Today is the first day...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 9
Today is the first day...
Today, I started on the path back to getting and staying alcohol free.
True story: I got injured and they gave me narcotics to control the pain. I was scared of getting addicted so I didn't take them. Instead, vodka was the crutch to get through the rough times. And now, vodka is the thing that I loathe the most.
Because of the pain, sleep would rarely come, except with vodka. I learned to be functional: great job, friends, awesome spouse, and kids. But when it was time to sleep, it was time for vodka; albeit a very measured, specific, controlled amount. Too much vodka meant a less functional morning the next day and that just wasn't acceptable.
Even though I could, I don't have a month or two to step away from my job for treatment. Even though I could, I don't want to be away from my family for treatment. But make no mistake, the desire to quit drinking is very, very strong. It's been too much, too long.
So tonight, I took the first step. I have been drinking 12-13 oz of vodka a night. So, for the next 12 nights, each night I will decrease the amount I drink by 1 oz. When the sun rises on the 13th day, I will start counting the days I'm free.
I didn't know the great folks here until recently but I'm glad I found you. Thanks for the words of encouragement, feedback, and support! One day, I want to be able to do for someone else what you have done for me!
One step at a time... Here we go...
True story: I got injured and they gave me narcotics to control the pain. I was scared of getting addicted so I didn't take them. Instead, vodka was the crutch to get through the rough times. And now, vodka is the thing that I loathe the most.
Because of the pain, sleep would rarely come, except with vodka. I learned to be functional: great job, friends, awesome spouse, and kids. But when it was time to sleep, it was time for vodka; albeit a very measured, specific, controlled amount. Too much vodka meant a less functional morning the next day and that just wasn't acceptable.
Even though I could, I don't have a month or two to step away from my job for treatment. Even though I could, I don't want to be away from my family for treatment. But make no mistake, the desire to quit drinking is very, very strong. It's been too much, too long.
So tonight, I took the first step. I have been drinking 12-13 oz of vodka a night. So, for the next 12 nights, each night I will decrease the amount I drink by 1 oz. When the sun rises on the 13th day, I will start counting the days I'm free.
I didn't know the great folks here until recently but I'm glad I found you. Thanks for the words of encouragement, feedback, and support! One day, I want to be able to do for someone else what you have done for me!
One step at a time... Here we go...
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Congratulations on taking the first step!
Self-tapering is very difficult to do successfully, it sounds easier than it is to do. It's worth a try. Some people manage it.
If it works, what are you going to do to stay sober?
As for being away from your job, could you take 4-5 weeks to heal from surgery? Nobody wants to go into rehab and be away from their family, but sometimes circumstances require it. I am in no way saying that I'm advocating for inpatient rehab for your treatment, just that if you feel you need it, don't take it off the table. It can me done.
I would also suggest telling your plan to a doctor and check in. Withdrawal can be more serious than you realize.
Self-tapering is very difficult to do successfully, it sounds easier than it is to do. It's worth a try. Some people manage it.
If it works, what are you going to do to stay sober?
As for being away from your job, could you take 4-5 weeks to heal from surgery? Nobody wants to go into rehab and be away from their family, but sometimes circumstances require it. I am in no way saying that I'm advocating for inpatient rehab for your treatment, just that if you feel you need it, don't take it off the table. It can me done.
I would also suggest telling your plan to a doctor and check in. Withdrawal can be more serious than you realize.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 9
Thanks for commenting MindfulMan!
I absolutely agree with you, self-tapering is a very hard way to do things. I would imagine most are unsuccessful getting sober using this method. There's a lot of risks involved, and I hope that--with support--I can be successful with this method.
What am I going to do to stay sober? Well, I'll visit this forum often, break the pattern of excluding myself from my family at bedtime, and make sure there is no alcohol (vodka) in the house. Yes, those things are easier said than done but this is a major lifestyle change and difficulty is to be expected.
If unsuccessful through this, I won't have any other choice but to take the time to go into rehab knowing that, most likely, I will lose my job. Of course, the company would say and do all the right things, but in the end, positions get eliminated and organizations get restructured. No matter what its called, the result is the same at the end of the day. Knowing what's on the line, I need to succeed.
