Canuckleman45

All of a sudden I am struggling. Just had a long chat with my wife about how hard this is to stay sober. No fault of her own she doesn't understand because she doesn't struggle with alcohol. I love her so much.
She suggested I talk to my doctor, but all she will do is prescribe pills. I hate pills. I'm looking foer an excuse to go get beer when the shop opens. I don't want to at all, but I feel its the only way to take away this anxiety, crappy feeling. I feel like total ****

decchemist

Have you accepted that the following is true for you?

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."

I'm not in AA but I believe this first step is necessary for anyone

JustTony

Hi Canuckleman,

This video really helped me to begin my period of sobriety. I don't know if it will help you today? If it doesn't then no offence is intended.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Lz0VOltZKA

PennyLane76

A lot of my drinking was to soften the anxiety. It always makes it worse, you know that and I did too but I would cave and start the cycle again. Its been over a year sober now and its not been easy, but I rarely have urges anymore and they are very fleeting. My anxiety is much better, its manageable.

Do whatever you can not to go to the shop. Give all your money to your wife to hold, drink some tea, run around your house, post here every minute, eat a lot. It's just not worth it. Alcohol is truly poison to us, it wants to kill us. Play the tape through to the end. To how crappy you will feel. How you start the crazy cycle again and how hard it is to stop after A/V wins.

It really does get better, much much better without that poison.

tomsteve

not all feeings are true and ya dont have to act on feelings.
what i believe it is is the mental obsession.
just because i put down the drink didnt mean the obsession i had with alcohol would magically,mysteriously disappear. just because i put down the drink didnt mean i would magically,mysteriously stop feeling like ****. years of drinking the way i did was going to have consequences- one of them being the mental obsession i had to fight my ass off to not let the thoughts control me. some days, one day at a time was too long,so i went down to one hour at a time. some days one hour at a time was too long so i went down to one minute at a time. some days one minute at a time was too long so i went down to one second at a time.
another consequence was i had actions to do to change me if i wanted to recover.
during that time, i was going to AA meetings, reading the big book, praying like crazy, working the steps,not drinking even if my ass fell off, repeat- actions to recover.
eventually, just as promised, i ceased fighting alcohol.no longer had the mental obsession.
well worth the actions and fight.

CreativeThinker

"This too shall pass" Eventually you will not feel the pull towards alcohol. Move through the urge and you will be thankful that you did.

entropy1964

So if my addiction is my inability to cope with life (crappy days) then my recovery is learning to cope, in simplest terms. Everyone has crappy days, they just don't get wasted over it. I have to remind myself that drinking no longer works for me...then I'm just left feeling even crappier....and still no coping mechanisms. Try something different and hang in there. All feelings pass. Trust in the process.

least

Drinking might relieve the anxiety for a bit, but afterward it will come back, worse. Get thru the cravings. Eat something, distract yourself, stay busy. The urge will pass and after enough time sober, the anxiety will lessen.

lola1987

Do not do it. Last night I had the worst cravings I ever had. I mean I was literally climbing the walls. I didn't drink. I pushed through them. I woke up this morning darn proud of myself. Today it is that bit easier knowing I have done it. I'm looking out the window at my neighbours still drinking from New Years celebrations last night. I am going to go and cook some chips. Unhealthy yes but I will do them the slimming world way. Anything to take my mind of it. You can do this. You are stronger then u think

Gabe1980

Please stick with it. You can do it. Eat loads, enough until there is no space for beer. Lay down and do some deep breathing. I know you are early days in this and so am I. It can be done, cravings pass and your feelings will change. A bath really helps me too. Please stick with it! Gabe x

nez

Whenever I employed this strategy, the crappy feeling and anxiety was just replaced by an even crappier feeling and more anxiety of why did I get drunk again.

Daisy39

I think most of us been in your shoes, and can almost feel your struggle as we read your description of it. I’m rooting for you!

One thing I used to do that helped was to make a rule that if I want to drink and feel there is no other alternative, to go for a long walk first. (I listen to podcasts, but peaceful music or even just nothing will work!) It’s not exactly the walking time of year in most places, so bundle up! Or go to the gym if you belong. Move your body. This really helps me with anxiety and also gives me something else to simply DO. I never ended up drinking after doing this. By the time I returned home I simply had lost the urge.

Another suggestion is to buy really good non-alcoholic bottled drinks from the supermarket, fancy stuff if you can swing it. I never used to buy the bottled green juices because they were so expensive, but when I stopped drinking I decided to treat myself and it not only helped me feel healthier but felt kind of decadent. I also started adding frozen fruit to soda and drinking all sorts of other teas and things I hadn’t previously made part of my daily routine. I found that as long as I was drinking stuff I liked it helped me not “drink”!

Anna

I started drinking to deal with feelings of anxiety/depression and it made everything so much worse.

You can deal with anxiety without medication. It's not always easy but you can do it.

TIPS FOR DEALING WITH ANXIETY (the American Assoc for Anxiety & Depression)

Take a Time-Out. Try some yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem can help clear your head.

Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand. Limit caffeine.

Get enough sleep/rest. Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health. Use an iPod or exercise buddy to help you stick to your routine.

Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Belly-Breathing: Sit comfortably with shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Breath in slowly through your nose so that your stomach expands. Tighten stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.

Do your best. Instead of aiming for perfection, which isn’t possible, be proud of however close you get.

Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?

Welcome humour. A good laugh goes a long way.

Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.

Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school or something else you can’t identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed. Look for a pattern.

Talk to someone. Tell friends/family you’re feeling overwhelmed and let them know how they can help. Talk to a professional.

Nonsensical

It's called addiction.

That's how the addiction works. It makes you feel you can't have a happy life without it. It's a lie.

Worst thing you can do if you want that feeling to go away - drink. Ever see a toddler throwing a tantrum because it can't have candy? Want another tantrum later? Give that kid some candy. You'll get another tantrum for sure.

Want your brain to make you feel crappy so you'll give it some alcohol? Give it some alcohol.

That voice in your head telling you that you can't get rid of this anxiety unless you drink is a liar. It can't be reasoned with. It can't be educated. It can't be bullied, shamed, placated, or bargained with.

It must be starved.

It's the only way.
You can do this.

biminiblue

Absolutely what Nonsensical said.

In the meantime, I'll say it again - for these bouts of anxiety - do 50 jumping jacks. Run in place or better yet run outside. Pushups, sit-ups, squats, toe-touches, lunges, shadow boxing, resistance bands: all work to take away that edgy feeling.

Why not buy yourself some kettle bells or dumbells? It works.

Make sure you've eaten. Stay warm. Have a plan.

oh. And breathe. In through your nose - count 4 - out through your mouth - count 4 - repeat.

tekink

just gotta fight through it, the struggles will come and go like ripples spreading out in water. It can take time but that time is well worth spent.

I struggle sometimes, I'm still new at this, my current run is nearly 11 months, before that I couldn't make it past two.

Have you researched PAWS? I found it helpful to understand why we get these ups and downs through recovery.

doggonecarl

You don't drink. Period. You came to that conclusion yourself:

Even when we are telling ourselves that alcohol is the only answer.

MidnightBlue

Hats off to Bimini!

I suffer from anxiety a lot. To the point that I start trembling and disastrous scenarios go wild in my head.

Though I respect all the long-term strategies, I need something to kill it immediately. Instead of acting upon anxiety in my usual way (say, drinking) I have to re-wire my brain to act it in another way (jumping jacks, push-ups, etc.).

Just try it. Personally, my state of mind before and after workout are two different universes.