Binge drinker for years..need to stop this destruction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2
Binge drinker for years..need to stop this destruction
Hi this is all new to me joining sr but just wanted some help and advice.
Im 16 days sober, came out of first time in rehab just over a week ago. Suffering terrible anxiety and feel awfully guilty and low mood. The binge drinking started just before christmas and was drinking heavily for days after, husband and kids left on boxing day, cant blame them i was getting worse just couldnt control myself and drinking more and more. Last time i had a massive binge was at a bbq at home in june so 6 months prior. Had been only drinking some weekends inbetween these last two binges. I have learnt a lot being in rehab and know i have got an alcohol abuse problem. Generally suffer with anxiety and day to day stress anyway and the drink just masks that all away. Started drinking around the age of 14, parents allowing me, mother an alcoholic she nearly died 18 mths ago had a seizure. She hasnt drunk since. I believe a lot of my issues are resentment towards my unsupportive/unloving parents..never been there for me or their grandchildren. Im fortunate that i have a loving husband who i have been with for 22 yrs but has put up with too much of this drinking problem. My little boy hates his mum at the moment because of the drink. This makes me so sad but i dont blame him. Why am i doing what my mother put me through when i was growing up? I need to build my trust back and its so hard. I hate alcohol its caused me nothing but upset andupheaval and i never learn. Im very positive this time. Reaching out for support is a good thing and doing my folder work from rehab. Just these early days are so hard to deal with.
Thanks for listening!
Im 16 days sober, came out of first time in rehab just over a week ago. Suffering terrible anxiety and feel awfully guilty and low mood. The binge drinking started just before christmas and was drinking heavily for days after, husband and kids left on boxing day, cant blame them i was getting worse just couldnt control myself and drinking more and more. Last time i had a massive binge was at a bbq at home in june so 6 months prior. Had been only drinking some weekends inbetween these last two binges. I have learnt a lot being in rehab and know i have got an alcohol abuse problem. Generally suffer with anxiety and day to day stress anyway and the drink just masks that all away. Started drinking around the age of 14, parents allowing me, mother an alcoholic she nearly died 18 mths ago had a seizure. She hasnt drunk since. I believe a lot of my issues are resentment towards my unsupportive/unloving parents..never been there for me or their grandchildren. Im fortunate that i have a loving husband who i have been with for 22 yrs but has put up with too much of this drinking problem. My little boy hates his mum at the moment because of the drink. This makes me so sad but i dont blame him. Why am i doing what my mother put me through when i was growing up? I need to build my trust back and its so hard. I hate alcohol its caused me nothing but upset andupheaval and i never learn. Im very positive this time. Reaching out for support is a good thing and doing my folder work from rehab. Just these early days are so hard to deal with.
Thanks for listening!
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome to SR, Tb31! This is a great place to be if you want help and information to help you get sober.
Life can be good. It took some work and willingness to change, but I found out life could be better than I'd even imagined.
Life can be good. It took some work and willingness to change, but I found out life could be better than I'd even imagined.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Tb,
I totally relate.
Alcohol is a highly addictive neuro toxin that insideously damages our brain and body in so many ways.
For me, the main issue was/is the lack of dopemin. Booze alters that. So, withoutbooze I felt sad. I was exercising when I quit drinking and I ramped it up.
Fitness improved my mental state. I am a gym rat now. I get a natural high from working out.
I drank to get drunk since i was a little boy. It was how all of us kids were. Parents were stoner hippies.
They didn't really know what it was doing to me. I didn't know until I found SR.
Getting this clean required suffering. I still suffer a bit daily.
For me, the crave is for life. I am an addict for life. I look in the mirror and see an addict.
I am very lucky to have gotten out of the depths of my addiction.
Now, I use coping strategies, found on the internet, to get through tough times.
Being clean is amazing.
Thanks.
I totally relate.
Alcohol is a highly addictive neuro toxin that insideously damages our brain and body in so many ways.
For me, the main issue was/is the lack of dopemin. Booze alters that. So, withoutbooze I felt sad. I was exercising when I quit drinking and I ramped it up.
Fitness improved my mental state. I am a gym rat now. I get a natural high from working out.
I drank to get drunk since i was a little boy. It was how all of us kids were. Parents were stoner hippies.
They didn't really know what it was doing to me. I didn't know until I found SR.
Getting this clean required suffering. I still suffer a bit daily.
For me, the crave is for life. I am an addict for life. I look in the mirror and see an addict.
I am very lucky to have gotten out of the depths of my addiction.
Now, I use coping strategies, found on the internet, to get through tough times.
Being clean is amazing.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
good news!!!
you have all the right ingredients in your story for an incredible turnaround and a wonderful, joyous, present, abundant, SOBER life ahead!!!
Congrats on 16 days.
Welcome to a great community for support.
Here's to the start of an awesome new life.
you have all the right ingredients in your story for an incredible turnaround and a wonderful, joyous, present, abundant, SOBER life ahead!!!
Congrats on 16 days.
Welcome to a great community for support.
Here's to the start of an awesome new life.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853
Welcome! I think lots of us are trapped in these kinds of cycles--doing what our parents/loved ones did to us. I think it's natural, so don't waste time beating yourself up. The good news is you are here and making an effort! Your family will appreciate all your hard work.
Personally, right now I'm focusing on pain as a motivator for change. Maybe that will help you too.
Personally, right now I'm focusing on pain as a motivator for change. Maybe that will help you too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 17
My drinking sounds alot like yours. I am on day 3 of having given up drinking forever. I want to get back to me and live life. I have found wondrful insight here on SR. hang in there! You have good reasons to give up the booze.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 192
I hear you! My Psychologist l left with the diagnosis of TRAUMA BY ACE. I asked my family Dr. what the hell is that? We both laughed, he had no clue!! So being the awesome Dr. he is he Googled it.
Trauma from Adverse Childhood Experiences. He gave me the website. Now I get it. My Dad passed away two years ago and Mom is 81. I've forgiven them in my heart. But never face to face. They'd just say I was blaming them for my problems, etc. As for my older brothers (forget about it, I'm the IDENTIFIED PATIENT)
Hope looking up Trauma by ACE can help. I'm not a Dr. I just play one on TV. And cannot give medical advice on this site. Only my experience.
Best of luck
Trauma from Adverse Childhood Experiences. He gave me the website. Now I get it. My Dad passed away two years ago and Mom is 81. I've forgiven them in my heart. But never face to face. They'd just say I was blaming them for my problems, etc. As for my older brothers (forget about it, I'm the IDENTIFIED PATIENT)
Hope looking up Trauma by ACE can help. I'm not a Dr. I just play one on TV. And cannot give medical advice on this site. Only my experience.
Best of luck
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hi and welcome TB
I don't think it's ever too late to turn things around - even with your son.
A fair few of our members have come from alcoholic homes - but they've broken the cycle...I'm sure you can too
I'm glad you found us
D
I don't think it's ever too late to turn things around - even with your son.
A fair few of our members have come from alcoholic homes - but they've broken the cycle...I'm sure you can too
I'm glad you found us
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2
Slowly getting there
Thank you everyone for your replies, support and guidance.
Sober life is getting easier by the day..just still feel terribly anxious and head is like a washing machine! This is great that ive found this support network.
Sober life is getting easier by the day..just still feel terribly anxious and head is like a washing machine! This is great that ive found this support network.
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