Feeling out of place
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 5
Feeling out of place
Hi folks...my story. I am an alcoholic who married an alcoholic and my father was an alcoholic. I started drinking when I was 12. The first time I stepped into AA I was 15 after my folks sent me to rehab. I continued to use and got into drugs. I went because I was told I had to go. I continued to use and had a drug overdose landing me in the ER at age 17.
I was scared straight and gave up drugs. I later went off to college. I didn't keep hard liquor on hand because I knew it was tempting, I told myself I didn't need AA, just common sense. Weeks went by without drinking but when I slipped I binged. I had no desire for drugs though.
Between college and age 30 I continued to do well. I was single and controlled what was in the house. I allowed myself to party on weekends and binged...alot.
I met a man who was married to an alcoholic and divorced. I was attracted to him. We dated for 3 years. Although he was a man who alienated me from friends and was jealous as well as possesive. Things didn't work out for us. He broke into my house one night when I started to see another man. I was alone and don't know what he would have done if I wasn't. I pretended to sleep but cracked an eye open enough to see him standing in the bedroom doorway.
The same man when we broke up told me he had sex with me while I was passed out. I felt very angry and overwhelmed because this was someone I loved who turned into a monster. Long story short he stalked me in more ways than one. But was brilliant enough that I had nothing to give the police. I began to drink every day to cope with the fear of being a lone in my home and his unpredicable behavior. I relocated from FL to OK and he ended up moving to OK state as well within a year.
My mid 30's...I'm still drinking...alot. I met my husband. The first year is great. And I have wake up calls that I married an alcoholic. I'm pregnant and bleeding. I can't wake him up. So my neighbor who was a nurse tells me what to do. I convince myself he's afraid of parenthood. We both drink a lot now that we have a healthy son and deal with the exhausting task of parenthood.
We buy a new house. He is drinking a lot and so am I. One night he backs me into a corner, grabs and shoves me. My son is 2 1/2 and crying but my husband won't let me console him. I am starting to worry he will turn out like his father who beat his mother and screwed up his own childhood. I also suggest counseling and tell myself he is having job problems.
And for the job problems he moves us to OK. Now he is drunk every weekend, every minute. He sobers up for work though. My son is 4 and knows it's the alcohol. Being 1200 miles away from support from family is too much. My son is witnessing me being told I am a bitch, to shut up and he is asking me to leave.
And eventually I leave, for 7 months. I am a single parent who gave up everything and am starting all over. My job search is infuriating based on daycare hours, cost of living. I drink to the point I am throwing up. I'm so sad about my marriage I have days I don't want to get out of bed. I find AA. This time I submerse myself in the program. I get a sponser. I get phone numbers. I go to AA events. And I really enjoy it.
My husband has a therapist and claims he's sober....at least a few months. He buys me a car as a gift since mine got totaled. He tells me he wants to love me and help me in any way.
So I'm convinced I have my best friend back. I only reconciled 1 week ago. I know we both need to want help if things are going to work.
Here's my issue...I've been in AA in the states of MA, NH, FL and now OK. Every meeting in OK has been full of meth users, heavy smokers who clog my airway, people in tattered clothes, homeless and kids at age 15. I am no better than them but I feel as I can't relate. Alcoholism strikes all economical groups, educational levels, races, etc.
My husband puts on a power suite and is a high functioning alcoholic. My father who is a scientist was also a man who acheived success, And I grew up wealthy with a lot of education in the family.
Please understand this is not me feeling superior but rather that I feel very alone and disconnected when I try to reach out to AA that has helped me in the past. I listen to discussions and nothing seems jive.
Should I call an AA hotline and explain my situation? I've gone to several groups and am ready to give up on a program that helped.
I was scared straight and gave up drugs. I later went off to college. I didn't keep hard liquor on hand because I knew it was tempting, I told myself I didn't need AA, just common sense. Weeks went by without drinking but when I slipped I binged. I had no desire for drugs though.
Between college and age 30 I continued to do well. I was single and controlled what was in the house. I allowed myself to party on weekends and binged...alot.
