TYG2

1st Happy New Year, lets hope it's a good one without any fear.
I've been down this road too many times to count. Too many days in de-tox, two stints in re-hab, two free 2 week vacations in psych ward, even hand-cuffed too many times. Lost every friend I had. BUT the killer is estrangement from my son.
The last 7 days have been torture, not craving but my mind won't shut up for one second....Donna you wasted 10 years..you are a loser...bla, bla. I'm so tired of it, so guilty, hopeless. I can't recall past withdrawal crying or sleeping so much. Perhaps it's cuz if withdrawal was a cakewalk we wouldn't be afraid of the drink/quit cycle? Any thoughts or help might calm me down. Help

Anna

Hi Donna and Welcome,

I'm glad you are ready to stop drinking and live a sober life. I'm sorry for what you have gone through to reach this point, but the main thing is that you are here now. You can make changes and be the Mom and the person you want to be.

I was truly a mess in the first couple of weeks, too. I tried to focus on self-care. I spent a lot of time walking and it helped me to think and to calm my mind. Non-caffeinated teas are a nice way to relax, too.

Hevyn

Donna - I'm so glad you joined us. You're among friends who understand.

You are never alone - and most of us have had similar thoughts. I did many out-of-character things when drinking. I remind myself that wasn't even me. The shame and guilt serve no purpose when we dwell on it. Time to give yourself a break and allow yourself to heal and be free of the misery. Keep talking to us - we care.

TYG2

It's -30 in Edmonton. Car won't start. Have no energy to even bath...ugh. But am drinking tons of herbal tea. Thx for caring Anna. Hopefully in a couple of weeks I won't be so bloody emotional.
p.s. what I've posted so far is only the half of it

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

MyLittleHorsie

No advice, just welcome. And hugs, virtual at least.

TYG2

Thanks Hevyn. But I don't choose to dwell. It's like I can't control these toxic thoughts. I can't even get dressed in the morning. I pray it gets better and can post this misery has abated in a week or so.

nez

Keep reminding yourself that you never have to feel this way again.

These feelings can also be viewed as a great ally because they are helping you to lay the foundation for recovery.

After many failed attempts at sobriety, I finally embraced the gift of desperation and began my recovery process.

Rodney18

About 2 weeks ago I felt the same way
Now at 26 Days I’m much better and the really bad sadness and anxiety has been decreasing every day
I never had it this bad any other time either
I guess I was drinking more than I had
It really sucked but it does get better
Fairly quickly

Hats

Glad your here TYG2, I'm in Edmonton too so I can validate the cold.
Keep moving forward, let out those emotions, you'll feel better & better each and everyday sober.
P.S, it's now only -3 outside. Feels like spring lol

geturfreakon

8 days in and have had a good day after a few truly rotten ones! I realise it will be a tough journey to be where I want to be, but I'm not going back. Stick at it with us TYG! I did loads of exercise today - that really helped.

DontRemember

I think the "Can't/never remember it being this bad/emotional" is because you're accepting where you're at now. It took me a few years to accept and when I did..damn! Worst few weeks ever! But, until I accepted who and what I'd become, I wasn't serious about working at getting/staying sober. Took me way longer than needed with nothing but more problems and this was AFTER I accepted what I was. It's hard work at the start and I still consider myself learning how to live a sober life every day at a year. I don't think I'll ever stop learning,but it's better,for me, than being a drunk.

TYG2

Talk about feeling like a loser....I slept until 2pm and still want to crawl back into bed. I know how nice is it is outside and really WANT to go for a walk except I look like I'm from The Walking Dead. Normal thinking people wouldn't care what they look like. But sadly along with alcoholism there is the joy of Social anxiety disorder. Thanks for your support I'm glad for your success. Perhaps in a day or two this withdrawal will have leveled off a bit. It has to b4 I miss this shorts & T shirt temp. lol

Anna

I'm in the middle of a Canadian winter, too, and I know that, in itself, can be depressing. The days are short, it's too cold to be outside and it's hard. I think taking action of any kind will help you now. Move your body, even it's just doing some basic floor exercises.

TYG2

Thanks!!! Although you have scared me that you're a year sober and still get kinda withdrawal type thoughts. I imagine myself at 1 year and can't see the guilt/regret any better. I suppose and pray your experience of keep learning will show me the way. But do you think it's just acute withdrawal that might be have me so sad and hopeless. Oh yeah you already answered that..

SimplyFree

It’s does get better continually. First two weeks or so, brutal, onto 30 days, still very tough, but for me I stopped having headaches and slept somewhat better. The urges were still there but not as big of a tidal wave. The 60 day seemed much faster than the first 30, 90 days was a good milestone, but I went through a difficult week around a 100 days. All along less moood swings better thinking and a continual improvement to life. You are in the storm right now. People here understand that storm, but it will pass. You will regain your life if you stick with it. It is possible to be a wonderful parent and person! Stay strong!