welcome KOL. I am 15 days sober, which is my third longest streak in 6 years. The longest was 36 days. On this day 4, I walked into a local AA meeting. I was nervous, but it was my only plan and I just showed up and sat down. It was AWESOME. I’ve been back to that same room every night since. Everyone there walked in a first time, they understand!

CaliButterfly

Yes, you just walk in. Bring a dollar for the basket. Get there early and sit in the back if you just want to observe and not socialize a lot. You don't have to be religious, but it helps to have faith in a higher power to do the 12 steps. You are not required to actively participate until you feel comfortable. Everyone is inviting, accepting, and friendly. If you go a few times and it's not your cup of tea, don't be discouraged. Another method is Rational Recovery.

You don't have to hit rock bottom to get back to yourself. You're on the right path. Stick with it and happiness will follow. Namaste

Anna

I'm glad you found us and posted. Good job on getting through the day! It's always a good idea to plan ahead and maybe reconsider the Super Bowl party?

Dee74

Welcome aboard KOL

D

VikingGF

Welcome to you, KOL!

Ken0331

Welcome.

Yeah, just pick a meeting off the list and show up. That's what I did when I came home from rehab. Actually I picked several for the whole week, and showed up to them all.

Sometimes people want to have someone there who they can meet and "show them the ropes" so they don't feel so out of place. You could always call your local intergroup's AA hotline and tell them just what you told us, and ask if someone from that group would be willing to talk to you first and meet you there.

Don't worry about being recognized by someone you know in real life. That person is there for the same reason you are, and we respect anonymity. You won't be "outed". If you don't like the first meeting you go to, try a different one. Each group has it's own "personality".

You don't have to say anything at your first meeting if you don't want to. Every meeting I've been to asks if there is anyone here attending they're first AA meeting & if they'd like to introduce him/herself by first name only. You can if you want, it's up to you. No one will know if it's your first, or you're just visiting from out of town.

If you do, you'll get a hug, probably a welcome chip and a phone/meeting list.

You don't have to share, either. If called upon (very rare) you can just say you are only here to observe tonight, and you'll share as you get more comfortable.


Hope that helps, and welcome to your journey to a new, sober life!

johnnyt53

AA meetings seem intimidating at first, not always but it was for me. I'm still trying to fit in somewhere in all this. There are common things to focus on. I could totally relate to your post. You will make a connection with face to face people just like you've made a connection here. I know if I just put a little of the energy that I used to put into hiding what I was doing to recovery I will be more than good. Wishing you all the best on this endless journey.

least

Welcome to the family. There are two kinds of AA meetings: closed and open. Closed means only for alcoholics (those who want to stop drinking) and open, for anyone with an interest in AA.