jml

I never thought I'd be in this position. (You know desperate and unable to cope on my own). I'm ready to run, leave it all behind. I'm married to an alcholic and crack head. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I can not handle all the gone all night and in and out, the worry, the stress because the babies want their dad. God help me I lost my temper and we had one nasty throw down session. I just don't know what to do. I want to leave him permanetly this time (would be third time). But my babes love him so.... I know growing up in this kind of sit. is bad, I grew up in same. I just thought when this started I was strong enough to hang. I'm NOT!! Not! I can not stand to watch my children....can't see through my tears
Desperate for someone to talk to, get advice sounding board, HELP!!! Lonely, sad, depressed and DESPERATE!!!!

Gabe

Hey jml,
You have landed in a good place. There are a lot of us here who understand what you're going through.
And many of us have struggled with the "stay or leave" question.
It's very hard when there are children involved.
Please join us on the Friends and Family and Naranon board.
You will find a lot of support and encouragement there.
Gabe

lost puppy

jml,
first welcome!
I am on the other end, wife has had enough, wants out, pissed off!.
I have three girls, 14,6,and2 1/2, to tell you the truth, it took my wife calling it quits to wake me up,
I'll tell you what, when my wife gets home, i'm going to have her write to you.
But all I can say is, send the wake up call, go to moms house. as long as you are not afraid of an abusive response, if you are look in the phone book for a battered wife shelter, they can and will protect you + they usually have councellers to give advice.
John

jml

well John i would love to head to the folks but i can not. my Pop has alszheimers. too much for my mom. no i'm on my own. at this pt. he has to worry about violence. God forgive!! I lost my temper and REALLY laid into him. He finally went to a meeting with our pastor last night. i just really have no faith in him right now. what a happy anniversary we're gonna have tom. Maybe i'll file divorce papers tom. had really wanted to keep family together but i'm seeing some affects in my son that upset me greatly. thanks for the reply! strange to hear from (soorry) an offender....


jml

nutz

welcome jms

I ain't nutz for nutt'in.
deffernently can't give you advice.
I know what you mean.
she didn't stop all nigth last night.
no piont trying to communicate to a space case in a pissing constest.
my head hurts from the mental and emotional roller coaster.
my heart breaks...so i ask my higher power to heal it.
I pretent unconditional love is around me.
but yak, yak, yak...everything i do is wrong.
maybe her addiction won't have anything to do with it.lol
I went outside to take a break from it all.
but have to come back in the house sometimes
I didn't get to bed until 2.a.m, last night.
I pray like crazy.
I pray my high power to wash me of all the BS and abuse.
I'm having a pretty nice day so far.
lord help me....I have to go home in a couple of hours.
I think I'll lock myself in the bath room for a couple of hours and meditate.
We been seperate for a couple of months..she's only been home for
a few days.

hector

((((jml))) I wish I was there to hug you in person.

Look in the phone book for Al-Anon Family Services. I know the phone weighs 500 lbs at least, but pick it up and make some calls. You need more help than any online site can give you. You need people. Find some with skin on. If not for yourself, do it for your children. There are good, qualified people who want to help you. Find some. Now. Right now.

jml

hey nutz sounds like we were both steppin outside last night. The last 72 hours for me have been sleepless. Thur. didn't come home from "work" til midnight. babies cried for their poppy. Fri. didn't come home until 2:30 am. cried, cussed, paced, chain smoked, tried to comfort babies. i was shaking like a leaf on a tree in a hurricane. I can't settle down long enough to soak in the tub.

hector: i've found a coda meeting and am working on nar. anon meetings now. but it looks like they are way out of town. and yeah people with skin would be nice but it's incredible how much these boards have helped me. just being able to share with people who know what i'm going through helps alot. I've found lots of info at this site that has refreshed my insight to an addicts thoughts and that helps too. being reminded that it's not my fault is also helping a lot. I'm so angry with him it irritates me when he eats!! Those noises!GGGRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need the anger to go.


Thanks you guys. May we all find peace of mind, soul, and spirit.