hello!?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: williamsburg virginia
Posts: 19
hello!?
hello--new kid kid on the block here---although I was never a member of the band I may have shared a similar haircut at one point in my youth.Which is not quite as frightening as their music but close.
I just turned 30 and have been struggling with alcohol since I was 15. Ive never been arrested or had any moments of chasing my moonshine with turpentine--but the despair and suicidal thinking Ive experienced has been far worse in my opinion than a night in the can or mistaking the vodka for kerosene. looking to break the tape and start a new life.
ok its Halloween and I have wicked insomnia--Im so used to drinking myself to sleep that now I dont know what to do with myself--
it feels good though----kind of exciting----maybe Ill remember my dreams for once!!thats something to stay sober in itself!
holla at me --- sos at least Im not all by myself on this big internet thing
I just turned 30 and have been struggling with alcohol since I was 15. Ive never been arrested or had any moments of chasing my moonshine with turpentine--but the despair and suicidal thinking Ive experienced has been far worse in my opinion than a night in the can or mistaking the vodka for kerosene. looking to break the tape and start a new life.
ok its Halloween and I have wicked insomnia--Im so used to drinking myself to sleep that now I dont know what to do with myself--
it feels good though----kind of exciting----maybe Ill remember my dreams for once!!thats something to stay sober in itself!
holla at me --- sos at least Im not all by myself on this big internet thing
Last edited by cuppycake; 10-31-2004 at 11:43 PM. Reason: grammer
Choosing Life
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: London
Posts: 889
Hi CuppyCake
JC here - alcoholic. Welcome to SR - great bunch of people here with lots of support and advice. I learn something new everyday.
Congrats on making a decision to do something about your drinking. I can relate to you wanting to "break the tape" I was stuck in an alcohol cycle for years. I don't drink one day at a time with the help of AA (but there are other programs) and life is getting better, one day at a time. Not sure when you had your last drink, but for me, after about 4 to 5 days sober, my sleeping got pretty much back to normal.
Look forward to posting and chatting with you.
much love
JC
JC here - alcoholic. Welcome to SR - great bunch of people here with lots of support and advice. I learn something new everyday.
Congrats on making a decision to do something about your drinking. I can relate to you wanting to "break the tape" I was stuck in an alcohol cycle for years. I don't drink one day at a time with the help of AA (but there are other programs) and life is getting better, one day at a time. Not sure when you had your last drink, but for me, after about 4 to 5 days sober, my sleeping got pretty much back to normal.
Look forward to posting and chatting with you.
much love
JC
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: williamsburg virginia
Posts: 19
hello hello!
thanks for the warm welcome!
just readin some of the threads---lots of emotion flyin around---feelin like crud....waitin out the sleeplessness.
My last drink was last night and the road ahead is going to be a bumpy ride.I used to storm into AA meetings like a herd of elephants with an ego the size of Texas...now...Im pretty broke down.I think I burned out all my confidence with alcohol. Perhaps with that ego aside I can get some real work done...
I feel outta shape and terrible----my love life is turbulant, abusive and reeking of alcohol--and now Im getting ready to embark on a lifestyle change in the midst of all these falling bombs. Its scary.
just readin some of the threads---lots of emotion flyin around---feelin like crud....waitin out the sleeplessness.
My last drink was last night and the road ahead is going to be a bumpy ride.I used to storm into AA meetings like a herd of elephants with an ego the size of Texas...now...Im pretty broke down.I think I burned out all my confidence with alcohol. Perhaps with that ego aside I can get some real work done...
I feel outta shape and terrible----my love life is turbulant, abusive and reeking of alcohol--and now Im getting ready to embark on a lifestyle change in the midst of all these falling bombs. Its scary.
OH SH!T
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: RICHMOND,VIRGINIA-
Posts: 1,655
HEY C.CAKE WELCOME,SOUNDS LIKE YOUR TIRED OF DRINKING.
HEAD ON BACK TO THE MEETINGS LIKE A HERD OF ELEPHANTS.
MY EGO KEPT ME DRUNK A LONG TIME.