I met a man who was married to an alcoholic and divorced. I was attracted to him. We dated for 3 years. Although he was a man who alienated me from friends and was jealous as well as possesive. Things didn't work out for us. He broke into my house one night when I started to see another man. I was alone and don't know what he would have done if I wasn't. I pretended to sleep but cracked an eye open enough to see him standing in the bedroom doorway.
The same man when we broke up told me he had sex with me while I was passed out. I felt very angry and overwhelmed because this was someone I loved who turned into a monster. Long story short he stalked me in more ways than one. But was brilliant enough that I had nothing to give the police. I began to drink every day to cope with the fear of being a lone in my home and his unpredicable behavior. I relocated from FL to OK and he ended up moving to OK state as well within a year.
My mid 30's...I'm still drinking...alot. I met my husband. The first year is great. And I have wake up calls that I married an alcoholic. I'm pregnant and bleeding. I can't wake him up. So my neighbor who was a nurse tells me what to do. I convince myself he's afraid of parenthood. We both drink a lot now that we have a healthy son and deal with the exhausting task of parenthood.
We buy a new house. He is drinking a lot and so am I. One night he backs me into a corner, grabs and shoves me. My son is 2 1/2 and crying but my husband won't let me console him. I am starting to worry he will turn out like his father who beat his mother and screwed up his own childhood. I also suggest counseling and tell myself he is having job problems.
And for the job problems he moves us to OK. Now he is drunk every weekend, every minute. He sobers up for work though. My son is 4 and knows it's the alcohol. Being 1200 miles away from support from family is too much. My son is witnessing me being told I am a bitch, to shut up and he is asking me to leave.
And eventually I leave, for 7 months. I am a single parent who gave up everything and am starting all over. My job search is infuriating based on daycare hours, cost of living. I drink to the point I am throwing up. I'm so sad about my marriage I have days I don't want to get out of bed. I find AA. This time I submerse myself in the program. I get a sponser. I get phone numbers. I go to AA events. And I really enjoy it.
My husband has a therapist and claims he's sober....at least a few months. He buys me a car as a gift since mine got totaled. He tells me he wants to love me and help me in any way.
So I'm convinced I have my best friend back. I only reconciled 1 week ago. I know we both need to want help if things are going to work.
Here's my issue...I've been in AA in the states of MA, NH, FL and now OK. Every meeting in OK has been full of meth users, heavy smokers who clog my airway, people in tattered clothes, homeless and kids at age 15. I am no better than them but I feel as I can't relate. Alcoholism strikes all economical groups, educational levels, races, etc.
My husband puts on a power suite and is a high functioning alcoholic. My father who is a scientist was also a man who acheived success, And I grew up wealthy with a lot of education in the family.
Please understand this is not me feeling superior but rather that I feel very alone and disconnected when I try to reach out to AA that has helped me in the past. I listen to discussions and nothing seems jive.
Should I call an AA hotline and explain my situation? I've gone to several groups and am ready to give up on a program that helped.
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Welcome to SR cam72.
I don't do AA but I know that sometimes you have to try a few groups before finding the best one for you.
May I ask are you sober these days and since how long and how is your son doing ?
You wrote I left for 7 months (with your son) and were drinking to the point of throwing up and not getting out of bed. That just doesn't sound to good, sorry to be blunt.
Can you get help from your family ?
I don't do AA but I know that sometimes you have to try a few groups before finding the best one for you.
May I ask are you sober these days and since how long and how is your son doing ?
You wrote I left for 7 months (with your son) and were drinking to the point of throwing up and not getting out of bed. That just doesn't sound to good, sorry to be blunt.
Can you get help from your family ?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
I've never been to AA so I cannot relate to meetings and their attendance either.
I do know (as I suspect that you do, given your opening post) that there are gradations of alcoholism and therefore - how people present their issues and themselves.
A lot of what some people say (whose nadir has been far deeper and dangerous than mine has ever been - including yours by a long way) doesn't resonate with me either, I mean - I understand the words and feel the desperation - but it's not me or my experience.
I suppose I'm going to end with a couple of things - the former being a bit trite I suppose?
1. Take what is useful and discard the rest (from whichever support group that you use). To say it is ALL useful or informative is nonsense. Each to their own.
