YCDT

I drank after 3 weeks. I feel like this is such a small amount of time; I am so weak. The holidays are supposed to be happy, but I have just found myself feeling down and thinking about all of my family members who are old and dying, and how things just went so fast for them.

I probably need medication for anxiety, but I think I cope with alcohol since none of the anxiety meds have worked thus far. My thinking is just warped I guess....

tiredwoman

It's not easy. Anyone who says it is is lying. It's so difficult. I'm only on Day 3 - it's almost 3am here and the reason I am awake is because my body has no wine or weed. It's so tough. However, when I wake up, I will be so grateful I didn't succumb and capitulate to my weakness. I am just so tired of hating myself every single morning.

Keep going, my friend. It's worth it.

Hevyn

Hi YCDT. I used alcohol to cope with anxiety (or so I thought) but it ended up causing me more pain & grief. I get myself very upset thinking negative thoughts too - but numbing ourselves isn't the answer - I did it for decades. I hope you'll give sobriety another try - we're here to help.

YCDT

Still getting the hang of this forum, so sorry if I don't quote correctly. My main reason for quitting (I am a binge drinker [as in, I will drink about 13 drinks in one sitting and black out, then pass out], not an everyday drinker), is because AFTER I drink I have the worst anxiety imaginable. So...basically I drink due to built up anxiety...and then I make it 100X worse by binge drinking, and I usually do this about once a week. Then I panic for like a week straight about all the stupid **** I may have done in my blackout.

So, my progress isnt really that good. 3 weeks is just 3 times not drinking, because I only drink on weekends. And now here I am, thanks to a gift given to me by a colleague who obviously doenst know I am an alcoholic because I try to hide it,..and also I dont really even talk to people because of my anxiety...so how would she know?

YCDT

Also, I absolutely cannot tell my colleagues I am an alcoholic. 100% cannot do that. I also never ever drink on the job, nor during the week for that matter....

Upstairs

Hey there! My problems with anxiety were generally alcohol related. Panic attacks and such. Just the body trying to maintain an equilibrium with all those depressants I was pouring in. Once you stop the drinking, all that anxiety you think is insurmountable will go away. You may still have problems and care about your families problems, but it’ll all be easier to deal with without the alcohol making you all over emotional. Hope that helps!

resolute50

In the end I found that the alcohol was causing more anxiety than curing it.
There's no need to tell anybody, only those you want to know.
And for me, some of the people I have genuine respect or are those that put alcohol down for good and moved on.
And you can do it as well.

ScottFromWI

You don't have to tell anyone, you just need to accept it and take the necessary steps to quit and move forward. Anxiety and alcoholism definitely feed off each other, I was in that exact same endless cycle at one point too. Quitting is tough, but after a while it will allow you to work on the anxiety issue. You may need to seek help for your anxiety too if it's not just a result of your binge/withdraw cycles.

least

Welcome to the family. Getting sober for good is the best thing I've ever done for myself. I hope our support can help you get sober too.

oakleaf82

Quitting drinking has done wonders for my anxiety. Keep trying. It is so worth it.

Anna

There is no need to tell anyone you are an alcoholic, unless you want to. Recovery is a personal journey. Like you, I drank to self-medicate anxiety/depression and I was amazed about how much worse it made my anxiety. I still have to deal with anxiety now, but it's more manageable.

It IS hard to stop drinking and recover, but you can do it.

KG77

Ditto to all the above. Seems like self medication is a common theme. And also the theme of the alcohol making it all worse. I found that the problems i was trying to drink away were still there when the alcohol ran out (damn it!) And then i was piling guilt and shame on top of said problems... rinse and repeat. I am only on day 7 but I feel a lot better. But it IS hard. I am just telling myself every day that for THAT day I will not drink. Congrats on trying to quit alcohol!! It's the hardest thing most of us will ever do!!!

PinnacleOR

I am on medication for depression and anxiety. Ditto that in my personal experience alcohol gives me a few hours of numbness to my anxiety at best, then makes it 50 times worse for days. It’s never different. Medication, meditation, exercise and therapy are all now tools in my toolbox and have helped me tremendously.

Dee74

Getting sober and staying that way is hard - but finding support and using it makes it easier.

I think recovery's a lot easier than a drinking life, to be honest.

Maybe this time around you can focus on building and using a sober support newtwork YCDT?

You'll be better able to evaluate your meds sober too

Make a recovery action plan
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

dcg

In my opinion you're not an alcoholic, but you are one in the making: a problem drinker. Keep on the path you are on, and you'll be having blackouts every day. Cut the **** now.

BTW, I'm in no way marginalizing your situation or your plight - I just think back to 30 years ago, when I was a weekend boozer, and wished I had some foresight. You have that, so follow your convictions - your true convictions, and you can stop yourself from pissing away decades like many of us have - the choice is yours.

PurpleKnight

Alcohol is not he answer, life at this time of the year can be tough, memories of relatives, and a stock taking of our own lives, but alcohol is not the answer, it has never solved anything in my own life, only made things worse, with the extra special bonus price of a hangover the following day.

Give Sobriety a real chance, the benefits will come!!

YCDT

Thanks, I think I have tried, to some extent, by telling my doctor, but they seem reluctant to prescribe me medication. I have been on 2 antidepressants to help with my anxiety and neither worked. (Wellbutrin and Buspar). IDK I feel like antidepressants dont work because I am not depressed; I am scared and anxious. My doctor told me I would have to see a therapist to get any further medication. Problem is, part of my anxiety makes it difficult to see new doctors. But, I think I can get there after some time. Might take me a few months to muster the courage though,....

JustTony

I think this summary is correct. I only post this because I think prescribing yourself a label (that might not apply yet) will not be helping your anxiety.

However - blackouts are REALLY serious and you obviously are not someone that should drink at all if you don't have a stop button after you take that fist sip.

Regards,

JT

Delilah1

Hello,

Glad you came here and posted tonight. Three weeks is a good start, you were one week away from a full month sober. Just think, by the new year you can have over a week sober if you start now.

I am another one who used to drink to help with my anxiety, however, alcohol only made my anxiety worse. The next morning whatever I was anxious about was still there, and having drank made my body feel even worse while trying to deal with it.

This is a great site to uses as part of you r recovery plan, if you feel like drinking log on here first, someone will be here to help talk you out of it. You can do this!

Dee74

Keep in mind if you were drinking when you were on these meds you may not be really able to make a reasoned evaluation of their effectiveness. ...

they may work differently in an abstinent you.

D