Hallo all
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1
Hallo all
I'm Scared out of my mind, this is my fist sober day in about six years. I only drink after five and have a demanding job. Weekends I will drink most of the time. Well I'm here, lying in bed and crying, missing my brandy. I've got a husband and 3 kids, feeling like a total failure, setting bad examples for my kids. My youngest is six, so he knows a drink mum. We have a nice home life, always laughing, but because I'm tipsy and funny, the kids like it when barbeque and play music all weekend. This is now stopping. My husband also drinks but he can handle it and has no cravings, he can for days without and he is fine. So yes, here I am....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Welcome,
Maybe I am reading this wrong, but why does the music and BBQ have to stop on the weekends?
I too have a child, he is the next driving force for me stopping alcohol. I am the first.
I didn't want my son to grow up thinking a life of alcohol was OK. I am not able to control it when I start, my BF he is a "normie" and still drinks.
Being sober is so much more rewarding!!!
I am not busy drinking, so I am with my son more
I am not hungover in bed the next day, so I am able to be with my son more
I have picked up new hobbies
I have let all toxic people go from my life
I go to an AA meeting and I adore all the people there as I am surrounded by people who understand what I am going through as I don't have that understanding at home.
IT does get easier, being sober.
Getting through the first couple weeks may be the most difficult, the change in activities, the change in what you do now compare to the times you would have been drinking.
Life change isn't easy, but with time it'll be second nature, just like drinking was. Not like we came out of the body with alcohol on the brain, we taught ourselves how and when to drink. Now focusing on something else during those time .
Many blessings,
DC
Maybe I am reading this wrong, but why does the music and BBQ have to stop on the weekends?
I too have a child, he is the next driving force for me stopping alcohol. I am the first.
I didn't want my son to grow up thinking a life of alcohol was OK. I am not able to control it when I start, my BF he is a "normie" and still drinks.
Being sober is so much more rewarding!!!
I am not busy drinking, so I am with my son more
I am not hungover in bed the next day, so I am able to be with my son more
I have picked up new hobbies
I have let all toxic people go from my life
I go to an AA meeting and I adore all the people there as I am surrounded by people who understand what I am going through as I don't have that understanding at home.
IT does get easier, being sober.
Getting through the first couple weeks may be the most difficult, the change in activities, the change in what you do now compare to the times you would have been drinking.
Life change isn't easy, but with time it'll be second nature, just like drinking was. Not like we came out of the body with alcohol on the brain, we taught ourselves how and when to drink. Now focusing on something else during those time .
Many blessings,
DC
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 366
Hang in there honey. I think that brandy is lying to you. Those backyard bbqs are gonna be so much better without your friend brandy. She's a drag. She just blurs all the lines and makes EVERYTHING seem like a haze of fun and games.
The REAL highs and lows (and there are both) come with sobering clarity.
Let the kids, your hubby, the sunshine, etc . . . be the life of the party. Stop letting brandy overshadow them.
The REAL highs and lows (and there are both) come with sobering clarity.
Let the kids, your hubby, the sunshine, etc . . . be the life of the party. Stop letting brandy overshadow them.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Welcome to SR, newtothis; very glad that you found and joined us.
I bet that you will find that your Brabdy is a lot like my old friend, Chardonnay - a miserable creature who truly cared nothing at all about me.
My life without alcohol is an exponentially better one. I suspect that you will find the same.
Stay close. We truly care about you and your recovery.
I bet that you will find that your Brabdy is a lot like my old friend, Chardonnay - a miserable creature who truly cared nothing at all about me.
My life without alcohol is an exponentially better one. I suspect that you will find the same.
Stay close. We truly care about you and your recovery.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi and welcome Newtothis 
I think most of us envisage sobriety as a joyless grey existence - but it's not
The longer I stayed sober the more I remembered this is the way my life used to be before my drinking took it over.
I'm having the best tome of my life now - seriously. My social life is better now than it ever was with me as a drinker.
The early days are hard - and you're right - changes will need to be made...but as you get stronger you can build the kind of sober life you want
you're not alone Newtothis5...and it will get easier.
I'm so glad you've found us
I think most of us envisage sobriety as a joyless grey existence - but it's not
The longer I stayed sober the more I remembered this is the way my life used to be before my drinking took it over.
I'm having the best tome of my life now - seriously. My social life is better now than it ever was with me as a drinker.
The early days are hard - and you're right - changes will need to be made...but as you get stronger you can build the kind of sober life you want
you're not alone Newtothis5...and it will get easier.
I'm so glad you've found us
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Great to meet you, Newtothis!
It's a brave thing you're doing - you'll be living in a whole new way. Be proud of yourself for taking action now. I allowed myself to be fuzzy & numb for far too many years. Welcome to an encouraging place - you're never alone.
It's a brave thing you're doing - you'll be living in a whole new way. Be proud of yourself for taking action now. I allowed myself to be fuzzy & numb for far too many years. Welcome to an encouraging place - you're never alone.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
Welcome Newtothis,
Making life changes is scary. You can do this. When I made the decision to quit I knew that if I didn't I would lose everything. My biggest fear was that I wouldn't be able to stop and enjoy life. I was so wrong. It took a lot of hard work to quit but it gets easier and life becomes so much better than I could have imagined.
Good luck
Making life changes is scary. You can do this. When I made the decision to quit I knew that if I didn't I would lose everything. My biggest fear was that I wouldn't be able to stop and enjoy life. I was so wrong. It took a lot of hard work to quit but it gets easier and life becomes so much better than I could have imagined.
Good luck
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