I don’t know my husband anymore
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1
I don’t know my husband anymore
Hello
my husband and I have been together 10 years married 3 in March. We have four kids together. He was out late gambling at first so he said then he started asking for more money behaving strangely and secretively . He would wake up in the middle of the night and ask go out to find a cigarette when all the stores were closed and then come back five hours later or not at all. I told him I needed him to move out we fought a lot and slept all day while I had to do everything. I said mean things I threw things cause I was frustrated I tried to change my approach once I found out it was drugs . I hear on the street and I bought a drug test from cvs . He cried and promised to go to rehab which him checked out of after a day or two on more than one occasion. He was almost killed in a bar fight they ran him over with a car and then he was stabbed 5 months later both times he was in icu. I tried talking nice yelling screaming slapping nothing worked the last time I saw him he was high and basically said he didn’t care anymore if I left which hurt it turned into an argument and he chocked me and every time I got loose he kept charging me . He broke my iPhone 7 because his tv got broken in the scuffle and it said it was over . I got a new phone and number the same day the next I got an order of protection I don’t think he’ll come here it seems like he hates me and even when we were on good terms he was jealous of my car school and work . He tried to isolate me he went through my stuff and he treated me like a child I did what I wanted it was just normal stuff but he would bug out when I got caught . His family enables him paying off his debt allowing him to sleep all day not working or helping me with the kids .his care taker is a helicopter parent she still cooks his meal washes his clothes gives him money and plays dumb to the situation. His family doesn’t like me because we argue and fight a lot and my family doesn’t like him because I take care of all the kids while going to work and school . He gambled drinks does cocaine and recently Xanax I don’t know what else . I still love him didn’t want it to end this way my fear is hell just get worst with out me . I thought that I could help him I thought my love could save him nobody understands and I always leave and he comes to find me no one gets why I couldn’t let go I know I have to now and I don’t think he will come back this time but I didn’t think he’d choke me either and that day he was on Xanax which I didn’t know he took he was in a vegetable like state for like 50 minutes just blinking and moving his lips speaking a few random words. I know I have to stay away from him but I’m hurting I feel better with each passing day but I still think about it a lot.
my husband and I have been together 10 years married 3 in March. We have four kids together. He was out late gambling at first so he said then he started asking for more money behaving strangely and secretively . He would wake up in the middle of the night and ask go out to find a cigarette when all the stores were closed and then come back five hours later or not at all. I told him I needed him to move out we fought a lot and slept all day while I had to do everything. I said mean things I threw things cause I was frustrated I tried to change my approach once I found out it was drugs . I hear on the street and I bought a drug test from cvs . He cried and promised to go to rehab which him checked out of after a day or two on more than one occasion. He was almost killed in a bar fight they ran him over with a car and then he was stabbed 5 months later both times he was in icu. I tried talking nice yelling screaming slapping nothing worked the last time I saw him he was high and basically said he didn’t care anymore if I left which hurt it turned into an argument and he chocked me and every time I got loose he kept charging me . He broke my iPhone 7 because his tv got broken in the scuffle and it said it was over . I got a new phone and number the same day the next I got an order of protection I don’t think he’ll come here it seems like he hates me and even when we were on good terms he was jealous of my car school and work . He tried to isolate me he went through my stuff and he treated me like a child I did what I wanted it was just normal stuff but he would bug out when I got caught . His family enables him paying off his debt allowing him to sleep all day not working or helping me with the kids .his care taker is a helicopter parent she still cooks his meal washes his clothes gives him money and plays dumb to the situation. His family doesn’t like me because we argue and fight a lot and my family doesn’t like him because I take care of all the kids while going to work and school . He gambled drinks does cocaine and recently Xanax I don’t know what else . I still love him didn’t want it to end this way my fear is hell just get worst with out me . I thought that I could help him I thought my love could save him nobody understands and I always leave and he comes to find me no one gets why I couldn’t let go I know I have to now and I don’t think he will come back this time but I didn’t think he’d choke me either and that day he was on Xanax which I didn’t know he took he was in a vegetable like state for like 50 minutes just blinking and moving his lips speaking a few random words. I know I have to stay away from him but I’m hurting I feel better with each passing day but I still think about it a lot.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
H, Tnffi.
Welcome.
It sounds like a very tough situation for you.
Just remember the 3 Cs: didn’t cause it, can’t control it, can’t cure it.
I hope you have some family support?
Good luck and good thoughts.
Welcome.
It sounds like a very tough situation for you.
Just remember the 3 Cs: didn’t cause it, can’t control it, can’t cure it.
I hope you have some family support?
Good luck and good thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
He was almost killed in a bar fight they ran him over with a car and then he was stabbed 5 months later both times he was in icu. I tried talking nice yelling screaming slapping nothing worked the last time I saw him he was high and basically said he didn’t care anymore if I left which hurt it turned into an argument and he chocked me and every time I got loose he kept charging me . He broke my iPhone 7 because his tv got broken in the scuffle and it said it was over .
that is some deeply scary disturbing stuff there. he is violent. you have hit him. he tried to strangle you. things get broken.
you mention worrying he will get worse "without" you.......isn't it already bad enough? this is more than JUST a drinking problem. or JUST a drug problem.
let him be home with his mommy to cut up his food and do his laundry. let her enable him. keep yourself and your children SAFE. he is NOT safe.
that is some deeply scary disturbing stuff there. he is violent. you have hit him. he tried to strangle you. things get broken.
you mention worrying he will get worse "without" you.......isn't it already bad enough? this is more than JUST a drinking problem. or JUST a drug problem.
let him be home with his mommy to cut up his food and do his laundry. let her enable him. keep yourself and your children SAFE. he is NOT safe.
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
If someone tries to choke you, they are advertising their ability to KILL you. Breaking your property is also abuse. People who do that are trying to scare you into submission. Please get away... even if it's a short time (3 or 4 weeks) so that you can really think about what his happening.
This is more than than addiction here, this is domestic abuse/violence. Agree with Anivilhead.
This is more than than addiction here, this is domestic abuse/violence. Agree with Anivilhead.
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
"Please get away... even if it's a short time (3 or 4 weeks) so that you can really think about what his happening. "
Sorry... meant to write "what IS happening" not "what his happening."
Sorry... meant to write "what IS happening" not "what his happening."
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