LifeChanges

If someone has been sexually abused, by more than one person, does that increase your chance of having an addictive personality?

JustTony

I'm not sure about "addictive personality" as such. But I would imagine that such terrible circumstances mean that turning to drugs, alcohol or some other means of 'escape' are more likely. That could then inevitable lead to the abuse and addiction to such things?

However - what is the point of this question? I don't mean that in a disapproving way as I cannot guess your motives - I'm just interested.

PS - I had a pretty 'normal' upbringing - albeit I do have alcoholic relatives.

LifeChanges

Idk, the point of this question is maybe to know yeah, it makes sense, I make sense. My failures and mistakes are not completely surprising.

JustTony

That's fair enough.

I think that suffering sexual abuse once - let alone multiple times - has few equals in evil. The mental and emotional damage - and therefore the actions and consequences that follow - are never going to be rosy I don't suppose?

I add (with a huge degree of trepidation though) that there are other disgustingly traumatic things that happen in peoples lives. I've always said about the terrible thing that happened to me that 'no one should play top trumps with tragedy". It's how we try and crawl forwards without looking backwards that has to be our focus.

I know that sounds a bit c**p and trite - but what's the alternative when it comes to addiction?

I hope you find the strength to continue on your road to recovery.

JT

LifeChanges

you really answer like a ******* *******. F you can't be compassionate please don't reply to vulnerable people

JustTony

I'm sorry that you felt my answer wasn't compassionate.

To put some context on my reply I lost my only child suddenly nearly 10 years ago - which led me into a terrible downwards spiral. I was merely sharing that revolting things happen to us in life and I was aiming to help with my own experience.

Yes - I feel terribly vulnerable too at times.

I'm sorry my answer didn't help. I won't reply to you again.

Regards,

JT.

Dee74

Hey Life Changes
None of us are trained counsellors here.

If past abuse trauma is upsetting you right now maybe you need a crisis line or a specialised forum?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...resources.html

We're all on your side and trying to help best we can.

D

LifeChanges

Dee. Honey, it's not new, I'm 46 years old. I've been ****** left, right, center, sidewYs and upside down. I appreciate your words even when I think they are ********. So I hope you appreciate mine when you don't agree.

Dee74

Check your PM.

Berrybean

I thought about this a lot (in the past) and came to the personal conclusion that for every person who was sexually abused and finds a (faulty) solution to the pain this leaves them with in alcohol or other addictions, there are others that find different ways of dealing (or not dealing) with the pain.

People love to collect statistics over this and all kinds of stuff, and I'm pretty sure they'd have published reports announcing it from the hilltops if they'd found such a straightforward correlation of statistics.

BB

PS I'm also gonna PM you x

Zanna

As an obstinate by nature Irish female - I tend to think that if we self-destruct, we are still allowing an abuser access to our lives and they don't deserve it.
The AV is cunning - if we allow it to run free it will do crazy things like ' They had no bread at the shop today, I'm gutted and need a drink'

Yesterday and all yesterdays are dead and gone - all we have is today - It saddens me to see conflict in the SR family - we are ALL in this together and I'm sure the excellent Mods are more than capable of dealing with that.

Chill guys

Zanna Xx

hpdw

LifeChanges Please know you are not alone .

Zanna i,m sorry when you see conflict on SR your sad , poor you but did you read the OP message , really read it .

Telling her to " chill" is disrespectful to say the least .

DarklingSong

It saddens me to see conflict in the SR family - we are ALL in this together and I'm sure the excellent Mods are more than capable of dealing with that.
__________________________________
I agree.
I think we are all trying to support one another as best we can.

Dee74

Guys lets not squabble publically.
It's neither desirable nor necessary,

if you feel the mods should be onto something, report the post...

if not, and you feel you must take another poster to task, ask yourself if it may not be better in a PM.

I'm gonna close this thread now,

LifeChanges thanks for listening to what I said in my PM.

I hope you'll come back and start a fresh thread today, tomorrow whenever

We really are here to help - give us a chance, ok?

Dee
Moderator
SR