Tore In Two
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Life Is Short
Posts: 2,017
Tore In Two
Hi you guys, a new friend Shelbi is needing our help, so I'm starting a thread for her. Thanks everyone 
Denise.
Shelbi you've been blessed you know, the gang here will help you out and give you the best advice sweetie.
Here's her story.
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When Does The Pain Stop?
Hi my name is shelbi and I just joined this site tonight.I have nobody else to talk to about my husbands heroin addiction.It is driving me insane.I have been in control of my life since I was 16 years old Im now41 and have no clue what to do.Nothing I say or do matters the Heroin always wins.we are loosing everything we worked for since we were 18 our son has already walked out and believes I should walk too,but I dont know how to start my life over...any help would be [email protected]
Denise. Shelbi you've been blessed you know, the gang here will help you out and give you the best advice sweetie.
Here's her story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Does The Pain Stop?
Hi my name is shelbi and I just joined this site tonight.I have nobody else to talk to about my husbands heroin addiction.It is driving me insane.I have been in control of my life since I was 16 years old Im now41 and have no clue what to do.Nothing I say or do matters the Heroin always wins.we are loosing everything we worked for since we were 18 our son has already walked out and believes I should walk too,but I dont know how to start my life over...any help would be [email protected]
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
((((((Shelbi))))))))
Welcome!!! I believe you need to find a naranon meeting look in your phone book in the white business pages....
I too had a very long and painful walk thru trying to hold everything together while my H used crack. The first thing I had to do was learn to detach from what he was doing or what I thought he might do. I had to get clear about what I needed to do for me. We spend much of our time worrying about our AH's and let go of ourselves and things that we need. I want to encourage you to something good for you today.
Letting go sounds easy but it is not. It seems like letting go means we do not love them. Letting go is a very loving act it means that we trust God and believe He has a better plan for us and them than we do. When we let go we give God the room to work and we give our AH's room to suffer their consequences. Letting go does not mean we have to leave for some it does but, we can let go and still live with them.
I know you hurt.....Addicts know how to manipulate us into doing things we never intended to do. I started letting go in small ways. I found that the word NO is a complete sentence!!!! I hope you do too!!! God is with you Shelbi....say your prayers and I will also remember you in mine.... TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!!!
Welcome!!! I believe you need to find a naranon meeting look in your phone book in the white business pages....
I too had a very long and painful walk thru trying to hold everything together while my H used crack. The first thing I had to do was learn to detach from what he was doing or what I thought he might do. I had to get clear about what I needed to do for me. We spend much of our time worrying about our AH's and let go of ourselves and things that we need. I want to encourage you to something good for you today.
Letting go sounds easy but it is not. It seems like letting go means we do not love them. Letting go is a very loving act it means that we trust God and believe He has a better plan for us and them than we do. When we let go we give God the room to work and we give our AH's room to suffer their consequences. Letting go does not mean we have to leave for some it does but, we can let go and still live with them.
I know you hurt.....Addicts know how to manipulate us into doing things we never intended to do. I started letting go in small ways. I found that the word NO is a complete sentence!!!! I hope you do too!!! God is with you Shelbi....say your prayers and I will also remember you in mine.... TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
(((Shelbi))))
I'm saying a prayer for you right now. I agree with Splendra about nar-anon. We also have a friends and family forum here that you might want to look at. I don't know what it's like to live with an addict, because I am a recovering addict. I know we do some hurtful things to our loved ones. Like Splendra said, you need to take care of yourself. Pray about about it. God will lead you in the right direction, if you allow him to.
Sherry
I'm saying a prayer for you right now. I agree with Splendra about nar-anon. We also have a friends and family forum here that you might want to look at. I don't know what it's like to live with an addict, because I am a recovering addict. I know we do some hurtful things to our loved ones. Like Splendra said, you need to take care of yourself. Pray about about it. God will lead you in the right direction, if you allow him to.
Sherry
Tired Of Tears
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 24
Thank You All For The Support It Means The World To Me.its The First Time In A Very Long Time That I Looked Forward To Anything.receiving Your Messages Gives Me Something To Look Forward Too..god Bless You All...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 59
Hi Shelbi. I'm glad you found this site. There's lots of great people with lots of great advice. You'll learn lots just from reading, and you can post and vent to people who understand what you're going thru. If possible, you should really try to go to a Naranon or Alanon meeting. They teach us how to take the focus off the addict and put it on yourself and your family. I'm posting a link to some that may be near you. Take care!!
http://www.naranon.com/home.html
Lori
http://www.naranon.com/home.html
Lori
Tired Of Tears
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 24
Today Has Been A Really Bad Day For Me I Spent The Better Part Of The Day Looking For A Husband I Can Never Find,i Know What He's Doing And It Actually Makes Me Sick Why Cant Ge Just Stop!!! I Am So Damn Angry So Much So That I Almost Wish I Wa Addicted To Something Maybe Then The Pain Would Go Away For Just Alittle While..i Just Dont Honestly Know How Much More I Can Take..
Shelbi
Shelbi
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Shelbi-
Your H is your addiction. Get your focus on yourself. I can not begin to tell you how important it is to your sanity to stop trying to make your H stop using or to hunt him down......When you you feel like you want to chase him down it is time to take a bubble bath or anything that will keep you from going on a mission.....
I know how much it hurts...You must start thinking about yourself not him. I know how hard that is to do. We are with you sweetie and we will help you get your brains out of hock. Keep posting and keep reading.....
Your H is your addiction. Get your focus on yourself. I can not begin to tell you how important it is to your sanity to stop trying to make your H stop using or to hunt him down......When you you feel like you want to chase him down it is time to take a bubble bath or anything that will keep you from going on a mission.....
I know how much it hurts...You must start thinking about yourself not him. I know how hard that is to do. We are with you sweetie and we will help you get your brains out of hock. Keep posting and keep reading.....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hot Springs Arkansas
Posts: 19
Dear Shelbi,
Welcome to SR. I hope that some of our members who have a similar spouse problem will keep in touch with you. You know, some of us are the problem in our life, not our spouse, and for some of us it is both, but all situations hurt the same. As Splenda says, sometimes we have to check ourselves that we are not enabling a spouse to keep up their addiction by our love. But then at the same time, sometimes only by the love of another can someone break their addiction. I wish you luck and love.
Sherry Lassie
Welcome to SR. I hope that some of our members who have a similar spouse problem will keep in touch with you. You know, some of us are the problem in our life, not our spouse, and for some of us it is both, but all situations hurt the same. As Splenda says, sometimes we have to check ourselves that we are not enabling a spouse to keep up their addiction by our love. But then at the same time, sometimes only by the love of another can someone break their addiction. I wish you luck and love.
Sherry Lassie
Tired Of Tears
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 24
please try to write to me at [email protected] I am really having a hard time finding my way around this site.
My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 338
(((SHELBI)))
There is no answer to your opening question, when does the pain stop. None I've ever found anyway.
The most important thing is : you can't cure him.
All you can do you're doing. Be there but don't enable. Love him, hate the disease. Nothing new there.
Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
There is no answer to your opening question, when does the pain stop. None I've ever found anyway.
The most important thing is : you can't cure him.
All you can do you're doing. Be there but don't enable. Love him, hate the disease. Nothing new there.
Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
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