2. I use SR and not AA. Some people on here can irritate me; trigger me; or in some cases - I'm afraid I just don't believe what they say or the stories that they tell. The beauty of SR is I can ignore them and leave their thread/conversation. In AA I suppose you're pretty much stuck in that room? (Note: The vast majority of people on SR are great and very supportive).
Sorry I couldn't be of more use.
Tony
I do know (as I suspect that you do, given your opening post) that there are gradations of alcoholism and therefore - how people present their issues and themselves.
A lot of what some people say (whose nadir has been far deeper and dangerous than mine has ever been - including yours by a long way) doesn't resonate with me either, I mean - I understand the words and feel the desperation - but it's not me or my experience.
I suppose I'm going to end with a couple of things - the former being a bit trite I suppose?
1. Take what is useful and discard the rest (from whichever support group that you use). To say it is ALL useful or informative is nonsense. Each to their own.
2. I use SR and not AA. Some people on here can irritate me; trigger me; or in some cases - I'm afraid I just don't believe what they say or the stories that they tell. The beauty of SR is I can ignore them and leave their thread/conversation. In AA I suppose you're pretty much stuck in that room? (Note: The vast majority of people on SR are great and very supportive).
Sorry I couldn't be of more use.
Tony
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have been down many a harrowing road. Put myself and my kids through the ringer and in danger.
What can you do, today, to make a difference?
Start small and work there.
Don't worry about all that led up to this point. That **** is done and gone. What matter is what steps you take from this moment on.
There are many tipping points, good and bad.
What will be yours and which way will you push it to go?
Bottoms can get pretty deep.
I went to a busy ER once in deep withdrawals. The RN on staff took me to a Quiet Room meant for grieving families. I had blood drawn and was given ativan and allowed to sleep. At this point I was hearing music coming out of the walls.. was fairly out of it.
She confided in me that she was a 20 yr recovered alcoholic. That she had very reluctantly started in AA years and years ago. She had sat in the back with her head held low and didn't speak. She got a sponsor who told her to take the cotton out of her ears and stick it in her mouth.
She learned a thing or two and managed to pull herself out of the gutter and into a great life.
Maybe give it another shot. Just listen without judgment or comparison. AA is full of people there who understand and care enough to help.
There is nothing standing in the way of your sobriety but you and nobody and nothing can change that. If you think differently, you are giving your power away. Take it back!!
Throw all the resources you have at your problem and learn some more and use them too. Success depends on you alone. You can do it.
I have been down many a harrowing road. Put myself and my kids through the ringer and in danger.
What can you do, today, to make a difference?
Start small and work there.
Don't worry about all that led up to this point. That **** is done and gone. What matter is what steps you take from this moment on.
There are many tipping points, good and bad.
What will be yours and which way will you push it to go?
Bottoms can get pretty deep.
I went to a busy ER once in deep withdrawals. The RN on staff took me to a Quiet Room meant for grieving families. I had blood drawn and was given ativan and allowed to sleep. At this point I was hearing music coming out of the walls.. was fairly out of it.
She confided in me that she was a 20 yr recovered alcoholic. That she had very reluctantly started in AA years and years ago. She had sat in the back with her head held low and didn't speak. She got a sponsor who told her to take the cotton out of her ears and stick it in her mouth.
She learned a thing or two and managed to pull herself out of the gutter and into a great life.
Maybe give it another shot. Just listen without judgment or comparison. AA is full of people there who understand and care enough to help.
There is nothing standing in the way of your sobriety but you and nobody and nothing can change that. If you think differently, you are giving your power away. Take it back!!
Throw all the resources you have at your problem and learn some more and use them too. Success depends on you alone. You can do it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Cam - welcome
I have no experience of AA but this is a supportive place. We have all kinds of members too but we seem to all pull in the same direction, more or less
I'm sure other members here have some experience of AA and maybe even in OK.
One thing I'm not clear on...you said you enjoyed AA in the months before your reconciled with your husband. Was this in OK too or somewhere else?
How are you doing with the steps?
I have no experience of AA but this is a supportive place. We have all kinds of members too but we seem to all pull in the same direction, more or less
I'm sure other members here have some experience of AA and maybe even in OK.
