Stew1984

I am really stuck in a constant loop of drinking. I’ve made so many mistakes, one of them being I came off the forum and tried to do stuff without any support. Nothing is sticking. Every day I clear the empty cans up and recycle only to buy more the next day. I feel like I’m going mad. Off work this week with the intention of kicking this once and for all only to find myself going under again. Lost loads of money, family are in constant state of worry, ex girlfriend in the house and can not afford it. Stressed in my job. Can see an idealistic world but I can’t get there at the minute.
I’m sorry to everyone here as I have been so inconsistent in my attitude towards stopping drinking and treated it with little respect and not serious. The truth is that this is a serious problem for me and I feel in my own with it.
So many people relying on me for different things. I can’t let them down. I’m done in guys. I need help and support if I am to get my life back. I’m sorry about everything

tomsteve

still adamant about not going to rehab?
seems it would be your best option, which is still an option.

Stew1984

I probs have to go there, this was the big reason I left the forum the first time

Nonsensical

I used to think that way, too.
Then one day I realized this wasn't something that was happening TO me. This is something I was DOING.
That's the day I decided to stop being a victim of the problem and started being the architect and master of the solution.

It's difficult.
Sometimes you'll feel bad.

You can do this.

tomls

I was stuck like you for years. I finally saw that I was going to kill me if I didn't stop. I set a date which just happened to be my birthday which was a couple of weeks away and stuck to it. I still can't believe I have made it this far! I did it one day at a time and posted every morning on the 24 hour recovery connection thread to remind me of who I am and I can't drink! Best wishes for you on your journey!

BlownOne

Agree with tomseteve. Sometimes rehab is the kickstart we need to get sober and begin recovery. They're two different things. Rehab will allow you the time and space to get physically sober and begin teaching you the tools of recovery. What have you got to lose except your misery?

2muchpain

TBH, it sounds like you are still straddling the fence regarding getting real help. It's great your back here on SR, but it sounds like you need much more than this forum. Many people here have given you a lot of great advice, but you refused to budge. Hopefully you are now willing to take your drinking seriously and do something about it. So what are you actually going to DO Stewy? What action are you willing to take? John

tomsteve

because rehab was suggested?

AnvilheadII

what are you WILLING to do different?
what WILL you do differently?

Dustitoffman

Hi Stewey

YOU ARE NOT ON YOUR OWN!
We are all here and will support and assist with whatever we can in this forum.

I appreciate that you feel like a train wreck at the moment and life can appear like chaos when you feel stuck.
You think that you are consuming alcohol and that will somehow change something but the irony is that every time you touch the drink to your lips the alcohol is consuming you.
It wants to suck the fight out of you so that you become it's slave.
You have to make the decision for your self and you will have to take some bold steps to get started.
If you do nothing, nothing gets done!
This is a mantra I use to push myself forward.
No one else can take the first steps for you. One foot in front of the other and push forward it ain't easy.
Life will not self correct over night but one step at a time things will start to move towards a better future.
Look for and seize all help available to you and go for it.
Don't put it off.
You deserve more!

FreeOwl

Trying to go it alone never worked for me. I needed community and daily support.

I used this forum every day for the first year. I went to AA meetings several times a week for the first year. Sometimes, I went to two or three meetings a day. It was essential for me to keep my head 100% in the sober mindset and to surround myself with understanding support and 'been there, done that' wisdom.

You can change this pattern and open up incredible goodness in your life - but YOU must choose it and YOU must act to support it. That means getting yourself plugged in with recovery support and community.

YOU CAN.

Anna

Yes, Stewy, you are at the point where you must take action, whether it's going to rehab or something else. What will you do today to ensure you do not drink?

Opivotal

I was caught up in the "endless loop". I'm sure all of us can relate, Stewy. Until I was willing to do my part and stop nothing changed. Day after day, same story. Drink, feel bad, drink more, feel worse.

It's really as simple and as hard as that. Don't pick up a drink no matter what. Work on a support system, reclaim your life. It's hard work, but I was willing to do anything, whatever it took to stop the insanity.

We can support you, we can't do it for you. Took me a while to accept any change had to come from me.

There is no "sober fairy".

SoberLeigh

Good to,see you, Stewy! ❤️

I believe that it is time to go all in by going to rehab. Your wellbeing is already suffering; next it could be your very life.

We care so much about you, Stewy. Please care for yourself with equal due.

2muchpain

Well Stewy, what are you going to do? John

readyt0change

find that will/strength deep down. say to yourself "booze won't get the best of me anymore."

if you want it bad enough it is possible.

85 days today and that's what's worked for me.

JK130

Family. Finances. Job. You didn't mention health, but guessing that's a concern too. Focus on what might change for those 4 critical areas if you stay sober. You already can see the future if you continue to drink. It will be hard work and not a miracle - but it will feel like one to you and those who love you when you stop alcohol, and little by little start to see improvements. You can do this! It doesn't matter that you tried before, or that it's still hard. You can make today Day 1, and we'll be your cheerleaders!

Nowsthetime

Hi!

No need to apologize to us! This is about you. We will always be here to support you but as it was said, it’s up to you to do the heavy lifting.

Have you started building a plan?

least

You've got to do something. You will end up losing all that you hold dear if you don't stop drinking.

Make a plan of action and then stick to it, before it's too late.

DontRemember

Hi, Stewey and welcome back! I was thinking about you a couple weeks ago and wondering how you were. You really 'need' rehab,bud. I know you were very annadment about not going before,but nothing...nothing you've tried has worked. I would have went to rehab in a heartbeat if given the choice. Posting here and working with the advice of the 'been theres' and some AA have me at 13+months now. With a lot of "life BS" happening in that time I'd normally drink over. I've learned and am still learning how to live without my crutch/blinders. I've ridden myself of toxic people and places. I'm happy now most days,content the others. Please seek some real support. Coming here with a half hearted attempt never got me sober( i tried it). It takes everything you've got and then something's you don't know you have/can do. It takes surrender.