KEEP AT IT,YOUR WORTH IT.
JUST UP 95 A FEW MILES,LOTS OF SOBRIETY AROUND HERE........ted :rambo:
HEAD ON BACK TO THE MEETINGS LIKE A HERD OF ELEPHANTS.
MY EGO KEPT ME DRUNK A LONG TIME.
KEEP AT IT,YOUR WORTH IT.
JUST UP 95 A FEW MILES,LOTS OF SOBRIETY AROUND HERE........ted :rambo:
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Hi CuppyCake! Welcome and Congratulations.
The first days are the hardest days but keep the faith and the bombs will stop falling and the sun will come out. One thing I used to focus on (and still do for that matter) comes from the N.A. Blue Book:
It's all good (except when it's not and even then it's 100% better than it was)
Jah Bless
The first days are the hardest days but keep the faith and the bombs will stop falling and the sun will come out. One thing I used to focus on (and still do for that matter) comes from the N.A. Blue Book:
"...from this point on, we began to see that every clean day is a successful day, no matter what else happens."
This means that if I get to bed and the bed is not spinning, I had a good day. For normal people, this is not the case because they expect to get bed and find the bed not spinning. For them, a bad day is just a bad day but for me, the worse the day is and I still don't pick up, the better that day is. It's all good (except when it's not and even then it's 100% better than it was)
Jah Bless
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Life Is Short
Posts: 2,017
Hi cuppycake.....welcome to SoberRecovery, you've been blessed finding this gang, they are the the most awesome teachers around. We come packed with lots of love for you. 
I'm wishing you all the best in your journey to recovery and FREEDOM. Now grab hold of our hands.
Love and hugs......Denise
I'm wishing you all the best in your journey to recovery and FREEDOM. Now grab hold of our hands.
Love and hugs......Denise
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Hello Cuppycake--Welcome to SR. I am Laura and I am an alcoholic. You have found a wonderful place. You CAN break the cycle. Wishing you the best and looking forward to getting to know you.
Hugs--
Hugs--
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
Hi Cuppycake,
Welcome to SR. The people here are wonderful. There is alot of support here. Like Denise said, grab hold of our hands and let us help you along the way. It does get better. The first few days are the worst, but you can make it. Many of us here have. And those who don't, they still keep coming until they can. I agree with Ted, also. Get back to AA. They will welcome you with open arms and warm thoughts.
Love and Hugs...Sherry
Welcome to SR. The people here are wonderful. There is alot of support here. Like Denise said, grab hold of our hands and let us help you along the way. It does get better. The first few days are the worst, but you can make it. Many of us here have. And those who don't, they still keep coming until they can. I agree with Ted, also. Get back to AA. They will welcome you with open arms and warm thoughts.
Love and Hugs...Sherry
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Good Ole' Rocky Top!
Posts: 3,540
((((((((Cuppycake))))))))
Welcome to SR. This is a great place with a lot of wonderful people that are very supportive. My name is Ang and I am an alcoholic. Welcome!
Love,
Ang
:smlove2: :smlove2: :smlove2:
Welcome to SR. This is a great place with a lot of wonderful people that are very supportive. My name is Ang and I am an alcoholic. Welcome!
Love,
Ang
:smlove2: :smlove2: :smlove2:
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hot Springs Arkansas
Posts: 19
Welcome cuppycake! I just love your name "cuppycake." I could name a new puppy that! Keep coming back and reading posts. There seems to be a lot of very experienced recovering alcoholics here. I have just been posting the last few weeks, but reading for several months. I feel it has helped me tremendously.
Sherry Lassie
Sherry Lassie
Ben's Papa
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Chesapeake,VA
Posts: 970
Hi and welcome cuppycake.I'm not too far from you,down here in Tidewater.Found a lot of solace and comfort on this forum.I know you will too.Hang in there.There's so much more to see with a clear head.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: williamsburg virginia
Posts: 19
stumbling blocks
woah tonights going to be a long night--
I want to take a drink so bad right now--I just blew up at my mom for something insanely stupid and Im sitting here huddled over a bag of pretzles like a squirrel workin on the last acorn on earth.