One thing I'm not clear on...you said you enjoyed AA in the months before your reconciled with your husband. Was this in OK too or somewhere else?
How are you doing with the steps?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
What does your sponsor say? I think she's the best person to ask, because through your step work she'll have got to know you.
Seems to me that you're looking for differences not listening to the similarites, and that can be isolating. Can I ask (without judgment) what you're doing on a daily basis for steps 10, 11 and 12? I think sometimes life can slowly take over and that daily recovery maintenance work that is so vital and is seperate to meetings can dwindle off, and suddenly we find ourselves back at restless, irritable and discontent and being set off into rattley zone by every passing HALT trigger.
Step 10 can really help. I needed to find a very structures way to go about this (much as I liked to think I could just do it on the go - that works for easy days when I'm on top of things, but on other days I need a more detailed inventory so I don't start kidding myself about how much those character defects have snuck back into the drivers seat). Step 11 helps us to remember and more deeply know that it's not between us and other people so much as between us and our HP. Prayer, prayer and prayer. And step 12 helps us to be more connected and part of things.
I know that for me if I ever start saying I DID the steps (past tense) then my recovery might just end up being spoken of past tense as well. Even if I'm still sober. I 've tried sobriety without recovery and its a lonely, fear-filled and scary place to be. I don't wanna go back - ever. Steps 10, 11 and 12 on a daily basis are a small price to pay I reckon.
Anyway. Glad you found us. I hope you find what you need to ramp up in your recovery work so you can experience a little more serenity.
BB
Seems to me that you're looking for differences not listening to the similarites, and that can be isolating. Can I ask (without judgment) what you're doing on a daily basis for steps 10, 11 and 12? I think sometimes life can slowly take over and that daily recovery maintenance work that is so vital and is seperate to meetings can dwindle off, and suddenly we find ourselves back at restless, irritable and discontent and being set off into rattley zone by every passing HALT trigger.
Step 10 can really help. I needed to find a very structures way to go about this (much as I liked to think I could just do it on the go - that works for easy days when I'm on top of things, but on other days I need a more detailed inventory so I don't start kidding myself about how much those character defects have snuck back into the drivers seat). Step 11 helps us to remember and more deeply know that it's not between us and other people so much as between us and our HP. Prayer, prayer and prayer. And step 12 helps us to be more connected and part of things.
I know that for me if I ever start saying I DID the steps (past tense) then my recovery might just end up being spoken of past tense as well. Even if I'm still sober. I 've tried sobriety without recovery and its a lonely, fear-filled and scary place to be. I don't wanna go back - ever. Steps 10, 11 and 12 on a daily basis are a small price to pay I reckon.
Anyway. Glad you found us. I hope you find what you need to ramp up in your recovery work so you can experience a little more serenity.
BB
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Cam,
For me...it boils down to a lack of ability to cope with reality for a long period.
I drank to get drunk as early as I can remember....5 or 6 years old.
My Dad thought it was cool seeing a drunk kid or something. I know...I know...
Anyway....
So for my entire life...minus an 8 month quit...where I immediately relapsed to full on binging...I drank to cope.
Stress, fun, sad, friday, super bowl, new years, dog died, mom died, wife mad...you get the idea.
Drinking was my go to move.
Now, I have no go to move.
I get depressed now and I have to think my way out. Rationalize my way out.
I work out as hard as I can stand. It really helps.
But, I am working on just being content in the now. Not fretting the past.
I pray. I search for online stratigies. I come here. It all helps.
My current moves are...
Letting it go. Not worrying about the future. Living in the now.
I love myself 100%.
I expect and understand others may look down upon me, may think I am less than or whatever.
I except that.
I got one shot at what is left of my life and I am going to enjoy it as a sober man.
So help me God.
Thanks.
For me...it boils down to a lack of ability to cope with reality for a long period.
I drank to get drunk as early as I can remember....5 or 6 years old.
My Dad thought it was cool seeing a drunk kid or something. I know...I know...
Anyway....
So for my entire life...minus an 8 month quit...where I immediately relapsed to full on binging...I drank to cope.
Stress, fun, sad, friday, super bowl, new years, dog died, mom died, wife mad...you get the idea.
