Rockfish75

Hi
Yesterday and today have been tough.
Cravings off the scale. Still experiencing them. I know they will pass.
If I allow myself the time and keep moving forwards

One thing struck me today. I was talking to a chap who I used to share time for a beer with and the negativity that he gave off you know "You won't last" "Just a matter of time" stuff like that came back to haunt me at my lowest ebb.

People like this care not for you but for themselves.
It is with this mind that I shall avoid this person and any other person that has such negativity about them.

I need and want only the positive and supportive around me.

I will leave with this

"When you're going through hell, keep going."

Best wishes

Dave

Yad2LohoclaOn

Hi Dave. sounds like your mind is in the right place. You experienced first hand and made a great decision to surround yourself with positive energy.

I will not drink with y’all today

Anna

Yes, absolutely, Dave! You do not need the negativity around you. And, you will find lots of positive support here.

Danielle423

I have found that the people that make such horrible comments make those comments so they feel better about their own drinking problem. If they see you fail then that just gives them more fuel for their denial.

Nothing helps you see who your true friends are then getting sober. Keep moving forward, you can do it and it will start to get easier the more time you have to experience all the positives of being sober.

Rockfish75

Hi Yad
I feel blessed I am so determined to just do the things I want to do.
Regardless of cravings, negativity or that destabilising voice in the far corner of my head. I will not succumb today.
It's a time thing the further away you get from it the less you'll dwell on it. At least I believe this.
Dave

Rockfish75

Thanks Anna
I get that good feeling every time I log in.
Thanks
Dave

rascalwhiteoak

Hi Dave. I enjoy your thoughtful posts. Don't allow any breathing room to that destabilizing voice — forward always!

TheToddman

One of my fave quotes. Ever.

Thank you sir.

Churchill, for the win

Offthemast

Day 28 and my cravings seem to be getting worse. Hoping they'll maxout soon.

Verdantia

Hey, Dave! I agree that positivity is the way to go; negative feelings can start a vicious spiral which I have certainly experienced and is very detrimental to recovery. Thanks for your thoughtful posts.

Rockfish75

Hi Verdantia
For perspective I am on day 29 today.
Stay focused. Stay strong.
We will do this
Best wishes
Dave

Dee74

Eaglelizard

As the scales have begun to fall from my eyes over the past 360 days (but who's counting?) I've discovered that people I thought were my allies and supporters just wanted me to remain handicapped and trapped in my old, familiar patterns of dysfunction. Often these people were running away from their own problems, whether that be alcohol, career disappointment, relationship issues or otherwise. Maybe I make them feel better about themselves. I don't tend to share my plans and dreams with these people as they are likely to laugh in disbelief or find some other way to ridicule my somewhat far-fetched aspirations. But then again, I don't really care anymore and that is pretty liberating.

FlawedNFntastic

I'm 50 days sober today, and I keep hearing, "Well, if you managed to quit, you can't have had a REAL alcohol problem." The scrapper in me wants to explain just how REAL my problem is and just how REAL recovery is, but I know there's no point in that. So I smile and nod and come on here and read all the hope and compassion that are handed out here on a regular basis. I think this is more real than those naysayers we encounter.

Rockfish75

Hi FnF
It must be a common feeling. I feel like a fraud because "It's been too easy"
Yet then the realisation sinks in I'm craving again.
It's NOT easy.
I'm NOT a fraud.
Today I'm not going to drink.
Being positive makes it easier
Saving your strength for the "low days" because they do happen
Stay strong, keep busy
All the best
Dave

Dropsie

Great thread -- thank you.

tekink

They can last, hang in there. Everyone is different.

For me personally thinking easy street is around the corner can lead to stress that has caused me to give up around the two month mark three different times (I'll have a year in 9 days).

Personally the first 6 months were pretty much hell for me.

Around 4 months I had this feeling like I'd tried to swim across a lake that was quite a bit further than what I could handle. When I'd look across the lake I'd feel despair but when I turned and looked back to shore I'd see a storm brewing and surely I couldn't make it back. There was nothing I could do but push forward and hope for the best.

edit: I don't have a lot of friends, I did have some drinking associates but really they are all just regular guests at my bar. Some ask to hang out and congratulate me, others don't. My close friends are all supportive, I've only had one family member (not close family) try to tell me I didn't need to worry about it. I just calmly commented about my dr. telling me I was killing myself and about the black tar goo that came out of my back side every single morning for at least a year.

wayforward

I consider myself fairly empathetic, but I have trouble understanding how people can be so unsupportive about an addiction. I've heard lines like that from my own mother. It's so disheartening and feels like a conspiracy against you. But I suppose it's what makes the strength needed to keep going so valuable.

That kind of strength takes you places. Keep at it.

Rockfish75

Hi WayForward
Quite possibly a reflection of their own failure
trying to reflect it back at others
The most important thing is you. Yeah
Rewire that brainbox to do what you know you have to do.
Dave

tekink

It's very simple, they are also addicts and it makes them feel bad about themselves when they see you quit.

It's a takes one to know one kind of thing.