Christmas is ... quiet
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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Christmas is ... quiet
This is the first year in a long time that I haven't been negotiating with an alcoholic over visits, schedules, time with Kid, etc. Ex seems to have disappeared - no communication at all since a 30-min supervised visit on the 22nd. It is remarkable what a difference this makes - I am not dealing with verbal abuse, drunk lectures, drama, maybe-I-will/maybe-I-won't games with seeing Kid, etc. He's just ... gone. I don't think I realized what an energy suck he was at this time of year. I am actually enjoying lots of down time reading and working on projects. Kid has not asked about her father but seems to be in a good mood, doing lots of reading and watching Bones. She may be having a lot of thoughts and feelings about not seeing her father at Christmas, but they are not evident and I'm not going to try to make her express them.
I have no idea why he's disappeared - I'm assuming he's on a bender somewhere. He may surface in the next couple of days, or he may not. I am not looking for him. Whatever happens, happens.
At Christmas last year, ex and his second ex-wife had a big fight with presents being thrown at each other and lots of yelling, and I got a bailout call to come and pick up Kid from their place. This was followed by one of those alcoholic 180s where I became ex's confidant as he explained to me how X2 was responsible for all his drinking and as soon as he left her, he would get sober and be a great dad and we would co-parent our wonderful Kid. Needless to say, the "getting sober" didn't happen (lots more drinking and cops and drama did happen) and I am no longer ex's prized confidant.
The year before that, I was getting a barrage of texts and emails from ex about what a horrible person I am and demanding/refusing to take Kid for visits. And the year before that, and before that. This is the first time in years that Christmas hasn't been hijacked by addict crap of some sort.
It is possible that ex may have really gotten into trouble of the washed-up-on-a-river-bank sort, but even if this is the case, there is nothing that I can do about it. I am just enjoying the quietest and therefore best Christmas that I've had in a long time.
I have no idea why he's disappeared - I'm assuming he's on a bender somewhere. He may surface in the next couple of days, or he may not. I am not looking for him. Whatever happens, happens.
At Christmas last year, ex and his second ex-wife had a big fight with presents being thrown at each other and lots of yelling, and I got a bailout call to come and pick up Kid from their place. This was followed by one of those alcoholic 180s where I became ex's confidant as he explained to me how X2 was responsible for all his drinking and as soon as he left her, he would get sober and be a great dad and we would co-parent our wonderful Kid. Needless to say, the "getting sober" didn't happen (lots more drinking and cops and drama did happen) and I am no longer ex's prized confidant.
The year before that, I was getting a barrage of texts and emails from ex about what a horrible person I am and demanding/refusing to take Kid for visits. And the year before that, and before that. This is the first time in years that Christmas hasn't been hijacked by addict crap of some sort.
It is possible that ex may have really gotten into trouble of the washed-up-on-a-river-bank sort, but even if this is the case, there is nothing that I can do about it. I am just enjoying the quietest and therefore best Christmas that I've had in a long time.
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