hoski0999

Hello. I'm new to all of this. I'm 29 years old and have been binging a lot 2017. I have clinical depression and anxiety so I would self medicate with booze. I went overboard one night and googled alcohol withdraw and it scared the **** out of me. I stopped drinking for a few months and figured I'd be okay. I was for a bit but depression kicked in and I went down the rabbit hole again. Now anytime I drink I'm terrified of withdrawals and I keep drinking due to that. I'm so absolutely tired of this. I feel amazing not drinking unless the depression or anxiety kicks in and I actually hold off drinking until I can't take it anymore.

As of this post I had 6 5 percent 14 oz beers on Monday and 2 bottles of 14 percent wine on Tuesday. I have a doctor's appointment today to discuss this issue and get help. I was just recently on leave for 2 months for severe depression so I can't take off work. I'm so scared of withdrawals it throws me into a tailspin. Each binge I've had benzos to taper off.

I'm looking for advice or experience. I know it's not medical advice. That's what the doc appointment is for. But please please give me some insight. I'm so scared. And yes I want to get through these first days and be completely done.

4TheFallen

Hi hoski and welcome! I think the doctor's appointment will help ease some of your fears. You are making steps in the right direction. Coming here and posting and going to a doctor appt is a good start. Try to take some deep breaths maybe you could go for a walk or do something you enjoy that can help you calm down some of the stress and anxiety you are feeling over this. Continuing to binge because you are afraid of the withdrawals doesn't really help the situation but I am sure you know that. I used to be a daily drinker for about 4 years and would drink a bottle of wine a day to a bottle and a half. I didn't experience any withdrawal symptoms that google described when I quit cold turkey. Everyone is different though and I can only tell you my experience with it. Please let me know how your doctor appointment goes!

Anna

Welcome, and it's good you are planning to talk to your dr. He should be able to give you advice about detoxing safely. And, each binge will likely be harder and more difficult to recover from due to alcoholic Kindling. I didn't know what that was when I was drinking/stopping, but it definitely happened with me.

I hope that you also talk to your dr about the depression. Many of us here, me included, self-medicated depression and anxiety. As you're finding out, alcohol makes these things worse and we end up with another problem to deal with.

hoski0999

I have a psych for the depression and anxiety. I just want to get through this phase and continue help with staying away from it. I'm currently at my desk at work and so scared.

Dee74

Hi Hoski
welcoem to SR
I was scared too but this communitys support talked me down.

Post & read as much as you need to - you're going to be OK

D

least

I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

hoski0999

Doctor said I was going to be perfectly fine thankfully. I did tell her I enrolled on this website and will attend meetings. I do Depression type meetings too. She did give me 2 librium for today cause she say how terrified I was. I refuse to let drinking define me. I'll miss being able to go out and have them with the friends. But I'll also be able to laugh when I feel great and they are hungover. These are friends that don't have issues with drinking so I would never laugh at someone struggling.