The Great Xmas Washup
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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The Great Xmas Washup
For those who didn't make it through Christmas without drinking or using. please don't be discouraged or put off trying again.
This was one battle not the war.
You can recuperate regroup, and redraw your action plan.
Recovery 2.0 can be even better drawing from your experience of what works and what doesn't for you.
I think a recovery action plan is vital.
Sooner or later, you're going to be blindsided by an event, a person, a feeling, a situation or a stressor...and the urge to drink or use will be there.
If you haven't given much thought to what you might do in response, there's always the danger you'll revert to the default - which, for people like us, is drink/use.
Basically a recovery plan is a plan to help you stop drinking/drugging and stay stopped.
Things like exercise and hobbies should be a part of just about every recovery plan - but I really believe we also need to specifically address the drinking/drugging too.
Think about changes you need to make to your life.
Not only changes what you do for fun, the places you hang out and who you hang with, but also deeper internal change as well.
No matter what you drink or used for - stress or boredom, anger, joy, physical or emotional pain - you need new coping mechanisms to deal with all those things.
you also need to anticipate those times when you will want to drink or use, or when drink/drugs will be offered to you.
Have a strategy in place for dealing with those situations.
Ask for help here if you're not sure what to do or how to do it. Try and ask before you make a bad decision - not after.
All this can be difficult - which is why support is so important.
Help might be a Dr or a counsellor, or a meeting based approach like AA SMART LifeRing or some other alternative like Rational Recovery...
it might be outpatient or inpatient rehab - it might just be SR and other forums/chat rooms...
Find a level of support than works for you, and that you are willing to reach out when you're in trouble.
cover these bases, and you'll have the beginnings of a great plan.
This is an easy to read but detailed link which fills out the ideas a little more:
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
And some more ideas here:
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...SMA12-4474.pdf
lets all make 2018 great!
D
This was one battle not the war.
You can recuperate regroup, and redraw your action plan.
Recovery 2.0 can be even better drawing from your experience of what works and what doesn't for you.
I think a recovery action plan is vital.
Sooner or later, you're going to be blindsided by an event, a person, a feeling, a situation or a stressor...and the urge to drink or use will be there.
If you haven't given much thought to what you might do in response, there's always the danger you'll revert to the default - which, for people like us, is drink/use.
Basically a recovery plan is a plan to help you stop drinking/drugging and stay stopped.
Things like exercise and hobbies should be a part of just about every recovery plan - but I really believe we also need to specifically address the drinking/drugging too.
Think about changes you need to make to your life.
Not only changes what you do for fun, the places you hang out and who you hang with, but also deeper internal change as well.
No matter what you drink or used for - stress or boredom, anger, joy, physical or emotional pain - you need new coping mechanisms to deal with all those things.
you also need to anticipate those times when you will want to drink or use, or when drink/drugs will be offered to you.
Have a strategy in place for dealing with those situations.
Ask for help here if you're not sure what to do or how to do it. Try and ask before you make a bad decision - not after.
All this can be difficult - which is why support is so important.
Help might be a Dr or a counsellor, or a meeting based approach like AA SMART LifeRing or some other alternative like Rational Recovery...
it might be outpatient or inpatient rehab - it might just be SR and other forums/chat rooms...
Find a level of support than works for you, and that you are willing to reach out when you're in trouble.
cover these bases, and you'll have the beginnings of a great plan.
This is an easy to read but detailed link which fills out the ideas a little more:
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
And some more ideas here:
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...SMA12-4474.pdf
lets all make 2018 great!
D
Last edited by Dee74; 12-26-2017 at 02:06 AM.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
from your mouth
May every person who reads this make a full recovery. Give it the time it takes. Don't give up after a couple weeks or a month or three months if things aren't completely okay yet. It took time to dig the hole and it will take time to fill it in again.
Nothing requires a drink. Not past abuse, trauma, anxiety, or any other perceived mental trigger. All things can be healed with time and the right sort of recovery tools based on your particular needs. Find the people with the answers, seek them out like your life depends on it - because it does.
Happy almost 2018.
May every person who reads this make a full recovery. Give it the time it takes. Don't give up after a couple weeks or a month or three months if things aren't completely okay yet. It took time to dig the hole and it will take time to fill it in again.
Nothing requires a drink. Not past abuse, trauma, anxiety, or any other perceived mental trigger. All things can be healed with time and the right sort of recovery tools based on your particular needs. Find the people with the answers, seek them out like your life depends on it - because it does.
Happy almost 2018.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 298
Thanks, Dee.
What you mentioned about change, is what I found to be the most important factor in my sobriety. It wasn't enough to just tell myself "I can't drink." It wasn't enough to white knuckle it. It wasn't enough to deny myself alcohol.
I had to make true, honest, deep, meaningful, soulful changes in my life, my line of thinking, my heart...basically the trajectory of my life. It was hard at first, and it's ongoing (and always will be), but it is what made sobriety stick.
What you mentioned about change, is what I found to be the most important factor in my sobriety. It wasn't enough to just tell myself "I can't drink." It wasn't enough to white knuckle it. It wasn't enough to deny myself alcohol.
I had to make true, honest, deep, meaningful, soulful changes in my life, my line of thinking, my heart...basically the trajectory of my life. It was hard at first, and it's ongoing (and always will be), but it is what made sobriety stick.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,189
I didn't make it Dee, I threw 45 days sober down the drain. I'm not into AA, I don't need impatient therapy. I can quit, but I can't stay that way. I always go back to my old friend (booze). I'm not sure if I should even be on this site anymore. This seems to be a site for people who stay sober.
