OT/Dealing w/unwanted gift
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OT/Dealing w/unwanted gift
OK, folks, I need some insight and wisdom here, please:
My father and his wife recently got an Instant Pot and think it's the bee's knees. He decided to send one to my sister and one to me, too. I was not especially excited b/c I don't NEED or WANT it. I dutifully read up on it online and didn't find anything to change my mind about that. But I thought well, I'll use it a handful of times to make him happy, then give it away--he lives far away and won't know, and so his feelings won't be hurt. He means well, and that's the main thing.
Anyway, the damn thing arrived on Friday and I finally opened it today. Good god, it is HUGE! It barely fits on my countertop underneath the cupboards. The steam vent is 4 inches from the underside of the cupboard. I can't pull it out far enough to get the vent out from under the cupboard b/c the countertop is not that wide! I suppose I can turn it 180 degrees, so it's backwards, but how convenient is that?
I have had to rearrange my lower cabinets b/c I only have one cabinet tall enough to put the damn thing in!
In short, it is absolutely NOT a convenience and NOT a helpful thing, and is actually a huge pain in my a$$. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I have neither time nor energy to spend learning how to use this thing that I didn't ask for, don't want, and don't care about!
Does that sound like whining? That would be b/c it IS whining. And I am feeling like the world's worst and most ungrateful daughter...
I don't want to lie and PRETEND to use it, but I don't want to REALLY mess w/it either! And I don't want to hurt his feelings. Any input appreciated, even if it's only "suck it up, you ungrateful daughter, and use the damn thing!"
My father and his wife recently got an Instant Pot and think it's the bee's knees. He decided to send one to my sister and one to me, too. I was not especially excited b/c I don't NEED or WANT it. I dutifully read up on it online and didn't find anything to change my mind about that. But I thought well, I'll use it a handful of times to make him happy, then give it away--he lives far away and won't know, and so his feelings won't be hurt. He means well, and that's the main thing.
Anyway, the damn thing arrived on Friday and I finally opened it today. Good god, it is HUGE! It barely fits on my countertop underneath the cupboards. The steam vent is 4 inches from the underside of the cupboard. I can't pull it out far enough to get the vent out from under the cupboard b/c the countertop is not that wide! I suppose I can turn it 180 degrees, so it's backwards, but how convenient is that?
I have had to rearrange my lower cabinets b/c I only have one cabinet tall enough to put the damn thing in!
In short, it is absolutely NOT a convenience and NOT a helpful thing, and is actually a huge pain in my a$$. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I have neither time nor energy to spend learning how to use this thing that I didn't ask for, don't want, and don't care about!
Does that sound like whining? That would be b/c it IS whining. And I am feeling like the world's worst and most ungrateful daughter...
I don't want to lie and PRETEND to use it, but I don't want to REALLY mess w/it either! And I don't want to hurt his feelings. Any input appreciated, even if it's only "suck it up, you ungrateful daughter, and use the damn thing!"
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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If it were me I think I would use a ton of tact and a ton of thanks with honesty. Acknowledge their generosity and thoughtfulness and your appreciation, but gently tell them that it's just not a viable thing for you to keep given your current living situation due to space issues. ..maybe there is someone else in the family that they could give it to that would have the space for it and really enjoy it? Idk..just an idea.
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Originally Posted by honeypig 
"suck it up, you ungrateful daughter, and use the damn thing!"
I've received quite a few gifts I didn't want. I just put them away somewhere then throw them away eventually.
In this case, I think I would actually tell them that I don't have room for it and won't really use it. Perhaps you could return it to the store they bought it from for a refund?
I didnt even know what one was and I like handy dandy kitchen stuff, but I doubt I would use this either (I don't like to leave things out on the counter unless it's something I use all the time).
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I have some friends who worship those things. I would either sell it, or maybe donate it to a shelter? I say that b/c a local church here is doing a small shelter right now, cooking for about 15 a day, and someone gave them one and they love it (my friend of course lol). First call Dad, thank him, offer to return it to him, then proceed.
Just my two cents friend......
Just my two cents friend......
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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My mother sent me (in my 500 SF condo) many things I did not want or need.
She rarely visited.
I just got rid of them as they came in.
I figure, I asked her many times not to buy me stuff because I don't need or have room for them. If she bought stuff that was on her.
One time I told her I gave something away and you would have thought I killed her kitten by the way she acted hurt over it.
The, "I could send it back to you," thing did not solve it. Feelings were hurted. It didn't matter that I wouldn't have used it and the little girl I gave it to was thrilled about having it.
That's when I just started giving them away quietly. There is always someone who will want it.
She rarely visited.
I just got rid of them as they came in.
I figure, I asked her many times not to buy me stuff because I don't need or have room for them. If she bought stuff that was on her.
One time I told her I gave something away and you would have thought I killed her kitten by the way she acted hurt over it.
The, "I could send it back to you," thing did not solve it. Feelings were hurted. It didn't matter that I wouldn't have used it and the little girl I gave it to was thrilled about having it.That's when I just started giving them away quietly. There is always someone who will want it.
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Thank you all for your input thus far--I really felt I had to be honest about it but couldn't see a way to do that w/o being hurtful. I appreciate the ideas you've given me and am feeling better already. I'm sure if I let a day or two go by and mull over the responses I get here, I'll find the best way to handle it without lying about anything.
I remember he told me that he bought the one for my sis and paid to have it shipped himself via UPS and it was $28, so I doubt he will ask me to ship it back. Right now, the donation idea is the front runner, simply b/c sis already has her OWN Instant Pot to deal with and wouldn't need mine. SHE has a much larger and newer kitchen as well as a big island where she can use this item, so it might work out for her...