Ive been on the edge all day--having not slept all night...
this is the kind of stir crazy thinking that sends me right back to square one every time...
gotta stay focused--
send out some good vibes my way folks---Im on the slippery slopes!!
I want to take a drink so bad right now--I just blew up at my mom for something insanely stupid and Im sitting here huddled over a bag of pretzles like a squirrel workin on the last acorn on earth.
Ive been on the edge all day--having not slept all night...
this is the kind of stir crazy thinking that sends me right back to square one every time...
gotta stay focused--
send out some good vibes my way folks---Im on the slippery slopes!!
Last edited by cuppycake; 11-01-2004 at 03:40 PM. Reason: grammer
My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 338
You need to hear this:
DON'T DRINK!
There, I feel better now, hope you do too.
There's lots of long-term sobriety in AA. I've got over 15 years, and at some meetings, I'm the new kid on the block. But if I remember my last drink, it will stay my *last* drink. My job is to stay sober until I die of something else. I'm a long haul truck driver. The way people drive nowadays, any trip could be my last. Or I could live to be 100 or more. Whenever my time comes, I hope I have my current sobriety date.
Temper is a problem for me too. Presumably, your mother loves you. If she doesn't already know, tell her what you're going through. Suggest Al-Anon. Keep communicating. Don't underestimate her. She probably knows a lot more about you than you think she does.
Stay away from slippery places.
About insomnia: you're living one day at a time now. When you go to bed, you're done. Time to idle the engine. Nothing to do til the alarm goes off. If you hear it, get up, turn it off, and go do whatever you can that day. Don't live your whole life every minute.
I've never suffered insomnia, any experiences with it never lasted more than a few hours. But I have had the racing mind. I can start a fight in an empty house. I can yell at people I haven't seen in years. I can spend hours planning the future. Every night when I go to bed I have to consciously shut down, relax, quiet myself, breathe deeply, let it go. Try it, it might work.
I also encourage you to pray.
Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
DON'T DRINK!
There, I feel better now, hope you do too.
There's lots of long-term sobriety in AA. I've got over 15 years, and at some meetings, I'm the new kid on the block. But if I remember my last drink, it will stay my *last* drink. My job is to stay sober until I die of something else. I'm a long haul truck driver. The way people drive nowadays, any trip could be my last. Or I could live to be 100 or more. Whenever my time comes, I hope I have my current sobriety date.
Temper is a problem for me too. Presumably, your mother loves you. If she doesn't already know, tell her what you're going through. Suggest Al-Anon. Keep communicating. Don't underestimate her. She probably knows a lot more about you than you think she does.
Stay away from slippery places.
About insomnia: you're living one day at a time now. When you go to bed, you're done. Time to idle the engine. Nothing to do til the alarm goes off. If you hear it, get up, turn it off, and go do whatever you can that day. Don't live your whole life every minute.
I've never suffered insomnia, any experiences with it never lasted more than a few hours. But I have had the racing mind. I can start a fight in an empty house. I can yell at people I haven't seen in years. I can spend hours planning the future. Every night when I go to bed I have to consciously shut down, relax, quiet myself, breathe deeply, let it go. Try it, it might work.
I also encourage you to pray.
Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Worcester, MA
Posts: 45
ninthchance
undefined
Originally Posted by cuppycake
hello--new kid kid on the block here---although I was never a member of the band I may have shared a similar haircut at one point in my youth.Which is not quite as frightening as their music but close.
I just turned 30 and have been struggling with alcohol since I was 15. Ive never been arrested or had any moments of chasing my moonshine with turpentine--but the despair and suicidal thinking Ive experienced has been far worse in my opinion than a night in the can or mistaking the vodka for kerosene. looking to break the tape and start a new life.
ok its Halloween and I have wicked insomnia--Im so used to drinking myself to sleep that now I dont know what to do with myself--
it feels good though----kind of exciting----maybe Ill remember my dreams for once!!thats something to stay sober in itself!
