Canuckleman45

Hi everybody. I took awhile off after my last post that got a little more attention than I expected. LOL. Hopefully we can leave it a that, I didn't mean to cause that much ****. Anyhooooooooo how is everyone? I'm feeling kind of weird. Almost like I've matured? Grown up? Does this make sense? Im 41, and just don't want to bother with the booze. Its all around me, but I just don't care anymore. I just go about my business at any type of gathering, function and have my pop, water, whatever. Im done worrying. Some people say Im more serious, a buddy called me an ******. lol. And Im good with this. No cravings, no withdrawal. I just don't care about it. Is this good or is it going to be bad?

entropy1964

Hi Canuckle

Haha. I try not to read the 'comparison' threads....sometimes I do when I see a particular poster putting up slews of 'what did you drink' 'how much did you drink' 'what was your worst drinking experience''why haven't I lost weight'....etc etc. I think in general comparisons, while normal, are not useful. So why do it? Useful is what I'm looking for......and I'm sure you've realized that you read what you relate to, ask yourself why certain things irritate you (because if it does it might actually be you, not them) and let the rest go.

I dunno if your ambivalence is a good thing or a bad thing. You're very early in recovery. I know that I have taken an 'f-it' I'm good attitude in the past and that was not healthy. When I'm saying 'f-it' I'm usually thinking 'f-me'. And the post, again, seems to be making comparisons. 'They are thinking or saying this about me. F-it, I'm good'. I would look at that more closely.

I know for me that my addiction was my mal adaptive coping mechanism. In order to stay stopped I have to learn to cope with all the crap external to me. Other people, places and things. Not to mention cope with all the stuff going on inside me. I need a program to do that. And I have to do it daily in order to keep my thinking and acting healthy.

I believe that having to ask if you are ok is a sign you need to take a more introspective look. Nothing to freak out about, just seek a broader path of acceptance maybe?

DarklingSong

Good to see you back!
I will let the more experienced folk comment on your strategy......but good to hear you staying away from alcohol.

Nonsensical

Sounds good to me.
Also unusual after such a relatively short time of sobriety.
Maybe it won't last.
Maybe it will last.

Seems very liberating. What are you doing with your newfound freedom?

Canuckleman45

Im still nowhere near being good. My Lord this is hard. All I can do is wake up and start the day. How the day ends is what matters. Some have ended in dissappointment, some have ended with happiness. Darkling, Ive relapsed a few times. But tomorrow the sun still rises

DarklingSong

Don't stop trying......thats the main thing!

DontRemember

No offense,but you kinda remind me of when I signed up here 'looking for help'. I went another few(3?)years.We're around the same age, and I F'n didn't listen and dug myself a whole new set of troubles(they've been handled now), I hope you listen and 'catch on' quicker than I did.

Canuckleman45

Thanks Dontremember. I hear what you're saying. thanks. I get a lot of advice here. a lot of smacks upside the head too. Dee is great for a head smack every now and again. lol But seriously thank you.

DontRemember

Dee tried to offer me support when I first joined here as best one can..He's a stand up guy,hell everyone here is great!. It's really your road to travel,bud.

Dee74

I honestly think the cultural divide kicks in sometimes - what citizens of one country might see as head smacks I see as not 'blowing smoke', straight talking and generally being a 'mate'....

I hope one day you might look back and see that I wasn't such a cranky old Aussie after all

I wish you well on your trip, on working out a recovery plan, and on coming back having stayed 100% sober.

I really believe thats achievable - if we're prepared to do what it takes and when we accept there's more at stake than meets the eye.

It's the first drink that starts the carnage, not the last.

Never take that first drink and all will be well

D

TYG2

I'm so confused is this the Canukleman who was going to Mexico? It's late here and I have insomnia 11 nights now. If so why are you posting this? To confirm you're sober and will not drink in Mexico...I don't understand. Or maybe I should take another sleeping pill.

Canuckleman45

Im not 100% sober at all. I am struggling everyday. Im just trying whatever I can until something works, and something will. I haven't drank for 2 days, however.

Dee74

I didn't mean to confuse anyone.

I still believe you could do this trip sober Canuckleman.

D

Gabe1980

Hey Canuckle, it's good to see you back. You might have stirred things up a bit but I think some of us found the responses to your post really helpful. I did. I helped me concentrate on similarities between us all and the sense of community here.

Have an amazing time away and keep working, working, working at staying sober. Good luck! Gabe x

Done4today

Welcome back canuckleman. Never give up trying to get sober. You can do it. It seemed impossible and undesirable to me until I was desperate enough to completely surrender to the fact I was alcoholic and needed help. I use AA as my recovery program, but there are many others that are just as successful.

I consider myself an alcoholic because once I start drinking I can't stop and don't want to stop. It only takes me two beers for my allergy to kick in and off to the races. And I never lost a job, house, investment, banking account, or any other material thing. So I considered myself functional. After 9 months or so, I had some true clarity in my head and realized how badly I was fooling myself.

Your posts seem to express blunt honesty with some real stubbornness. These qualities can be both assets and liabilities. Hopefully you get a plan that works.

Good luck

Nonsensical

Also don't discount the irritability that can come with being freshly sober. I was loaded with it. People here (including Dee) would respond to my posts and I would attach all kinds of meanings to their responses that they probably never intended. I muttered screw you, I'm done with you idiots at my computer monitor dozens of times as I logged off this forum.

So glad I kept coming back.

Canuckleman45

How do I make a recovery plan?

Nonsensical

Here is a very simple plan:

The next time I feel like drinking I will _______________ instead.

Fill in the blank. Make it something you like to do (or want to do because you know it's good for you, like go to the gym). The commit yourself to doing it. Take the action. You can read a thousand recipes, but you're not a chef until you cook dinner.

Longer term your plan can increase in complexity, but I recommend getting out to 90 days or so first so your body (brain) has time to do some healing and chemical rebalancing.

Canada wasn't built in a day, and neither is a happy sober life.

ScottFromWI

If you have not read this thread, I'd read through it for some specific info about the various recovery plans out there.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))

Above and beyond that, you plan for recovery just like you would plan for anything else in your life - set a goal and make a systematic plan to achieve it. If you want to build a house, you start with choosing as style, then a blueprint, then get all the necessary materials and labor. You then start from the ground up and follow all of the necessary steps until it's finished.

Sobriety is no different - first you need to set your goal ( being sober ). Then you decide how you want to go about it ( meetings, self-paced, therapy, rehab, etc ). Then you set time each day, maybe multiple times a day at first, to do whatever steps or work are necessary to carry out your plan. Write it all down on a piece of paper if you have to or put it in your electronic calendar.

Done4today

This is great! First you start by being willing to do whatever it takes. Then you ask someone that has the experience. Lastly, you do what you're told and DON'T PICK UP A DRINK EVER!