Angrymarble

I think Xmas is going to be a disaster here. My husband just said good night to my kids and we haven’t done the one gift we usually do on Xmas eve.

So they are 12 and 8. What is appropriate here to say?

TropicalWinter

Honestly, I would just carry on as usual, just without him around.

Angrymarble

And when they ask why he slurred his words or is passed out on the couch.

Sasha4

Honestly?
For the sake of the kids and saving christmas day, I would say he is not well.
A heavy cold.
If possible pack him off to bed, even if that means he drinks in the bedroom.
You can decide about his drinking any day of the year but christmas day is so special for children.
If it was me I would put a brave face on, dig deep and have the best day possible in the circumstances you are in.

I would also make sure, if it was me, that this would be the last christmas he gets to be drunk for.

New year, new start.

I wish you the best xx

Angrymarble

I just hid the wine, bad idea right?

Angrymarble

I can’t believe this is my life.

Sasha4

It does not have to be your life anymore.
You are in control of that.

Hiding the wine?
He might find it, he might have booze hidden elsewhere.

Focus on you and your kids.

I have an 8 year old. It might be the last year she believes in Santa. This is a magical time for them.
Don't let your husband ruin it.

If he wants to drink himself silly, then let him.
Just make sure he is out of sight.

Angrymarble

I can’t get him off the couch. I took pictures of my 2 year old on him.

Guess I’m setting all the presents out tonight without him. In 12 years that’s a first.

Angrymarble

And I won’t.... but I so want to slap him.

Ariesagain

Sending you a hug.

Angrymarble

I put the presents under the tree and made the cookies look like Santa and the reindeer ate them. I took pictures so tomorrow my husband can see how he let me down.

I’m sad because I can handle disappointment but I want to shield my kids from it And eventually they are going to see what is going on.

BrokenCrayons

I'm sorry. I'm doing the same myself now. I feel dumb for thinking this wouldn't happen because he was so excited about setting up the gifts for her. I just found out he had been hiding alcohol maybe 2 months ago. My brain keeps trying to trick me into not believing this is really what's happening in my life. Now I need to assemble an easel with way more pieces than I thought it would have by myself. But it's OK. I got this and my daughter will have a merry Christmas.

BrokenCrayons

As I typed this he just came out and vomited into the trash can. Merry Christmas.

Angrymarble

Hugs. I’ve got this too. My oldest keeps asking if we can go to a movie tomorrow. Well, I can’t trust your dad to drive so he can’t take you and I can’t trust your dad to watch your 2 year old brother so that’s a big fat no. She wants to have friends over for New Years which normally I’d love but nope - can’t deak with that right now.

I sat at the table crying - I was looking at Facebook and happy families - I know every family has stuff - but it just really got to me.

BrokenCrayons

-hugs back-

I hope you have a peaceful and happy Christmas.

mrrryahj

Although I myself am in recovery - big hugs to all of those who are dealing with an active alcoholic or addict during what is supposed to be this special season. Although I never had children or a spouse (probably as a direct result of my drinking and being unable to maintain a relationship or find anyone who could put up with me) I certainly affected my family in negative ways, embarrassed them etc. And it's just not fun to be around a drunk when you're not drinking (or you're not an alcoholic yourself.)

Thank you for the reminder of the amends I will be making this Christmas by staying sober with my loved ones, and I'm so sorry you are going through this <3

P.S. - The addiction that lives within every one of us is too manipulative and sneaky to be outsmarted. Dumping out the wine - probably a waste. But taking those pictures were a good idea. I know that will probably make him feel like garbage and who knows, maybe even help him to hit his rock bottom so he can finally surrender and ask for help.

FeelingGreat

Oh dear! Not that nice. Hope the easel goes together ok.

Angrymarble

So of course h remembers very little about last night. I made him dump the alcohol. If he wants to drink he can leave. And I forced him to go to AA.

He’s freaking out about his DUI. Well I am too but I still take care of the kids. And he’s pissed I won’t let him drive them or watch the 2 year old. Sorry not sorry.

Clover71

Reading these posts made me sad for the pain you are feeling. I agree with carrying on without him. (Them) Have happiness and joy with the kids. That's what is important today and really every day.

Clover71

.

Less responsibility for him with not caring for the 2 year old (we are parents, so we really don't "watch" our own kids ). I'm sending hugs to you. I promise I'm not picking on you, but the term "watch" just struck me in your post because I once thought that to myself and then thought - wait, he's not a babysitter, he's a parent. My kids are a bit older now so I don't have to worry as much. You and the kids carry on without him and have some Christmas fun