redrose0729

Today began early this morning with my bf's sister calling me asking if I had seen him and I told her no. He had taken money out of his mother's purse and snuck out of the house to go and buy crack. When he runs out of money he goes over to a friend of mines house in the city he lives in and calls me. He's crying feeling lost , saying he doesn't deserve anything, very depressed. Finally saying he wants to check hisself into the hospital for rehab. He wanted me to come and take him there but, I couldn't I had to work. My friend and I keep talking to him and when I last talked to him he was about to leave and check hisself into the VA hospital. That was around 4 pm , and I didn't hear anything else from him untill his sister called me an hour ago and tells me he's in Jail. He got picked up for public intox. His bail is $200 but I cannot and will not bail him out. I am headed to his mothers in the morning to get his car picked up and that will cost her $75 . I think he was in a park or something asleep when they picked him up. I don't know. In the past few weeks he has been getting worse he has been stealing out of his families purses and then he spent his $300 check on crack weekend before last. He was at my house then and I told him he had to go home. This past Saturday night he tried to take money from me but I hid it I was supposed to spend the night at his mother's house but after I discoved he had taken my car out without my permission which is something I had already told him never to do again I just got my things together and left and went home. I didn't yell I told him that he had crossed one of my boudries and I was going home. That is something I have never did before but I felt I had to. I have also never told him he had to go home. I am working so hard on making my life and I cannot allow him to drag me down. I am working 2 jobs now . I am hoping I can be there in court with him tommorrow and I had the jail nurse put him on a suicide watch. I love him very much I know that he is the only one that can help his self right now I just pray to God that this will cause him to hit his bottom. Pray for me as I go through tommorrow thankfully I am off work. But I still have some work at home to do for my 2nd job and I am going to try to get it done tonight. Pray for him tonight also. I am working at not being a codie anymore and building myself up also there are no alanon meetings in the town I live in isn't that crazy I acctually went to find out about them. Any words of wisdom will be sooo welcomed here. Thanks you guys I don't know how I could have made it this far without all of you and this place. Oh and I have my local library trying to get me Melonie Batties book Co-Dependant No More for me to read so pray that will come in real soon. Thanks again
Rose

Ann

It's hard to watch as they do this to themselves, but I think you are doing well by putting some space between you. He's on his journey and we never know when it will end, and it rarely does until they have had enough. He's paying the consequences for his actions, and that may be the best thing that could be happening to him right now, so don't feel too bad.

Sending hugs and prayers that today will bring you peace.

Hugs
Ann

splendra

((((((REDROSE)))))))

I wish you well and your b/f too. Don't forget to take care of you!!!!

cwohio

rose - you are strong and my prayers go out to you and yours!

Cadence57

****{RedRose}}} You're doing great
Sending you strength and peace

redrose0729

Thanks guys I really needed the support . I just got home from a long day I went to his court hearing and they would not let me in because I was wearing shorts which that irritated me because my shorts were almost to my knees and they let a girl in there with a skin tight minie skirt that was up to her thighs but what could I do. Court started at 1pm and he did not walk out until around 5pm his mom went and got his car and he will go to work tomorrow I hope he still has one the owner comes back from Korea tomorrow night. He says he is very sorry for all the hurt he has caused me and his mother but he doesn't know what to do. He's scared and I understand that fear but.... at the same time I cannot go on if things are going to continue . I think the past 36 hours has done him some good but I know it wasnt good enough he bought a six pack tonight shortly after he got out of jail. He is no longer pulling away from me he is seeing the stong me that is growing stonger and deciding to start my life and he is drawing closer to it. I think me acctually walking out on him this past weekend hit him harder than I thought. In the past he only mentioned going to rehab when he had done something terribly terribly bad like before he and I got back together he came home several times after being missing for 3 days with busted windows in his car and beat up really bad. Maybe its just false hope I don't know but right now the only thing I can do is carry on with my life and if he wants help I will be supportive of it I just cannot do it for him. I read Standing Strongs message and I am prepared financilly to move on without him but I guess I am not yet ready to give up on my dreams with him. I love him but at this point the only thing I can do is be the best me I can be and work on my life. Thanks for listening (or reading) I got alot of work to catch up on gonna be a long night and a very early morning.
Rose

redrose0729

Oh by the way he plead guilty and he has 60 days to pay a $291 fine . I was hoping they would order sometype of rehab for him but no such luck. Oh well. Its probally better if he goes in on his own free will anyway.
Rose