Thanks again for commenting, asking questions, bringing things to the forefront! I really appreciate it!
I absolutely agree with you, self-tapering is a very hard way to do things. I would imagine most are unsuccessful getting sober using this method. There's a lot of risks involved, and I hope that--with support--I can be successful with this method.
What am I going to do to stay sober? Well, I'll visit this forum often, break the pattern of excluding myself from my family at bedtime, and make sure there is no alcohol (vodka) in the house. Yes, those things are easier said than done but this is a major lifestyle change and difficulty is to be expected.
If unsuccessful through this, I won't have any other choice but to take the time to go into rehab knowing that, most likely, I will lose my job. Of course, the company would say and do all the right things, but in the end, positions get eliminated and organizations get restructured. No matter what its called, the result is the same at the end of the day. Knowing what's on the line, I need to succeed.
Thanks again for commenting, asking questions, bringing things to the forefront! I really appreciate it!
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Nice!
I think the things you plan to do are good ones. Not having alcohol in the house is big, especially since your drinking appears to be solitary and isolated. I found that isolation was a huge trigger in remaining sober.
I'm with a number of others here that stress having a plan to maintain sobriety. Involvement in some sort of group dedicated to sobriety, be it 12 Step or Smart Recovery or whatever can be really helpful...as can people on this forum. The support and insights I've gotten here have been crucial to my own recovery.
Keep us posted!
I think the things you plan to do are good ones. Not having alcohol in the house is big, especially since your drinking appears to be solitary and isolated. I found that isolation was a huge trigger in remaining sober.
I'm with a number of others here that stress having a plan to maintain sobriety. Involvement in some sort of group dedicated to sobriety, be it 12 Step or Smart Recovery or whatever can be really helpful...as can people on this forum. The support and insights I've gotten here have been crucial to my own recovery.
Keep us posted!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 9
An update
Just wanted to provide an update on my path back to getting--and staying--sober.
As stated before, I'm in the middle of self-limiting/self-weaning off any alcohol use. To this point, I've completed 6 successful days/steps of the 12 needed to be free. So far, so good!
Here's what I've found along the way so far:
- I've stopped shaking like I used to in the mornings after drinking.
- I've started dreaming again, after not dreaming for years.
- Sleep has not been plentiful but it has been present and I can live with that.
- This isn't magic, but instead, hard work. The path is lined with obstacles.
- I no longer fear the alcohol but I respect the hell out of it and its life-changing effects!
I'll check back in as I get through the process. Any and all encouragement, thoughts, comments, or feedback is appreciated!
Stay sober, my friends!
As stated before, I'm in the middle of self-limiting/self-weaning off any alcohol use. To this point, I've completed 6 successful days/steps of the 12 needed to be free. So far, so good!
Here's what I've found along the way so far:
- I've stopped shaking like I used to in the mornings after drinking.
- I've started dreaming again, after not dreaming for years.
- Sleep has not been plentiful but it has been present and I can live with that.
- This isn't magic, but instead, hard work. The path is lined with obstacles.
- I no longer fear the alcohol but I respect the hell out of it and its life-changing effects!
I'll check back in as I get through the process. Any and all encouragement, thoughts, comments, or feedback is appreciated!
Stay sober, my friends!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
I'm so happy to read of your determination & progress, Texas. I somehow missed your first post. We're so glad you found us and told your story. It's going to be wonderful to be free of it. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by TexasBorn 
Today, I started on the path back to getting and staying alcohol free.
True story: I got injured and they gave me narcotics to control the pain. I was scared of getting addicted so I didn't take them. Instead, vodka was the crutch to get through the rough times. And now, vodka is the thing that I loathe the most.
Because of the pain, sleep would rarely come, except with vodka. I learned to be functional: great job, friends, awesome spouse, and kids. But when it was time to sleep, it was time for vodka; albeit a very measured, specific, controlled amount. Too much vodka meant a less functional morning the next day and that just wasn't acceptable.
