LoveForMe

I went 203 days without alcohol and then decided to drink on Christmas Eve. Now... I guess I'm on day 8, but I haven't really been counting. Although, I had already stopped obsessing about the days sometime in the 100's. This is a weird thing to be unsure about. I don't feel like I'm on day 8... But definitely don't deserve to be passed day 203. It might be silly but it's what i had used to track my progress... thanks for reading. Any input would be appreciated😁

soberandhonest

What is important is that you aren't drinking today. To the extent that there is importance in counting days, what is most important is that the number is not zero. With respect to being unsure, I don't want to sound harsh but there should not be any confusion. You are on Day 8. Those 203 days still count for something and being sober for 210 out of 211 days is really fantastic, but in fairness to yourself, you are on Day 8. Anything else excuses your relapse and sets you up for future relapses. Again, though, the most important thing is that you got right back on the upward bound elevator. Don't be discouraged, be proud of what you have done, learn from your mistake, and resolve to never relapse again.

LoveForMe

I'm sorry... I guess I'm just unsure if I should be caring about the days so much... like you had mentioned, as long as I'm not drinking today.

Maybe I have moved on to a different stage of my recovery. But I'm nervous that I'm not that bothered I'm back at day 8.🤔

LoveForMe

Thank you for your response and encouraging
Words 😊

MidnightRider

I dunno... I used to count days. Was obsessed by it.

But really what matters most to me is today.

I find most comfort in knowing that I am in "Recovery". ... Recovery is not sobriety.

Drinking 1 day out of 200... doesn't take anything away from the accomplishment.. Hope that makes sense.

DarklingSong

I relapsed for 5 days after 187 days sober. All I can say is it doesn't feel like Day 8 for me either. This Day 8 is just not the same as the first Day 8. Back then I was in the throes of severe anxiety and felt terrified about my prospects of staying sober, even for a few weeks. So yes, for me this is new territory. I managed 6 months sober. I then wanted to drink for relief etc. etc. I saw for myself that it didn't help....it made things worse. I know i was warned thats how it would be on SR but it just didn't sink in until I felt the truth of it myself. The relapse was devastating but I actually feel much stronger in the last two days. I went back out and found nothing but misery there. I feel ready to resume the journey.....it doesn't feel that I am starting from scratch, so yeah it is kind of odd to say Day 8 right now, but maybe it is not the most important thing. I do intend to keep counting though as it would also be strange not to at this stage!!

biminiblue

Thanks, Darkling. We all need to hear that there is no pleasure, only misery.

LoveForMe, I quit for many years, but I didn't really make a big deal about it. I just didn't drink. Didn't go to AA or have anyone who would be giving me Atta-girls for doing the right thing (not drinking.)

When I quit this last time I counted days for the first 90 and then I stopped. I still know my quit date - but I don't really give it a lot of thought other than on the actual yearly date.

Just don't use this as an excuse to do it again. Losing sober time has consequences and continuous sober time is the only thing that actually works for people with a drink problem. Otherwise it becomes, "Oh, well I'll just have some on my birthday. Um. Holidays, yeah - and vacations. Well, maybe weekends. Okay, Wednesday and weekends. I'll just have a couple. Well, maybe one more."

...and here you are back on SR wondering what happened.

theVman31

Day 8 is good your back on track.
Think about this like real long and real hard "and then decided to drink on Christmas Eve. "

Take care and happy 2018
V.

JustTony

If you ignore a relapse - it can encourage another.

If you pay too much importance to one relapse in hundreds of days - it can be soul destroying - and encourage another.

Find that balance if you can? A relapse is unfortunate. Irritating. Tiresome. But not terminal - UNLESS you follow it quickly with another.

Regards,

JT

DarklingSong

That seems spot on to me.
Thanks Tony.

EliL

I can tell you through experience that no one cares except you so you are free to do as you wish Whatever you feel happy with it it keeps you sober works for me. If someone doesn’t like it then that’s their problem.

Dee74

Hi LoveForMe

I often suggest people think in terms of Recovery version 2.0 - it's 8 days again perhaps but no one loses all they learned or accomplished the first time around.

I think counting days can be useful sometimes, but day counts as motivation may not always be enough - for me the sober life I was building and the sober me I was becoming was the motivation, not that day I was on?

why do you think you're not caring as much as you might about being on day 8 again?

D

LoveForMe

Thank you everyone for your responses😊

I am so ready to work harder on my recovery. I learned a lot from this relapse. Honestly, though I'm lucky, I didn't have too much consequence this time around. But there wasn't an ounce of joy or relief or anything anyone drinks for, unless they are drinking for misery...😞

LoveForMe

Maybe because it's like you said, the number of days arent as much of a motivator as how well things are going in my life since I've quit drinking.?? Even when I'm feeling hopeless, I know my life is finally falling back into place and that alcohol never has anything good to offer...

I just get nervous cause I never know when the urge is going to hit. I change into a completely different person even before I drink. I'm heartless and cold😔 I don't want my low count of days to become a "good" reason to drink...