This, of coarse could be irrational thoughts, or guilt.
This, of coarse could be irrational thoughts, or guilt.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
As always - most timely and helpful, Dee. If only I'd had this advice long ago - my life would've gone so differently. 
Wildflower - Not true - this site isn't just for those who stay sober. Please never give up on yourself & your chance for a better life.
Wildflower - Not true - this site isn't just for those who stay sober. Please never give up on yourself & your chance for a better life.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,189
Hevyn,
Thank you, I know deep down inside that all are welcomed here but I have to say that sometimes it feels like a site for sober people.
For example, I would log on every morning for support, and the most popular threads are the ones of long time members who chat about daily life. Some of these long term members have little time for relapsers or people struggling to find their way. AA seems to be the given answer. I'm not judging, and I am grateful for what is available.
Thank you, I know deep down inside that all are welcomed here but I have to say that sometimes it feels like a site for sober people.
For example, I would log on every morning for support, and the most popular threads are the ones of long time members who chat about daily life. Some of these long term members have little time for relapsers or people struggling to find their way. AA seems to be the given answer. I'm not judging, and I am grateful for what is available.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Originally Posted by wildflower70 
I didn't make it Dee, I threw 45 days sober down the drain. I'm not into AA, I don't need impatient therapy. I can quit, but I can't stay that way. I always go back to my old friend (booze). I'm not sure if I should even be on this site anymore. This seems to be a site for people who stay sober.
This, of coarse could be irrational thoughts, or guilt.
This, of coarse could be irrational thoughts, or guilt.
I've relapsed before, hundreds of times....I understand the whole box and dice
The intention was not to shame or judge anyone - but to let people know there is help, and a better way to do things than drinking or using.
SR's always been about the people struggling - maybe even a little more than it is about those how have gotten sober.
You, and everyone else struggling, are always very welcome here
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
For example, I would log on every morning for support, and the most popular threads are the ones of long time members who chat about daily life. Some of these long term members have little time for relapsers or people struggling to find their way. AA seems to be the given answer. I'm not judging, and I am grateful for what is available.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-pt-2-a-8.html
or the Under One Year thread maybe.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-60-a-3.html (One Year and Under Club Part 60)
( for what its worth the Under One Year thread has more parts than the Over One Year thread does)
Try not to confuse constructive criticism for judgement wildflower.
Everyone here wants to see you live a happy sober life.
I don't think anyone can argue with that as a preferred outcome
Very few people here will tell you its OK to drink - but thats not the same as saying you're a loser, or you're unwelcome here, or we look down on you.
Your AV may try and twist it that way sure - but I've never forgotten what it was like to drink again and again over and over.
I don't think many of us have forgotten - which is why, more than ever, we want you to find that different path for yourself
we're on your side - really
D
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,189
Originally Posted by wildflower70
I didn't make it Dee, I threw 45 days sober down the drain. I'm not into AA, I don't need impatient therapy. I can quit, but I can't stay that way. I always go back to my old friend (booze). I'm not sure if I should even be on this site anymore. This seems to be a site for people who stay sober.
This, of coarse could be irrational thoughts, or guilt.
This, of coarse could be irrational thoughts, or guilt.
As I said, I'm sure this irrational thinking and guilt. Guilt for not staying sober, shame to be posting that I drank instead of what I was going to do (self spa day at home). I am so grateful for the support here, it's my STINKING THINKING that gets the best of me.
I'm going to get back on the horse, start a new plan, get sober for a new year! I will stay here because I know it works (even when we don't think it's working) Love you all for your support...Thank you!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by wildflower70
Thank you Dee, Hevyn, least, and Anna.
As I said, I'm sure this irrational thinking and guilt. Guilt for not staying sober, shame to be posting that I drank instead of what I was going to do (self spa day at home). I am so grateful for the support here, it's my STINKING THINKING that gets the best of me.
I'm going to get back on the horse, start a new plan, get sober for a new year! I will stay here because I know it works (even when we don't think it's working) Love you all for your support...Thank you!!!
As I said, I'm sure this irrational thinking and guilt. Guilt for not staying sober, shame to be posting that I drank instead of what I was going to do (self spa day at home). I am so grateful for the support here, it's my STINKING THINKING that gets the best of me.
I'm going to get back on the horse, start a new plan, get sober for a new year! I will stay here because I know it works (even when we don't think it's working) Love you all for your support...Thank you!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Wildflower,
The links that Dee posted are great ones. The monthly classes are perfect because everyone is around the da e point in recovery, so you should definitely Jin the December class.
You mentioned how it seems everyone is just checking in and sharing about their lives in some of the threads, and there is definitely a lot of that, the reason it happens is because many of us do log on here daily, often times more than once, and we have built a supportive community. We are here to celebrate the good things in our lives, and support through the tough. It would be great for you to become part of this community.
❤️Delilah
The links that Dee posted are great ones. The monthly classes are perfect because everyone is around the da e point in recovery, so you should definitely Jin the December class.
You mentioned how it seems everyone is just checking in and sharing about their lives in some of the threads, and there is definitely a lot of that, the reason it happens is because many of us do log on here daily, often times more than once, and we have built a supportive community. We are here to celebrate the good things in our lives, and support through the tough. It would be great for you to become part of this community.
❤️Delilah
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