Puzzle1000

So the last I heard from my abf was a text he sent from him Saturday night. Haven't physically seen him since January 5. I am trying to stay strong and let time just pass and not reach out. Even though I desperately want to know what is going on. I tried calling Sunday and he wouldn't answer. I left it at that. We never had a fight or deep discussion. He just went radio silent. Maybe I don't want to know. I'm just trying to sort out all my emotions. I truly have been damaged by allowing myself to be in a relationship with an alcoholic for 4 years. I feel like I am broken somehow. I'm afraid I don't understand what normal is.

dandylion

Puzzle....the only thing that is going to make a difference in your life is what you do and the decisions you make.
You have no control over him....he is going to do whatever he wants to do....
While you are suffering and pining over him...almost for certain....he is thinking of his next drink.
As painful as this is...life goes on...you will go on....
I sure hope that you are reading the articles in the link that I gave you....there is enough to read one every day....The book.."Co-Dependent No More" would resound a lot with you, right now. You can get it from amazon.com, pretty cheaply....or from the local library....

Keep reading...keep learning...keep posting....

Puzzle1000

Thank you so much. I am reading everyday. It's helping. This site is a life saver for me right now.

dandylion

Good for you, Puzzle!!

Ladybird579

We never had a fight or deep discussion. He just went radio silent.

My exah does this when he is on a drinking binge. He never answers his phone or his door. I've not tried but our sons have in the past and now they don't bother anymore. You deserve better and hurtful as he is focus on yourself and leave him too it. ((hugs))

FeelingGreat

Puzzle we all gather a few knocks and bumps along the way as humans, but I promise you, you are not broken. Bruised maybe.....

His silence has started to give you some distance and perspective, so you can expect your mind to be thinking back, maybe reliving some of the bad stuff. Now would be a good time for you to see a counsellor or someone you can talk to freely, if possible. It will help you process things.

Have you worked out how you want handle things when he eventually turns up?

Puzzle1000

Good question. I actually just thought of that today. But I don't think he will. This is all just too bizarre. Even at his worst he has been in touch somehow. This is probably gods way of making me see the relationship for what it is. It's hard to see when you are IN it. I'm being forced to reevaluate. I've been struggling and wondering if I should send a text or call. But I don't think it will make things any better. He is probably waiting for that phone call from me. I need to break the sick cycle we have going.

dandylion

Puzzle.....I think you are correct!

Worried111

Puzzle,

I am going through same thing. The last time we talked was last Wednesday. We'd been broken up for about a month but chose to stay friends while he worked out his life and try to get sober. But I noticed he still drank on weekends and maybe in the week to after work. Last Friday I get a text on his phone from his daughter saying he in hospital. I panicked and called hospital and he was in ICU. He is out of ICU now and in a regular room. I tried calling yesterday and his mom was there and said he was resting and didnt want to talk. I figured well he is sick so left it along. I have sent a card telling him to get well. But it seems like he shutting me out again. I want to be there for him but yet I don't want to smother him either. I want him to reach out to me. I am not sure what happened to him. All I know the incident happened at work. Dont know if he has an illness or he came to work intoxicated and got into an accident.

Learning14