Lonewolf22

Today I feel pretty frustrated. Basically over the last year almost I've struggled to maintain attending appointments regularly to the recovery cente I signed up to.
I'm frustrated for the reason that they would not prescribe me medication directly and sort of brush my suggestion under the carpet by telling me to keep coming to the centre and we will consider that later.
The problem is is that the recovery centre is in town where pubs and access to alcohol is everywhere. So everytime I go to the recovery centre I risk falling back into drinking. This seems absolutely nonsensical to me from the recovery centres perspective in their denying me of medication that will help prevent me from picking up a drink. I feel like my alcohol issue could have been resolved by now if I was prescribed drugs.

The last time I went to the recovery centre, she asked me do I really want to stop drinking? I was actually offended by that. I mean what sort of question is that? Just because I'm struggling to stop doesn't mean I don't want to stop. Anyway plan on giving them a ring tomorrow to talk to my worker about meds again and try and get my point across how I think it is important for me at this moment where I don't feel strong enough to go to town.

Dee74

Hi lonewolf

I have no experience with recovery centres or meds.

Without knowing the drugs involved, the centre may have a policy of making it's clients come into the facility for several reasons.

It safeguards their role in doling out meds while also diminishing the chance of people abusing the medication, and it illustrates your willingness to do whatever it takes I guess?

I'm not sure how far you'll get with the pubs and clubs all around me argument to be honest.

If it's like Australia there's an off licence on every corner just about.

D

Lonewolf22

Yep I understand that they will want to see willingness but I have tried what they have suggested by going into town and stopping to think as to what my process of thinking is that time and taking a breather yet it seems I am unable to do so right now. It's like I'm on autopilot.

Now I get so frustrated about whether to risk going to town or not because almost every time I do I go off the rails on the drink. This ends up with me losing things, making a lot of enemies and then I isolate myself which leads to me wanting to drink more so. I just feel I need a little helping hand in breaking this cycle. If I can break this cycle then I can focus on my recovery and not worry so much as to whether to go to town or not because I know it is a huge risk. So I get scared of going to recovery centre knowing straight after there is a very strong likelihood I either buy drink or go to the pub. Just feel really frustrated at their lack of willingness to support me whilst expecting me to battle through all these triggers worsened by the fact I get anxious when I leave the house.

Lonewolf22

I want to be able to go to town and not drink more than anything but even when I've convinced myself I can, I usually don't.

MindfulMan

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

You can’t change the recovery centre’s policy, but you can change whether you drink or not.

Is someone holding a gun to your head and forcing you to walk into a pub and order a drink?

Are you doing anything to curb your cravings when you go into town? Attend a 12 Step meeting of whatever flavor that you need? Speak to a counselor at your center about what you need to do about your uncontrollable cravings? Ring up a sober friend to help you through this? Play the tape in your head as to what happens after you sip that first drink? Distract yourself with a book or game on your phone? Take your medication at the center as soon as it’s dispensed?

Etc?

Practice mindful serenity, courage, and wisdom.

Nobody else can stop you from drinking if that’s what you have decided to do and take no personal responsibility in getting and staying sober.

Lonewolf22

But if I could change whether I drink or not, I wouldn't be seeking help. That is why I haven't got any further ahead. There is a lot of research to show that decision-making both from mental health and alcohol addiction is damaged.

I know it will get better over time but for now it is a serious issue with me that I often act on impulse.

Hopefully being on here will give me more food for thought and a lot of time to reflect and hopefully make me think twice about picking up a drink.

Lonewolf22

I think I'm going to look in to alternative ways of reducing cravings, maybe if I add things into my diet, it will help me, if even just a little.

Dee74

hi lonewolf

I don't think there's any one here who hasn't had to work damn hard at not
drinking, or feeling the desire to drink, but not giving into that desire.

we all been there - I didn't think I would ever be the kind of guy who could resist temptation either, but I learnt a few new tricks here.

for a long time, I felt temptation and I drank, but I changed and I believe you can too

Fair or not, the recovery centre is very unlikely to change its position so really the only other alternative (besides you drinking) is you learning how to be around temptation and not give in.

here's some great tips on cravings::

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

and here some ideas on recovery action plans

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

D

Bunny211

Stopping drinking is very hard.

I slammed my head against the wall in frustration when I quit -- because I wanted to drink SO BADLY.

Every time I tried medication to help me quit I blamed my drinking on the medication that "didn't work" when the bottom line was....quitting drinking was the hardest thing I ever had to do and when I was finally ready to go through all that pain and torment and not pick up a drink NO MATTER WHAT....I stayed sober.

It has been my experience that medication does not help - it's a crutch. I've never seen it work for anyone else either. What works is not picking up a drink no matter how much agony you are in. Just don't do it.

Getting sober will take 100% of your energy for the first year. Sorry to sound harsh...but this is just how it is. I don't sugar coat things. I've seen too many people die. Yeah, early sobriety sucks but you know what sucks worse? Being on the slab. Think about it.

Anna

Yes, the hardest thing I've ever done.

Just know that you can get through this!

Stronger2017

Have you considered some kind of talk therapy lonewolf? I’ve found it pretty useful in helping me get some kind of perspective on my issues. I started going the week I got sober.

LBrain

I'm guessing by your word use that you are east of the Atlantic ocean. Since I am not familiar with the policies outside of the USA I cannot advise on such matters. I bolded something from your post that is a tell. It is similar to what many in the United States use as an excuse. I call it the "I have a disease" excuse.

