phlowing

I'm coming up on 2 and half years since my last drink. I personally don't go to meetings or have any close friends that have become sober, so I don't talk about it alot. Over the holidays I visited with some old college friends, real friends-for-life I share everything with. They all separately asked if I was still sober, and I was proud to say "Yes, 2 and a half years", and even talked about how bad it got for the first time in a long time (when I mentioned hiding plastic vodka bottles like gold, my stomach turned).

I've reached a point where if a single hint of an urge pops up, I don't even have to think it over. An immediate mental knee jerk instinct kicks in and shuts it down. Whatever the problem is, it's not as bad as figuring when/how/where Im going to get next fix. Drinking is not my reality anymore. Reality is I can't have 1, and I can never change that reality, so why waste the short amount of time I have here fretting over it. Reality is all we got!

I don't think of myself as soley someone in recovery or an alcoholic anymore, b/c I'm finally growing up and getting to know myself. I am not a slave anymore. This year alone I've signed up for my first marathon and about to sign a lease on an an apartment in a middle-of- know-where town (always wanted to live in the woods for at least a year ) I considered these things out of my reach and not possible when I was active. I could go on and on about this, but wanted those struggling to know it gets better when you stop and make a plan to commit, whatever that looks like is for you. It sucks and it's the hardest, most terrifying thing at first, I know, trust me. But allow time to pass. Bet patient. Do whatever works for you. It is so worth it!!

Rodney18

This is a wonderful post
I’m a month in and I had a lightning bolt feeling hit me when I decided to stop
and every time I’ve had an urge some part of me has said “No”
Mysterious to me, but whatever it is it’s consistent

thomas11

Congratulations on your sober time and I agree with you regarding your current attitude towards drinking. Being an active alcoholic is a lot of damn work. Always planning on the next drink or recovering. Terrible existence.

Done4today

Congratulations phlowing,

My recovery feels very similar to your post. I do work a program through AA but I know I don't need it. It's my insurance policy. It's amazing to feel this way knowing we can do whatever we want as long as we don't pick up that first one.

Readygo

Thank you for your post. I’m a week since my last drink and it’s hard, very hard. Especially for me because no one knows I’m done because no one thinks I have an issue. So it’s like this uphill battle without any external pressures. The biggest “buzz” I get right now of any change in mental state is from coffee so it’s been hard at the moment of committing to NEVER doing it again but like people have said it’s a hard existence and takes up so much mental energy. Justifying, planing, worrying that it’s an issue. I stopped because I could see where it was going and i don’t want that kind of life or health issues if I can help it. This post is very encouraging that a life with no alcohol can be just as if not more so rewarding. Thank you!

least

Thank you for an inspiring and hopeful post. And congrats on 2 and a half years sober!