TOPIC: Let's Talk About Slipping
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
TOPIC: Let's Talk About Slipping
There is a rationalization about not getting sober
or making the program and it goes something like
this.......
Harry over there has slipped over 10 times before
he made it. So what if i slipped a few times?
What is overlooked is that the last time Jerry
slipped, he slipped into a coffin. The last time
Julie slipped, her baby burned to death, due to
her negligence. The last time Beth slipped, she
got poisoned and became blind. Then the last
time Dean slipped, he tried to kill his wife and
nearly did.
See folks, we're not playing games here.
It's not just about my life but the lives of
other i endanger by playing loaded games.
Have you stopped slipping?
or making the program and it goes something like
this.......
Harry over there has slipped over 10 times before
he made it. So what if i slipped a few times?
What is overlooked is that the last time Jerry
slipped, he slipped into a coffin. The last time
Julie slipped, her baby burned to death, due to
her negligence. The last time Beth slipped, she
got poisoned and became blind. Then the last
time Dean slipped, he tried to kill his wife and
nearly did.
See folks, we're not playing games here.
It's not just about my life but the lives of
other i endanger by playing loaded games.
Have you stopped slipping?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,618
Brilliant post -thanks - certainly gives a lot to think about.
I've always thought 'slip' was too 'friendly and calm' a word, for what could be and often is, a matter of life or death.
Xx
I've always thought 'slip' was too 'friendly and calm' a word, for what could be and often is, a matter of life or death.
Xx
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
thanks Sharon, very powerful post.
I also worry about the use of the word 'slip' It marginalises it somehow. Even trying to say it wasn't a relapse 'just' a slip.
It doesn't matter what we call it - it is drinking and can be a matter of life and death.
I also worry about the use of the word 'slip' It marginalises it somehow. Even trying to say it wasn't a relapse 'just' a slip.
It doesn't matter what we call it - it is drinking and can be a matter of life and death.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Slip is possibly the worst word I ever hear in recovery circles.
It's
Self-delusion.
Denial.
Victim-hood.
....the list goes on of what this four letter word denotes for me.
Replace it with:
"I drank."
That's
Honesty.
Responsibility.
Acceptance.
It's
Self-delusion.
Denial.
Victim-hood.
....the list goes on of what this four letter word denotes for me.
Replace it with:
"I drank."
That's
Honesty.
Responsibility.
Acceptance.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,618
Originally Posted by zenchaser 
I think it should be called what it is. People don't have slips, they have drinks. Although they may slip after having too many drinks.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 131
I’m 46 and have known and do know a tonne of alcoholics (or whatever the preferred label). I like your post theme but is that the norm for a slip/relapse? Does the things you describe happen more than not? In my experience the events you have outlined are rare but do happen. What would be far more the norm is the journey of recovery in which most people can expect set backs and wrong turns.
The problem IMO with sensationalising a return to drinking with phrases like ‘to drink is to die’ etc is if, as most people do, that person relapses they are going to do it hard as they think and have been told many times that they are going to die. Then when they don’t die and the baby isn’t dead etc they then will doubt the validity of wgat they have been told, ie you drink you die etc. and any possible return to the support group who had told them all these things seems quite unlikely which I would have thought is the opposite of what any support group would want to achieve?
Point is sobriety does take an absolute personal commitment and a big willingness to change but I wonder how much fear of the events outlined in your post would really stop someone from drinking. Maybe keep it real so it’s easily relatable by the masses?!
Just my thoughts. Who knows?
The problem IMO with sensationalising a return to drinking with phrases like ‘to drink is to die’ etc is if, as most people do, that person relapses they are going to do it hard as they think and have been told many times that they are going to die. Then when they don’t die and the baby isn’t dead etc they then will doubt the validity of wgat they have been told, ie you drink you die etc. and any possible return to the support group who had told them all these things seems quite unlikely which I would have thought is the opposite of what any support group would want to achieve?
Point is sobriety does take an absolute personal commitment and a big willingness to change but I wonder how much fear of the events outlined in your post would really stop someone from drinking. Maybe keep it real so it’s easily relatable by the masses?!
Just my thoughts. Who knows?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
you drink you die
IF im fortunate.
ive already been responsible for the death of another human while i was drunk.
it can happen again, but if im fortunate ill only kill myself if i chose to drink again
no sensationalizing- just straight up facts
IF im fortunate.
ive already been responsible for the death of another human while i was drunk.
it can happen again, but if im fortunate ill only kill myself if i chose to drink again
no sensationalizing- just straight up facts
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
I think there is a difference between a slip and a full blown relapse.
A slip is a drinking/using episode that is brief and where someone gets right back on the horse.
I think that people are more motivated by positive reinforcement than by negative.
The whole relapse shaming and “if you drink you will die” mentality can keep someone who HAS slipped or relapsed in a negative place where they may think “Well, I’ve failed and blown my sobriety now, I might as well keep drinking.” Rather than being open to the possibility that a relapse is a wrong turn on the road to recovery.
If I have a craving I do two things. I play the tape in my head as to where drinking that one drink, or snorting that one line can lead. I do this in a nonjudgmental way, not that I will be a failure, but very factually and morally neutral that there is a very distinct possibility that I could end up in a place that is as bad or worse than what got me into rehab.
More importantly, I play the positive tape of how hugely better my life has been, and will more likely continue to be if I continue to be if I continue a sober life. Physically, mentally and spiritually. Both things are important.
A slip is a drinking/using episode that is brief and where someone gets right back on the horse.
I think that people are more motivated by positive reinforcement than by negative.