I remember he told me that he bought the one for my sis and paid to have it shipped himself via UPS and it was $28, so I doubt he will ask me to ship it back. Right now, the donation idea is the front runner, simply b/c sis already has her OWN Instant Pot to deal with and wouldn't need mine. SHE has a much larger and newer kitchen as well as a big island where she can use this item, so it might work out for her...
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Originally Posted by tomsteve
HP, the only thing im really wondering is:
what is an instant pot???
is that like a chia pot plant? pops up pot instantly when watered???
what is an instant pot???
is that like a chia pot plant? pops up pot instantly when watered???
To be honest, I'd heard the name but didn't really know what one was or what it was purported to be able to do until I suddenly found myself the unwitting recipient of one...
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Originally Posted by hopeful4
honeypig....Could you find out where he purchased it and see if there is something you would like to exchange it for that would be more fitting for you?
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my daughter wanted the new Ninja Single Shot coffee pot - the commercials feature that highly annoying Sofia whatever. i was glad to do so. however she noted to me that hey mom, they have a regular full carafe brew one too and it's ON SALE! i told her that even on sale it was a bit pricey.
well bless her heart, she got us one anyways. that part was kind of cute, when we handed over identically sized boxes all wrapped up.......so anyway, hank was like what is wrong with our existing coffee pot??? nothing dear, but you are missing the point. so for awhile i had both on the counter, trying to get used to the NEW one. then finally weaned off the old one, but it in a box and out to the garage.
am i impressed with the new one? no.
does it make coffee? yes. is it BETTER coffee?? no.
have i used any of the other settings, or made a single shot of espresso etc? (it has a setting for that and little flip down mug holder. except we don't have any mugs BIG ENOUGH for the amount it spits out, as i tested it with just water.....). NO.
however since my daughter lives close and has a higher likelihood of seeing my kitchen counters, i'm stuck with the stupid thing. saying no or refusing a gift from my 34 yr old kid is still something i can't do......sigh.
it also can be preset for start time, but i don't trust it. i would still want to check on it, and have an alarm set.
well bless her heart, she got us one anyways. that part was kind of cute, when we handed over identically sized boxes all wrapped up.......so anyway, hank was like what is wrong with our existing coffee pot??? nothing dear, but you are missing the point. so for awhile i had both on the counter, trying to get used to the NEW one. then finally weaned off the old one, but it in a box and out to the garage.
am i impressed with the new one? no.
does it make coffee? yes. is it BETTER coffee?? no.
have i used any of the other settings, or made a single shot of espresso etc? (it has a setting for that and little flip down mug holder. except we don't have any mugs BIG ENOUGH for the amount it spits out, as i tested it with just water.....). NO.
however since my daughter lives close and has a higher likelihood of seeing my kitchen counters, i'm stuck with the stupid thing. saying no or refusing a gift from my 34 yr old kid is still something i can't do......sigh.
it also can be preset for start time, but i don't trust it. i would still want to check on it, and have an alarm set.
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And you know, my dad has a history of giving me really great and useful gifts, now that I think about it. He gave me a Coleman cooler that lasted FOREVER. He bought me tires for my car when I was like 19 or 20 and had no money. He bought me shovels and rakes, pots and pans, practical helpful wonderful things that I NEEDED.
He showed up at my house w/canned soup and oranges when I was in college and had a bad cold. He is a good man, w/a good heart, doing the best he knows how.
So this is the first real strikeout in all those years, I think...maybe I can use this as a bit of humor to make the conversation easier!
ETA: Holy carpfish, I just realized that the set of silverware I have been using every day for 40 years is one of the things I got as a high school graduation gift from him!
He showed up at my house w/canned soup and oranges when I was in college and had a bad cold. He is a good man, w/a good heart, doing the best he knows how.
So this is the first real strikeout in all those years, I think...maybe I can use this as a bit of humor to make the conversation easier!
ETA: Holy carpfish, I just realized that the set of silverware I have been using every day for 40 years is one of the things I got as a high school graduation gift from him!
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Well....I am going to be the one out, on this, I think.....
If it were me....I would use it one time to make bean or vegetable soup.....
I would thank him, profusely.....and let him know that it worked "beautifully".....(that won't be a lie)....
then, I would donate it to a shelter or church....or give away on that website, where people just want stuff. (I wouldn't tell him, unless he asks you about it).
That way, he will get his "feel good" from giving you something....and, you won't be lying, and someone will get to enjoy the benefits of it (it won't go to waste)....
If it were me....I would use it one time to make bean or vegetable soup.....
I would thank him, profusely.....and let him know that it worked "beautifully".....(that won't be a lie)....
then, I would donate it to a shelter or church....or give away on that website, where people just want stuff. (I wouldn't tell him, unless he asks you about it).
That way, he will get his "feel good" from giving you something....and, you won't be lying, and someone will get to enjoy the benefits of it (it won't go to waste)....
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LOL. I am laughing out loud because I would be over the moon if I was gifted one of those! I keep looking at different ones, trying to see what might best suit both our needs and budget!
In terms of you ... if they sell that particular model at WalMart, you could return it there for store credit even without a receipt. (You would have to have ID though). Target might have the same policy. It's worth checking into?
A think a simple, "it's wonderful, and I'm very thankful/appreciative, but I just simply don't have the space for this where I am at right now" would cover all the bases?
In terms of you ... if they sell that particular model at WalMart, you could return it there for store credit even without a receipt. (You would have to have ID though). Target might have the same policy. It's worth checking into?
A think a simple, "it's wonderful, and I'm very thankful/appreciative, but I just simply don't have the space for this where I am at right now" would cover all the bases?
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