You mentioned that you were asked if you really want to quit. And of course the response is always, "Would I be here if I didn't want to quit?" I believe it was more of a rhetorical question. Perhaps the question should be rephrased. How serious are you about wanting to quit? Are you willing to accept the lifestyle changes needed in order to succeed? What is your decision for wanting to quit based upon? etc.

If you think there is a magic pill that will "cure" your alcoholism/addiction you are mistaken. Sure there are medications that can help ease the transition from alcohol dependency to alcohol free existence. But I'm sure you just can't decide some medication is all you need. People are trained and certified on such matters. They see hundreds of people come through the door that want an instant fix who think some magic elixir is all they need. When they are confronted with the question, "Do you really want to quit?" they are offended.
I will tell you this though, every "program of recovery" works 100% of the time if the person "really wants to quit". I've heard it repeated very often in "meetings" and other settings about a person when the observers state, "He's not ready yet." Or, "Come back when you're ready." So it is widely known that no matter what type of program (group sessions/meetings, one-to-one counseling, medical intervention etc.) that one chooses to aid them in their quest to 'quit the drink', until they are "ready" they will fail. This goes back to the question, "Do you really want to quit?" Maybe the person should have asked you, "Are you ready to quit?"

Are you ready to quit?

Forward12

I would suggest seeing a therapist, you really can't have too much help when it comes to the battle. They likely will prescribe you meds if they see fit, perhaps there are also some other mental health issues going on.

Lonewolf22

I don't ascribe to the 'one box fits all' idea of recovery LBrain. I have done my own research and have a good idea of what I need to in place that would greatly help.

I don't see a magic formula to getting off the drink neither but I see practical steps towards getting away from alcohol and things that could reduce recovery time and put me at far less risk of relapsing.

If it was all about not making excuse and just stop drinking there would be no AA, no recovery centres, no SMART, no very helpful online communities or rehabs for that matter.

biminiblue

Nothing wrong with asking for help, sometimes it's exactly the right thing to do when we fail. Sounds like you are really seeking help, and that's good.

Have you tried prayer? If you feel something outside yourself is going to give you the magic, then go to the Top. Ask, on your knees, for the strength to do this. That's what I did and it worked. In early days I asked a thousand times a day, by saying that Serenity Prayer quoted by MindfulMan above. Just focusing on something that is good can set my thinking in a right direction. I don't know why or how it works, but it does.

Good thing is you can use prayer in any situation, in front of any trigger or problem life throws at you.

I've taken pills for things in the past, and it just adds another layer of problems and side effects. This thing is a tough nut to crack but if all of us made it, you can too.

andyh

there are many different boxes, but they all contain a strong desire & commitment to stop drinking.

if/when you do get some meds, maybe you'll find they help a little with cravings, but they're not going to flick a switch, make you "normal" & let you live a sober life without any effort. I can't help thinking that when this happens you'll be on to the next thing to fixate on as to why you can't not drink.

Hawkeye13

The first few weeks / months were just really really hard.
Sometimes it felt impossible, but the only way out of addiction is through.

My husband drank / drinks and alcohol has been in my house for years.
Do I like walking by it? No. Is it tempting? Yes, often very much so.
And that's in my house. I also face it everywhere I go in the community
and in social situations. That's how it is, unfortunately.

The way I got quit was to say "no matter what, no matter why,
no matter how many temptations are put my way, no booze for 6 months.

By the time the six months was up, I signed on for sobriety.
I think you are right about eating healthy food,
and I also put in a power exercise routine and started new hobbies
to fill the time.

It is do-able. I was really drinking hard and daily when I quit,
I'm sure I had lots of neurological damage and did have huge
issues making decisions, being anxious and paranoid, sleeplessness,
and so on. But the booze was only hurting and delaying me further.

It can be done if you are really willing and ready to go all in no matter what--
Make 2018 your best year ever Lonewolf

PennyLane76

Meds can be a kick start to sobriety, not always of course. I've seen it here, along with blanket statements how bad meds are.

That decision needs to be the patient and the Dr. .

I have even read here how horrible antidepressants are. Not saying this thread in particular. They may have saved someone's life!

Yes we have to work on and overcome our triggers,on meds or not. Have plans in place when triggered by events, places, feelings whatever.

But for some meds can help. Shouldn't be a stigma attached to that.

Keep posting, that helps.

Hawkeye13

I think part of the issue with meds, particularly benzos, which are often used
to ease detox, is the danger of cross-addiction for already addictive personalities.

I certainly was concerned about this when I quit.
I think they have an important place in treatment,
but only for limited times of withdrawals for most of us.

Of course, this is a case-by-case thing, but over the years
I've heard so many horror stories of how people got additcted
to benzos and started drinking again, I think it is wise to be cautious.

LBrain

PennyLane, I hope my comments weren't construed as being against the use of medically prescribed aids. My sentiments seem to fall on what many know to be true throughout the history of alcohol addiction. And that is, no matter what, the person is going to have to take responsible action in order to succeed. I am not against 'medicines' to aid in the process, I am just saying that 'medicines' alone are not the final answer.
Antabuse (sp?) for example: I've known people who used it to stop drinking, then decided to quit using it because it interfered with their drinking. Same can be said for ANY "medicine" to help overcome alcohol. When the medicine is gone are you going to drink again? It is entirely up to the person. So yes, prescribed medicines can and should be used in some cases. But unless the person is ready and willing to alter their behaviors and accept the reality of the situation, no medicine alone will help at all, regardless of which "box" you choose.