YCDT

Hey all.

Popped in because I am alone and that is the worst time for me when I want a drink. If I am lonely, I almost feel like alcohol will keep me occupied and happy.

Anyway, I havent drank in about a month. But...I do that sometimes. Sometimes I drink intermittently, sometimes weekly. At the most I drink twice a week, but rarely. My hangovers are too bad to drink more than that.

Ive had mixed opinions on whether I would be considered an alcoholic or not. I can go without drinking for a while, but when I do end up having ONE drink, I turn into a different person and I cant stop drinking until I black out and pass out.

So, what say you? Am I an alcoholic? What makes someone an alcoholic anyway? Is there like an actual definition of one? A perception? A symptom? An action?

Dee74

I think your drinking is definitely a problem or you would be here asking the question

I couldn't stop once I started - that held true whether I was a occasional binge drinker, or an all day everyday drinker... and I moved through both over 20 years.

If you have a problem, you need to fix it and the best way I know to do that is stop drinking

grayghost1965

If you think you have a problem, you probably do. Clinically, as far as I know, no one on this site is qualified to diagnose you, especially over the internet.

If you are concerned, I would recommend visiting your primary care provider or health department and let them guide/help you.

YCDT

Well, I reckon I have been on this site the past few months because I do think I am an alcoholic. Some people, however, have mentioned to me that they do not think that I am one *yet* but could easily be on the way to being one. My issue is this: someone gave me an amazingly awesome quote that I would like to mention...

YCDT

"Alcohol is the only vice that once you stop, you're considered to have a problem. Every other vice is only considered a problem when you're actually using"?

That's how I feel EXACTLY. Nobody thinks I have a problem, but I know I do. I feel like if I try to get help, it will expose my problem....and I dont think I could deal with the repercussions of the discovery.

Dee74

Thats some advanced addictive thinking there

If you don't get help, and your problem gets worse, the cat will be out of the bag anyway.

I'd rather take an active role in my recovery now rather than have to react to a life destroying problem later.

YCDT

Okay, maybe its warped thinking, but I dont think my problem will get discovered because I dont drink in front of other people. I only drink on my own or with my husband

grayghost1965

That may be for now, but I will guarantee you that the problem will escalate - you have the advantage now of having control of your issue. Don't wait until it's too late.

YCDT

Does anyone know what kind of help can I get without actually going to a rehab center?

TheToddman

Rehab was actually a life saver for me, however intensive outpatient therapy is something that would be a great alternative. It allows for maintaining day-to-day commitments (such as work) while providing a consistent and focused therapy regime. If I recall correctly you meet with a counselor 3-4 times a week. I'd definitely recommend investigating that further.

grayghost1965

Your primary care provider/local health department would be the best resources to check with.

YCDT

I dont think so. I have had very extreme anxiety and my doctor is very reluctant to prescribe me anything for it. She says I have so see a therapist if I need to change any medications, which is a problem for me due to my health anxiety.

ScottFromWI

You will always be able to come up with reasons ( aka excuses ) to not get help, addiction is the master of that bait and switch. I can't do rehab because....I can't see my doctor because.....I can't see my therapist because.....I won't go to recovery meetings because.....and so it goes.

Bottom line, only you can decide if you are an alcoholic or not, and only you can decide to take action. This forum is a great place to find support and understanding, and also a good place to learn how others moved forward once they decided to quit. I hope we can help you make a good choice too.

Dee74

You;re missing that alcoholism is progressive tho...i.e. it gets worse.
My first ten years there was little to set me apart from other heavy drinkers.

The last ten years I became the neighborhood bum.

I'm not saying that will happen to you, but I am saying don't expect to keep a lid on your problem just because you've been lucky so far.

If you're an alcoholic you'll need to take some kind of action that results in you not drinking anymore.

D

Berrybean

Lol. Sounds like you're looking for the small print so you can find an opt-out clause.

Well, I can say that I have gone for 3 years and 11 months without drinking, but I know that if i decided to take a first drink today, I would quickly turn into a different person and likely wouldnt stop drinking until I black out or behave in a way that I would find shameful the next day.

Alcoholics CAN choose not to drink. That's why there are plenty of sober alcoholics. BUT once alcohol is taken then all bets are off. Sure, some occasions wouldn't turn to chaos, but it's like a game of Russian roulette. Who knows when the chaos will hit.

Also, without alcohol and not working on their recovery, the natural state of the sober alcoholic is restless, irritable and discontent. As you yourself found out. Drinking will inevitably lead to self-destruction and misery. And being sober without any work on recovery will be miserable as well. And that's why in here people talk so much about Recovery. Because that is the key to making sobriety achievable, sustainable, comfortable and one day preferable to drinking.

BB

ReadyAtLast

It doesn't matter if you think you're an alcoholic or not or what other people think of you. Certainly no one here can tell you if you are or not or what stage you might be at. Personally I don't like labels.

What matters is if alcohol is causing a problem in your life. It obviously is otherwise you wouldn't have signed up to this site and come on here. The only solution is to quit drinking and we can help you with that.

I ask myself does alcohol cause a problem in my life -YES
Have I tried to moderate/cut down/miss days/cut out drinks/control my drinking etc -YES
Is it safer and better for me NOT to drink - YES
Do I want to stop drinking - YES
So I need and want to stop drinking and this site has helped me to do that.

Do you want to stop drinking?

ubntubnt

hi YCDT, you remind me of myself a lot 3 to 5 years ago. Even today I tend to drink no so much midweek as I have a job that can't see me walking into a meeting room wit ht eyes in the back of my head.

3 years ago I used to drink maybe a bottle of wine on one or maybe two days midweek and stop. Then at weekends drink heavily on a Friday or Saturday and sometimes both, rarely to blackout but definitely way too much. At that time I was searching online for definitions of alcoholism, doing the online quizzes that tell you if you have a problem or not. Like you, I didn't really have to ask, I knew deep down I had a problem.

These days, until a week ago things had progressed. I still drank only one or twice mid week but one day was a bottle of wine and the other was much as I could depending on what time I had to start work the following day. Often I just skipped work the following day. The weekend drinking started Friday afternoon and finished Sunday night. Sometimes around the clock, like a week ago. I came close to killing myself and my wife threatened to leave me.

Thats how this goes. Its nasty and progressive. If I drink again I will die and my family will be devastated. I wish I listened to myself 5 years ago, it would have saved me a lot of pain and humiliation.

Debating with yourself whether you are an alcoholic is dangerous. Thats your addiction talking. You already know you are. Normal drinkers don't black out at all, let alone frequently. Your AV is looking for a way to justify continuing. My strong advice is to quit for good.

YCDT

So. Outside of a walk-in rehab type program, what options are there?

biminiblue

How about AA? There are also Outpatient programs that some insurance will cover.

Talk to your insurance or primary care physician.

You can also spend a lot of time here reading. There are a lot of resources right on this site if you look around. Keep reading and don't pick up a drink.

ReadyAtLast

Do you want to stop drinking? If you want to you will try any way and every way till you find something that works. some people do rehab, some do AA, some do AVRT, SMART recovery, some just use SR and other sites. Read, try things out see what works for you.