Unsteady

So I screwed up and I got drunk tonight. My wife and I went and got a new car too day which we were both so happy about. And my in laws wanted to take us out to celebrate which I knew before hand would mean alcohol would be invoked. I thought I could be strong but when beer got order. I just couldn’t help my self and i drank and now as I write this I’m beyond drunk. And I’m miserable. I called my grandfather ( I always call someone different when I’m drunk ). He was a alcoholic for probably 40 years and just recently got clean. He acted like he didn’t want anything to do with me. He’s always been like a hero to me. I’ve always looked up to him. And he acted like he didn’t want anything to do with me. We’ve had bad blood for awhile. Do to when we worked together. But I’ve tried to mend it with him. But I fear that he will never forgive me. I just feel like I’ll never get him to love me agin . And it’s really depressing. I just need someone to talk to. I feel so alone sometimes. Thanks to who ever reads this. God bless

Dee74

Hey Unsteady

sorry you drank but I know you can get back on track.

I wouldn' worry too much about your grandfather - newly sober and getting a drunk call would make me a little stand offish too, y'know?

Ring him back again when you're sober and I bet it'll be different

D.

Unsteady

Thanks dee. I just had a really great day and I felt great sober but when I screws up it was like a major hit to my ego. But I’m gonna start over tomorrow and do the best I can. I just crave my grandfathers love and I feel like I’ll never get it ever again.

Dee74

Booze amplifies despair.
Things will look different tomorrow, I bet

D

Unsteady

Thank you so much. I feel like I just need to get away. I think I’m gonna plan a trip to Atlanta my wife and I can drive the new car up and eat a great meal and just have a weekend to reconnect and be together without booze. I think that will help

Dee74

doing normal things, even special normal things, helps
Given how you relapsed tho, any chance of a restaurant that doesn't serve booze ?
D

Unsteady

Unfortunately being in the south there is beer or liquor at pretty much every restaurant. I just need to be strong and resist my AV. With my wife’s help I know I can do it

ProfessorD

Sorry you slipped up and feel down. It's especially sad since you drank because you were in a good mood and celebrating! I did that all the time too. Don't beat yourself up. I agree that the family relationships will seem clearer when you're sober. But perhaps you also need to tell more people you are sober so they don't "treat" you to something so tempting next time? Just a thought

But the good news is you are here posting already. You'll get it next time!