Drinking was my go to move.
Now, I have no go to move.
I get depressed now and I have to think my way out. Rationalize my way out.
I work out as hard as I can stand. It really helps.
But, I am working on just being content in the now. Not fretting the past.
I pray. I search for online stratigies. I come here. It all helps.
My current moves are...
Letting it go. Not worrying about the future. Living in the now.
I love myself 100%.
I expect and understand others may look down upon me, may think I am less than or whatever.
I except that.
I got one shot at what is left of my life and I am going to enjoy it as a sober man.
So help me God.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hi, CAM.
Welcome.
It took me a while to find an AA meeting where I felt comfortable.
My issue wasn’t meth heads, but blustery men who mansplained and humble bragged.
But I did finally find a meeting of diverse, like minded people and I went every week.
The meeting was in a tony area of Philadelphia. Don’t know how many members were local, but there did seem to be a socio-economic component to that particular meeting that I liked.
Agree that sometimes meetings can be rough.
I have had people try to borrow money from me at meetings.
Good luck.
Welcome.
It took me a while to find an AA meeting where I felt comfortable.
My issue wasn’t meth heads, but blustery men who mansplained and humble bragged.
But I did finally find a meeting of diverse, like minded people and I went every week.
The meeting was in a tony area of Philadelphia. Don’t know how many members were local, but there did seem to be a socio-economic component to that particular meeting that I liked.
Agree that sometimes meetings can be rough.
I have had people try to borrow money from me at meetings.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 84
Hi Cam, I’ve been to four meetings, women meetings only. This has been working out well for me. Also, meetings in neighbourhoods away from the downtown core, more suburban, neighbourhoods off the public transit line. Is that a possibility given where you live?
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
There are all kinds of people in AA meetings and location is a bit of a factor in who attends. I know that if I go "downtown" I will run into a different group of people then if I go to a meeting in an upper class section of suburbia. There are also AA meetings near the University which attract a different crowd. Do some research and ask around, and keep going to different meetings.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Every meeting in OK has been full of meth users, heavy smokers who clog my airway, people in tattered clothes, homeless and kids at age 15
sounds like a perfect meeting. even though i smoke, i dont care for smoking meetings,though.
i moved from podunk, mi to bigger town,mi a few years ago. i didnt feel out of place, but felt meetings were different then where i got sober.
after a change of perspective, i realized they werent any different
sounds like a perfect meeting. even though i smoke, i dont care for smoking meetings,though.
i moved from podunk, mi to bigger town,mi a few years ago. i didnt feel out of place, but felt meetings were different then where i got sober.
after a change of perspective, i realized they werent any different
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 5
I'd say I'm on step 4 and it's a tough one. I have been sober a week. Not long at all. However I feel I have been a more mild alcoholic the past few months...if there's such a thing. I have days of sobriety and my slip ups happen without such extremes. The first time I left my husband I was so overwhelmed and depressed that my behavior was extreme the first few weeks.
Which is why I went to AA because I am a mother and need to get my act together. I will look around for more meetings and hopefully I can find one that helps as much a my FL group. My husband agreeing to no liquor in the house has been helpful.
Though getting a sponser is recommended...I have been here for 1 week to reconcile and the 3 meetings had no female sponsers available. And I strongly prefer a female. The reasons women and men drink are often different and I think the disease creates differences in genders as well.
I will say happily even on New Years we did not drink and it felt good to get up today without a hangover! We went hiking instead!
Which is why I went to AA because I am a mother and need to get my act together. I will look around for more meetings and hopefully I can find one that helps as much a my FL group. My husband agreeing to no liquor in the house has been helpful.
Though getting a sponser is recommended...I have been here for 1 week to reconcile and the 3 meetings had no female sponsers available. And I strongly prefer a female. The reasons women and men drink are often different and I think the disease creates differences in genders as well.
I will say happily even on New Years we did not drink and it felt good to get up today without a hangover! We went hiking instead!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Could you still contact your old sponsor?
You can still keep working on your inventory each day anyway. You can stil, do the step prayers. You can still do gratitude lists. You can still reach out here and to the people from up your old groups - a phone call is a phone call.
