new here. 38 days sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 5
new here. 38 days sober
This is my first post after lurking for 6-7 weeks. Not really sure how to start...
I feel like I've been an alcoholic for years, but didn't admit it to myself until recently. I drank heavily for 10-12 years. Since I got married, 4+ years ago, I moderated but still have been drinking most nights. I have hid it well and since drying out for the last 38 days have come to the realization just how much time I wasted in my life by hiding my habit. Looking back, anxiety (social and general) and mood are at the root of my alcoholism. It started because of extreme anxiety around people and in social situations and got progressively worse because it improved my mood...struggled with being down about life for a long time and booze made me happy. I'm a functional alcoholic. I have held the same job (construction) for all of my adult life (46 years old) and train for and compete in triathlons and long distance running events. I think it would surprise family and friends if the truth came out about all of my drinking.
Even with moderation over the last few years, and even moreso over the last year+ due to my 14-month-old daughter, I have been having some health issues that seem to have worsened since I quit. I have seen the doctor more in the last 2 months than I have in, probably, the last 15-20 years. I'm concerned about neuropathy-like symptoms. I love my wife and daughter more than anything and I can't fathom hurting them like I feel my health issues, indirectly, could. They don't deserve to pay the freight for me not being able to control myself. I really struggle with that.
For now, I can't see turning back to the booze/alcohol because I'm scared out of my mind about how I'm feeling and the possible consequences. I guess all I can do is take this day by day and pray for the best.
Thanks for listening, Pat
I feel like I've been an alcoholic for years, but didn't admit it to myself until recently. I drank heavily for 10-12 years. Since I got married, 4+ years ago, I moderated but still have been drinking most nights. I have hid it well and since drying out for the last 38 days have come to the realization just how much time I wasted in my life by hiding my habit. Looking back, anxiety (social and general) and mood are at the root of my alcoholism. It started because of extreme anxiety around people and in social situations and got progressively worse because it improved my mood...struggled with being down about life for a long time and booze made me happy. I'm a functional alcoholic. I have held the same job (construction) for all of my adult life (46 years old) and train for and compete in triathlons and long distance running events. I think it would surprise family and friends if the truth came out about all of my drinking.
Even with moderation over the last few years, and even moreso over the last year+ due to my 14-month-old daughter, I have been having some health issues that seem to have worsened since I quit. I have seen the doctor more in the last 2 months than I have in, probably, the last 15-20 years. I'm concerned about neuropathy-like symptoms. I love my wife and daughter more than anything and I can't fathom hurting them like I feel my health issues, indirectly, could. They don't deserve to pay the freight for me not being able to control myself. I really struggle with that.
For now, I can't see turning back to the booze/alcohol because I'm scared out of my mind about how I'm feeling and the possible consequences. I guess all I can do is take this day by day and pray for the best.
Thanks for listening, Pat
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Welcome to the posting side of SR, NoEinstein; it is nice to meet you.
I am glad that you are partnering with your doctor about your physical symptoms. Does your doctor know about your previous rate of alcohol consumption? If you haven't made this disclosure, it would likely be wise to do so.
38 days of sobriety is great but it is still very early days in the scheme of things. Your body is healing - physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally; listen to its signals; your body needs a huge amount of energy to heal; it may deliberately try to slow you down; rest when you are tired; eat in a healthy fashion; stay well-hydrated; get some fresh air and sunshine day.
Above all, be kind and patient with yourself.
Stay close. We care.
I am glad that you are partnering with your doctor about your physical symptoms. Does your doctor know about your previous rate of alcohol consumption? If you haven't made this disclosure, it would likely be wise to do so.
38 days of sobriety is great but it is still very early days in the scheme of things. Your body is healing - physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally; listen to its signals; your body needs a huge amount of energy to heal; it may deliberately try to slow you down; rest when you are tired; eat in a healthy fashion; stay well-hydrated; get some fresh air and sunshine day.
Above all, be kind and patient with yourself.
Stay close. We care.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
Welcome NoEinstein. Congratulations on 38 days that is a great achievement. I’m on day 17 and am working with my Dr to deal with some health issues caused by my drinking. If you haven’t shared the extent of your drinking with your Dr or your concerns about neuropathy I really encourage you to do so. I was stressed about having those conversations, but it was really helpful and reassuring and has also really supported me in my commitment to not drinking. While not all the damage we do to ourselves through drinking is always reversable, a lot of it can be in time with healthy choices.
It’s great to have you with us.
It’s great to have you with us.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 192
Welcome NoEinstein! I'm Day 39. It's great u r working with your Dr...like the others replied most of the damage heals, just takes time..I have lab req for a complete blood work up and I've been putting it off. Want a few more weeks for liver enzymes to come down. (or I'm just afraid).
Have a great weekend
Have a great weekend
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: North Georgia Mountains
Posts: 588
You may be Noeinstein, but you are extremely smart because you have found these forums and you are tackling your drinking problem before it gets more out of control.
Welcome and congrats on 38 days!
Welcome and congrats on 38 days!
Reverse Psych
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Mountains of Deep South
Posts: 25
Welcome NoEinstein!
I have 3 kiddos and would die for them, yet I was slowly killing myself with vodka. Crazy. It took physical scares to make me realize the extent I was hurting myself. I am 33 days sober now and I had to realize that I needed to start with *ME* first. My family would reap the benefits from my sobriety.
Keep putting yourself first in your journey, and your wife and sweet little kiddo will enjoy Daddy in the way your heart truly wishes.
Keep coming back. We’re here to listen and support you.
I will not drink with y’all today
I have 3 kiddos and would die for them, yet I was slowly killing myself with vodka. Crazy. It took physical scares to make me realize the extent I was hurting myself. I am 33 days sober now and I had to realize that I needed to start with *ME* first. My family would reap the benefits from my sobriety.
Keep putting yourself first in your journey, and your wife and sweet little kiddo will enjoy Daddy in the way your heart truly wishes.
Keep coming back. We’re here to listen and support you.
I will not drink with y’all today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 5
Thank you all for the welcome and support. I'm really happy to be here.
I have been honest with my doctor and have had bloodwork done which came back normal. Just waiting on an MRI and an appointment with the neurologist.
I have been honest with my doctor and have had bloodwork done which came back normal. Just waiting on an MRI and an appointment with the neurologist.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Originally Posted by NoEinstein 
Thank you all for the welcome and support. I'm really happy to be here.
I have been honest with my doctor and have had bloodwork done which came back normal. Just waiting on an MRI and an appointment with the neurologist.
I have been honest with my doctor and have had bloodwork done which came back normal. Just waiting on an MRI and an appointment with the neurologist.
Stay close and lean on us.
We are here for you.
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