Even though I could, I don't have a month or two to step away from my job for treatment. Even though I could, I don't want to be away from my family for treatment. But make no mistake, the desire to quit drinking is very, very strong. It's been too much, too long.
So tonight, I took the first step. I have been drinking 12-13 oz of vodka a night. So, for the next 12 nights, each night I will decrease the amount I drink by 1 oz. When the sun rises on the 13th day, I will start counting the days I'm free.
I didn't know the great folks here until recently but I'm glad I found you. Thanks for the words of encouragement, feedback, and support! One day, I want to be able to do for someone else what you have done for me!
One step at a time... Here we go...
True story: I got injured and they gave me narcotics to control the pain. I was scared of getting addicted so I didn't take them. Instead, vodka was the crutch to get through the rough times. And now, vodka is the thing that I loathe the most.
Because of the pain, sleep would rarely come, except with vodka. I learned to be functional: great job, friends, awesome spouse, and kids. But when it was time to sleep, it was time for vodka; albeit a very measured, specific, controlled amount. Too much vodka meant a less functional morning the next day and that just wasn't acceptable.
Even though I could, I don't have a month or two to step away from my job for treatment. Even though I could, I don't want to be away from my family for treatment. But make no mistake, the desire to quit drinking is very, very strong. It's been too much, too long.
So tonight, I took the first step. I have been drinking 12-13 oz of vodka a night. So, for the next 12 nights, each night I will decrease the amount I drink by 1 oz. When the sun rises on the 13th day, I will start counting the days I'm free.
I didn't know the great folks here until recently but I'm glad I found you. Thanks for the words of encouragement, feedback, and support! One day, I want to be able to do for someone else what you have done for me!
One step at a time... Here we go...
Best of luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 9
Many thanks Hevyn and GirlScreaming! We can do this--together!
GirlScreaming, you're right...the first step is the hardest. But to use an old basketball analogy, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take!" You can do it, one second at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time--one step at a time! You got this!
GirlScreaming, you're right...the first step is the hardest. But to use an old basketball analogy, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take!" You can do it, one second at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time--one step at a time! You got this!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Oldsmar, FL
Posts: 22
Welcome to SR TexasBorn -
And congratulations on your decision to strive for sobriety. I too just began my journey (again) recently. I was a heavier drinker than you (at least a 12 pack and sometimes some hard stuff on top) for almost 25 years. I have begun and ended this journey many times. Like you, I want to make it stick this time. This forum is an amazing source of support and I for one am glad you joined. Let's do this together.
And congratulations on your decision to strive for sobriety. I too just began my journey (again) recently. I was a heavier drinker than you (at least a 12 pack and sometimes some hard stuff on top) for almost 25 years. I have begun and ended this journey many times. Like you, I want to make it stick this time. This forum is an amazing source of support and I for one am glad you joined. Let's do this together.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Oldsmar, FL
Posts: 22
Oh yeah, I was never very good at tapering either. I would pretty much drink everything I had. Good luck on tapering, I'm sure it's easier than going cold turkey like I have several times.
To sobriety!
To sobriety!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by TexasBorn
Many thanks Hevyn and GirlScreaming! We can do this--together!
GirlScreaming, you're right...the first step is the hardest. But to use an old basketball analogy, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take!" You can do it, one second at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time--one step at a time! You got this!
GirlScreaming, you're right...the first step is the hardest. But to use an old basketball analogy, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take!" You can do it, one second at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time--one step at a time! You got this!
That's a great quote! Thanks for sharing.
A quote I've been telling myself the past two days is, "if it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you. " it makes the harder moments seem worth it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
Being 100 per cent sober will give back freedom...to think and feel what is real rather than thinking in a fog, not able to function well. Even a little alcohol takes the edge off reality, usually not in a good way.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 9
sfrn, we can do this together! This forum is a great support mechanism for all of us. Who better to understand where you are than someone who's walked down the same road you're on? However, each of our paths towards getting and staying sober are unique. But the end goal for each of us is the same, no matter the road we take to get there. Stay sober, my friend!
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