The whole relapse shaming and “if you drink you will die” mentality can keep someone who HAS slipped or relapsed in a negative place where they may think “Well, I’ve failed and blown my sobriety now, I might as well keep drinking.” Rather than being open to the possibility that a relapse is a wrong turn on the road to recovery.
If I have a craving I do two things. I play the tape in my head as to where drinking that one drink, or snorting that one line can lead. I do this in a nonjudgmental way, not that I will be a failure, but very factually and morally neutral that there is a very distinct possibility that I could end up in a place that is as bad or worse than what got me into rehab.
More importantly, I play the positive tape of how hugely better my life has been, and will more likely continue to be if I continue to be if I continue a sober life. Physically, mentally and spiritually. Both things are important.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
Thanks guys for sharing on the topic.
Much appreciated...!!!!
Do things happen like that I wrote about?
Yes, as horrible as it may sound, even worse
as we often read in the news of tragedies that
happen as a result of substance abuse, like recently
several talented music artists whom i thought
were solid in recovery, hung themselves.
A person can have some small amount
of sober time or many years to only return
and try some control drinking or even
using, then bam, something horrible has
occurred.
Maybe a car or motorcycle accident. Falling
asleep at the wheel, driving on the wrong
side of the road, been there done that. Going
thru detox, feeling one has their drinking
under control and then, bam, they take one
sip, one drink, i sniff, puff, shot, then they
are right back on the treadmill with no off
button.
Many have slipped to eventually
realize that alcohol or drugs don't
work or never have worked and remain
sober or clean for the rest of their lives.
Then there are those who cant seem
to stay stopped thinking it will always
be better the next time.
In keeping it simple, slips, or whatever
you wish to label it, by returning to the
drink or drug, numerous times, causing
destruction or chaos, doesn't have to
happen.
There is always a solution if you are
willing and accepting to ask for help.
Much appreciated...!!!!
Do things happen like that I wrote about?
Yes, as horrible as it may sound, even worse
as we often read in the news of tragedies that
happen as a result of substance abuse, like recently
several talented music artists whom i thought
were solid in recovery, hung themselves.
A person can have some small amount
of sober time or many years to only return
and try some control drinking or even
using, then bam, something horrible has
occurred.
Maybe a car or motorcycle accident. Falling
asleep at the wheel, driving on the wrong
side of the road, been there done that. Going
thru detox, feeling one has their drinking
under control and then, bam, they take one
sip, one drink, i sniff, puff, shot, then they
are right back on the treadmill with no off
button.
Many have slipped to eventually
realize that alcohol or drugs don't
work or never have worked and remain
sober or clean for the rest of their lives.
Then there are those who cant seem
to stay stopped thinking it will always
be better the next time.
In keeping it simple, slips, or whatever
you wish to label it, by returning to the
drink or drug, numerous times, causing
destruction or chaos, doesn't have to
happen.
There is always a solution if you are
willing and accepting to ask for help.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
IMO, the term slip marginalizes ownership of the action. I either drink or I don't drink. Even though I view the world through a kaleidoscope of colors, shades, and hues, in this particular instance, there is no grey for me, only black and white.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Mayland
Posts: 80
Originally Posted by nez
IMO, the term slip marginalizes ownership of the action. I either drink or I don't drink. Even though I view the world through a kaleidoscope of colors, shades, and hues, in this particular instance, there is no grey for me, only black and white.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pacific Coast
Posts: 785
Agree that possibly the only absolute in recovery, the only black/white aspect, is abstinence.
The only way to distinguish a "slip" from a full-blown resumption of drinking is from the perspective of long-term abstinence. Otherwise, I could have a "slip" tonight, and another one tomorrow night, and so on forever, without ever admitting to myself that I'd never really stopped drinking.
The only way to distinguish a "slip" from a full-blown resumption of drinking is from the perspective of long-term abstinence. Otherwise, I could have a "slip" tonight, and another one tomorrow night, and so on forever, without ever admitting to myself that I'd never really stopped drinking.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Sometimes I use the term 'slip' here,because I learned it here. After I got trashed at about the 8mo mark and came back here the next morning, I knew I didn't slip. I went there with every intention to get drunk and party. So, I don't slip...I get drunk. I'm not a one-three drink with dinner guy. If I'm going to drink at all, hold my beer and watch this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
Here's a clear message to think about.....
A slip or relapse can provide positive
experience towards not drinking or
using again or another word, abstinence
and a lifetime of recovery.
A relapse/slip brings truth to what
we hear repeated, "don't take that first
drink or drug.". Right?
A slip or relapse can provide positive
experience towards not drinking or
using again or another word, abstinence
and a lifetime of recovery.
A relapse/slip brings truth to what
we hear repeated, "don't take that first
drink or drug.". Right?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Originally Posted by tomsteve
something my sponsor said to me some time ago:
-slips happen on ice and relapse happens on a race track. alcoholics have pre meditated drunks.
-slips happen on ice and relapse happens on a race track. alcoholics have pre meditated drunks.
Words carry a lot importance and how people react to them are very different. To me, honesty is what's most important. I don't see a slip as no big deal. It is a big deal and can lead to a full blown relapse. Recovering from a slip is much easier than going into a relapse. Getting back on track after messing up for a day is a whole different story than drinking for a week or more. Whole different animal and believe me, I know the difference. IMHO, a slip is a signal that a relapse is coming if changes are not made immediately. It's a wake up call. John
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
To me, calling a return to drinking a relapse is incorrect. Relapses happen to people with things like cancer or MS, they have no control over it. Calling a return to drinking a relapse makes it sound like the user had no control over the events and that's not true. There is a whole series of thoughts and actions that lead up to picking up a drink and pouring it down one's throat and the user is in control of ALL of it.
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