If you are on step 4 then you have already got an idea of your HP as well, sounding things over on a daily basis is still something you can do.
Meetings are one step on the AA stool. Yes, it helps to get to them, but the majority of the recovery work is done outside meetings. You don't need to let that slide. Listening to the recovery speaker recordings are great for building on the step 4 process anyway, so you could immerse yourself in your recovery work for a good part of each day, listening, reading, praying, reflecting and doing your inventory. And that is likely to help a lot.
https://www.recoveryaudio.org
Friends of Bill W. - Twelve Step Prayersfromthe Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/gratitude-list/
And in the meantime keep getting to those meetings. The ones on your doorstep that you're not to keen on as well as trying new ones I reckon.
I'm a very fear-driven person, and my fear instinct will always try to get me judging and defensive of new people when plonked into a room of strangers. Regardless whether that's work, or church or a new AA meeting. Before I get to know folk I'll be judging by their clothes or their situation or what I get to know of their past. Then over time I'll stop noticing all that stuff and learn to see past it because they've stopped being caricatures to me and have become real people. We can learn to love people despite the ways they're different to us. You have BEEN that 15 year old after all. And if it wasn't for the grace of God perhaps you might be equally poor and scruffy and chaotic. If nothing else, those meetings should help you with your gratitude lists! And getting involved - putting chairs out, helping with washing up, or wiping tables, or setting the literature out - are all little things that will help you feel more part of things. They're at a meeting, and they're sober and working on their recovery, and anyway, who are you or I to judge anyone? After all when we look at the list of Jesus’ ancestors, we see that they include Tamar (the adulteress), Rahab (the prostitute), Solomon (who was conceived after King David’s adulterous affair with Bathsheba), as well as many others who it'd be easy to get high and mighty over. But thankfully, God uses sinful human beings and, therefore, can use me and you and all those people at that meeting. Whatever our pasts, however broken our lives mayhave been, or even seem right now, God can use us all to do something great with our lives. Some of those folk in there may have something very important to teach you ya know.
BB
You can still keep working on your inventory each day anyway. You can stil, do the step prayers. You can still do gratitude lists. You can still reach out here and to the people from up your old groups - a phone call is a phone call.
If you are on step 4 then you have already got an idea of your HP as well, sounding things over on a daily basis is still something you can do.
Meetings are one step on the AA stool. Yes, it helps to get to them, but the majority of the recovery work is done outside meetings. You don't need to let that slide. Listening to the recovery speaker recordings are great for building on the step 4 process anyway, so you could immerse yourself in your recovery work for a good part of each day, listening, reading, praying, reflecting and doing your inventory. And that is likely to help a lot.
https://www.recoveryaudio.org
Friends of Bill W. - Twelve Step Prayersfromthe Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/gratitude-list/
And in the meantime keep getting to those meetings. The ones on your doorstep that you're not to keen on as well as trying new ones I reckon.
I'm a very fear-driven person, and my fear instinct will always try to get me judging and defensive of new people when plonked into a room of strangers. Regardless whether that's work, or church or a new AA meeting. Before I get to know folk I'll be judging by their clothes or their situation or what I get to know of their past. Then over time I'll stop noticing all that stuff and learn to see past it because they've stopped being caricatures to me and have become real people. We can learn to love people despite the ways they're different to us. You have BEEN that 15 year old after all. And if it wasn't for the grace of God perhaps you might be equally poor and scruffy and chaotic. If nothing else, those meetings should help you with your gratitude lists! And getting involved - putting chairs out, helping with washing up, or wiping tables, or setting the literature out - are all little things that will help you feel more part of things. They're at a meeting, and they're sober and working on their recovery, and anyway, who are you or I to judge anyone? After all when we look at the list of Jesus’ ancestors, we see that they include Tamar (the adulteress), Rahab (the prostitute), Solomon (who was conceived after King David’s adulterous affair with Bathsheba), as well as many others who it'd be easy to get high and mighty over. But thankfully, God uses sinful human beings and, therefore, can use me and you and all those people at that meeting. Whatever our pasts, however broken our lives mayhave been, or even seem right now, God can use us all to do something great with our lives. Some of those folk in there may have something very important to teach you ya know.
BB
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