holla at me --- sos at least Im not all by myself on this big internet thing
I just turned 30 and have been struggling with alcohol since I was 15. Ive never been arrested or had any moments of chasing my moonshine with turpentine--but the despair and suicidal thinking Ive experienced has been far worse in my opinion than a night in the can or mistaking the vodka for kerosene. looking to break the tape and start a new life.
ok its Halloween and I have wicked insomnia--Im so used to drinking myself to sleep that now I dont know what to do with myself--
it feels good though----kind of exciting----maybe Ill remember my dreams for once!!thats something to stay sober in itself!
holla at me --- sos at least Im not all by myself on this big internet thing
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Worcester, MA
Posts: 45
i just want to meet some new friends....i'm going through a really hard time right now and i need some help....i've been drinking way tooo much and i would likefor some one to tell me how they made it through.....please help me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: williamsburg virginia
Posts: 19
hey guys---
just got back from my first AA meeting in 2 years---it helped loads--
even though the urge to drink has been clingin on me all day--I dont think I would have nearly as much strength to shake it off if I hadnt gone tonight.
I saw a lot of tired faces--and I heard some heart wrenching stories--
but behind each one was a message of strength, courage and hope.
All you veterans of AA--in a way youre like a drug to someone like me...youre on the other side and I want that so bad--and right now at this moment--I want it more than I want a drink--I want to experience life without the need or desire to artificially color it and to force fit it into the shape I want it to be....I know it takes time--but its the addict in me thats so impatient...
its funny the concept of "the addict"----its like youre two people living in the same house--and when you decide that you want the addict to move out..its like...theres going to be a fight!
ouch!Oofff!BAM!KONK!
just got back from my first AA meeting in 2 years---it helped loads--
even though the urge to drink has been clingin on me all day--I dont think I would have nearly as much strength to shake it off if I hadnt gone tonight.
I saw a lot of tired faces--and I heard some heart wrenching stories--
but behind each one was a message of strength, courage and hope.
All you veterans of AA--in a way youre like a drug to someone like me...youre on the other side and I want that so bad--and right now at this moment--I want it more than I want a drink--I want to experience life without the need or desire to artificially color it and to force fit it into the shape I want it to be....I know it takes time--but its the addict in me thats so impatient...
its funny the concept of "the addict"----its like youre two people living in the same house--and when you decide that you want the addict to move out..its like...theres going to be a fight!
ouch!Oofff!BAM!KONK!
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
its funny the concept of "the addict"----its like youre two people living in the same house--and when you decide that you want the addict to move out..its like...theres going to be a fight!
Ninthchance--Glad you are here. You might try starting a new thread. I'm afraid people won't see your post here. Welcome to SR. It is a great place.
Hugs to all--
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: williamsburg virginia
Posts: 19
just wanted to add one more thing...
ninethchance---hang in there--Im pullin for ya!Even though were both sorta just entering sobriety boot camp here--Ill be right here to high five ya when you hurdle those fences and defuse those bombs and whatever else they do in combat boots...
TED-- I LOVE THAT YOU WRITE IN ALL CAPS AND THAT YOU HAVE THAT FOOTBALL HELMET AVATAR. I CAN SEE YOU AS THE ULTIMATE LIFE COACH SCREAMIN "MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!OK YOURE GONNA GET SOBER AND YOURE LIFE IS GOING TO BE AWESOME AND YOURE TOTALLY GOING TO SCOOOORE!!"
thanks Ted---you made me smile!
everyone else--thanks for bein here on this board--yall are awesome and Im so grateful!
ok...9:58 and counting.....tick tock tick tock
TED-- I LOVE THAT YOU WRITE IN ALL CAPS AND THAT YOU HAVE THAT FOOTBALL HELMET AVATAR. I CAN SEE YOU AS THE ULTIMATE LIFE COACH SCREAMIN "MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!OK YOURE GONNA GET SOBER AND YOURE LIFE IS GOING TO BE AWESOME AND YOURE TOTALLY GOING TO SCOOOORE!!"
thanks Ted---you made me smile!
everyone else--thanks for bein here on this board--yall are awesome and Im so grateful!
ok...9:58 and counting.....tick tock tick tock
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