kirstie30

So im not proud one bit but it helps me to talk about how destructive i was...

I held down a good job have a lovely home husband and 2 kids and still found time to become an alcoholic!
Even before work i would sneak a wine or whiskey in a coffee cup. This is 7 am or so when my husband left. I would dri k sometimes on the journey to work ... yes drink driving ! Disgusting behaviour i was so ill. Drink as soon as i finished work all while doing daily routine like picking kids up taking them to football etc . Every night a blur every morning full of regret and hate for myself.
Now i wake up knowing im living life as i should not fearing id done something wrong or failing or letting my boys down. Its hard some days to imagine life without alcohol but i keep reminding myself my boys and my life are more impiryant than the bottle. I laugh more now i also cry more but at least i feel now with alcohol i didnt. I am doing better at work and even now i enjoy weddings parties etc with no alcohol its amazing .xxxxx

tomls

I would sit in my garage and drink and drug and watch television. Sports or whatever as long as I had drink and or drugs until it was time to eat something then go in the house and pass out. Every day, over and over and over. So grateful to be free from that world! Now I really don't have a routine. Just living life as it comes to me.

Rodney18

I’d wait til no family was around
Then I’d head to the store for a 12 pack
Then maybe 5 hours later I’d go get another
Then either a bar or at home with stereo blasting and being obnoxious on Facebook
Then more beer



Now- family time and laughter and eating well and doing outside work
Building things
Research for writing

Hell of a change

Ringo123

Mostly maintenance drinking after work M-Th and all out drunkenness over the weekend. The ol' "work hard-play hard" macho mindset (I was a female in a male dominated profession).

Now! A life beyond my wildest imagination. I go to work, take care of household responsibilities, exercise, eat healthy, go to meetings, sponsor, be sponsored, make time for God and travel about 3x a year.

firstymer

I had a big plastic cup that I got at a Minnesota Twins baseball game 10 years ago. Pay $15 for a beer, and they let you keep the 32 oz. plastic souvenir cup.

I would come home from work, fill the cup with ice, rum and Coke. Gulp it down. And repeat once or twice. Or three times. Until I passed out. Then I would do the same thing the next day. Over. And over. Year after year.

Such a waste of a life.

TheRestisMine

I would go to the corner store and get a flask of Smirnoff and two bottles of soda or juice. Drink down or pour out the soft drinks, top them back up with the vodka and sip throughout the day in my office.
Now I read a lot (5 books in 41 sober days). I find reading really keeps me focused. I started developing a website as well, it's a social site for those in recovery to share, with pride, the things they are accomplishing sober. It's just about done.
When I finish with that I intend to try my hand at Spanish. I find keeping my mind occupied is best.

least

I drank as soon as I woke up to stop the shakes from withdrawal.

Now I wake up feeling good and ready for the day. What a difference!

rascalwhiteoak

A standard day would begin right after work, stop by the store on the way home, then bang out some modest attempt at exercise to ease my conscious for what I was about to do to myself for the rest of the night. Sometimes the day would begin with liquid lunch, happy hour in late afternoon, sometimes a little liquor in the morning coffee during the holidays (because Christmas, amirite?). Weekends were the same but more starting earlier. Eating a proper dinner would have just slowed the whole process down, so the night usually ended consuming too much crap food before passing out in bed.

The next morning, do forensics to see how the previous night ended. Because it's always fun to see what you've been up to!

Now, actual exercise after work, a healthy dinner (or at least not a terrible one ), a clean house, great financials, and a clear mind. Basic adulting 101.

Outonthetiles

Dark, bad times. I don't want to ever go back there.

notrealname333

usually about a half of a 1.75 of vodka. internet **** posting. waking up the next day feeling really stupid.

sfrn1968

A few beers in office before leaving work, just to relax on the way home. Then a stop at the convenient store for a 12 pack on the way home. Rinse, repeat.....for 25 years. Now I dont plan my day around drinking anymore.

NoahJ

Come home from work at 530, drink rum and cokes while doing chores or playing Goldeneye until I either 1) passed out, 2) fell asleep, or 3) finished a whole quart and felt bad enough to stop for the night.

When I started sh—-Ing blood, I switched to vodka and juice.

That was everyday for a long time, until my hands and feet went numb and started twitching.

Now I have 2 small kids who take all the time and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Ken0331

At first I drank like a normal drinker. I didn't start drinking until my mid-late 20s, and could have a glass of wine with dinner, or a scotch with a cigar, and be fine. Never was a fan of beer. But I could just have one drink and not fret for more. A normal bottle of wine could sit in the fridge for two weeks.

Then I began having more on weekends, b/c I wanted the buzz of being drunk.

Somewhere along the way I crossed the line to uncontrolled drinking. Once I started to drink, there was no telling if I'd stop at 2-3 or finish the whole bottle - of hard liquor.

Then, at the end, I simply sat at home and drank fully intending to get completely sh-t-faced, black out, pass out drunk. My wife had divorced me by that point, and Ken could REALLY drink the way Ken wanted to - with no one riding my ass over it.

I eventually got to where my drinking pattern drug my spirit and my soul to a very dark, lonely, isolated place. And they call alcohol a depressant . . . no kidding.


So glad I don't have to live like that anymore.

Rar

At first I would have a couple of drinks after work around 5:00 - 6:00. Then it progressed to 3-7 drinks per night until I retired. Once I retired, however, there was no clock. I was on a perpetual weekend. I winter in the warm, sunny south and sitting on my sun porch became a huge trigger where I sat in the sun and relished my drinks. Eventually the few drinks became 8-12 every night. I would usually start around noon (after golf) and drink until around 8:00 - 8:30 when I went to bed. (I'm old, so I go to bed early - LOL). Then the last couple of months, I was feeling so crappy, I didn't want to golf, participate in any activities or even leave the house. I did, however, continue to maintain my drinking schedule. Now, I'm trying to get out more, golfing, etc., but quite frankly in this early stage, would rather be alone. I drink anything and everything (except alcohol) from noon until I go to bed.

LBrain

I used to drink all the time for every occasion and every non-occasion.

Now, I just don't drink.