Kay Kay

She lied again. Why do I let it get to me! Last night my mother called and told me that she was drinking,(like I couldn't tell). She said, "OK, let me have it". I told her I had nothing to say about it, she was only hurting herself. I acted so cool even though I was crushed. She said she was pouring out the vodka, but I didn't believe her. Tonight she is drinking again. It would be so much easier if we weren't so close. She doesn't remember how sick she was 2 years ago. She had a nose bleed yesterday and I told her that it was related to liver disfunction. She said that it was allergies. It kills me to think about life without her!

The more she drinks, the meaner I am to my AH. I told him today that our daughter thinks he is going to hell because he doesn't go to church with us anymore and because he drinks everyday. He didn't drink tonight!!! WOW don't I feel better (NOT). He stayed in the bedroom all night, away from us.

I'm going to find a meeting to go to tomorrow. Today I realized that 90% of my day is preoccupied with thoughts of my husband and mothers drinking. How healthy is that? I used to be so carefree and fun. I want that again.

Looking forward to a better tomorrow,
Kay Kay

Cadence57

I think that realizing how miserable I'd become (because of my enmeshment and obsession with my boyfriend's disease) was a huge turning point to me. I went from being a happy, positive thinking and relatively carefree person to this sad, depressed, constantly worried shell of a human being. Every thought was about him and his drinking and how I could "make it stop" and how I could "make him see" and and and and and and.....
Thank God for this forum, it's members and their collective understanding, experience. and guidance.
You can create your own reality and it does not have to revolve around their abuse of alcohol - how cool is that?

Gabe

Hey Kay, you can be carefree and fun again.Wanting it is the first step in getting it. It's our choice to wrap ourselves up in their drinking and it's effects, or to let it go and get on with living our lives.