Readygo

My husband thinks all be Control with amount of alcohol consumed is possible if you just stop after one or two. I would rather not start if that were the case because the anxiety of knowing that’s all is actually obnoxious to me. I’m not sure how to explain my addictive brain to him. He doesn’t understand how I just can’t stop which in all fairness I didn’t understand my own issue either for years. Why can’t I just stop??

Nonsensical

If you solve this riddle, let us know. We'll put you to work on solving world hunger for an encore.

The next time he suggests you can stop after 1 or 2 just say, "I really appreciate your confidence in me, but I find it so much easier if I just don't have any."

Keep rocking that sobriety!

Anna

I think you can stop drinking because you know it's the right thing to do. It doesn't really matter if your husband understands or not. This is something you are doing for yourself because it's necessary.

DontRemember

The way I've 'attempted' to explain it is; "When it comes to DOC my mind goes into a circular/obsessive mode and it's all about my DOC. It just keeps spinning around in my mind. I can not control it." But, even a 3 drink night out is pointless to me. I'd prefer to have none.

tomsteve

Why can’t I just stop??

i found it to be because i crossed a stage of alcoholism where no human power could releive my alcoholism. i became powerless over alcohol.once i had a drink i couldnt stop no matter how much i wanted to.
in order to stop,and stay stopped, it was necessary for me to have a power greater than me,one not of this world, to help me.

Readygo

I’m hoping that he can respect my wanting to stop on the basis of I know what’s best for me. So far he thinks what I’m doing is just a break and speaks as if he can’t even comprehend not doing it at all.

Anna

Try to remember that this is your decision and it's about you.

least

It doesn't matter what he thinks. You are doing this for you. He doesn't have to understand. Just do what you know is right.

DarklingSong

Readygo, my husband cannot understand my problem either. It bothered me a lot when I first quit. Now he just accepts I am not drinking......he saw how upset I was when I recently relapsed so now 'gets' that drinking makes me unhappy. It takes time I think for loved ones to adjust particularly if you did a lot of drinking together.

ScottFromWI

You need to prepare yourself for the possibility that he may never understand why you are quitting. It's hard enough for us to understand why ourselves..much less explain it to someone else.

Bottom line, you know quitting is necessary so what he thinks really doesn't matter. He certainly may come around to understand - and at the very least respect - your decision, but you know how important it is and cannot allow his thougts derail your efforts.

Nonsensical

If he does it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.

If he never does it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.

You can't control him or determine what, when, or how he gives respect.

Let's work on you being OK with that.

Offthemast

Probably scared he's gonna have to analyze his own drinking. Most drinkers don't like that.

Dee74

he doesn't need to understand, readygo - but you do.
Not drinking at all is the only way recovery works.

D

Canuckleman45

I'm doing this for me. For my health. I get to be the selfish one for a damn change. Well other than the opposite I've been doing for the last few years. Thats been selfish as well. LOL. And I don't care what other people say, or their opinions. If you don't like it, or respect it then P I S S OFF

Fiona224

My husband is the same way and I have wreaked absolute havoc on our lives with my using. I think he is threatened by the idea that a) I really am not in control and b) what might change if I get healthy and less needy/dependent/scared. For me it is hard not to have his support because I feel like it would be easier with someone holding me accountable. However I have lied and hidden the amounts so often for so long, that I also know that I’m in this alone no matter what, I have to hold myself accountable. I’ll be thinking of you and wishing you the very best