tiredwoman

I'm at home for the holidays. On Christmas break from university. And despite my schedule having been rearranged due to not having classes, my body clock has remained the same. And on Fridays, that body clock dictates that I absolutely get wasted.

Being home, I can't drink in the manner I do on campus. My parents have no problem with my twin brother and I drinking at home (we're 21) - however, they would have a problem if they knew how much I drink when I'm away. My brother drinks in strict moderation - he'll have two glasses of wine today and can go an entire 4 months without having another drink. Really envy him.

Today is a hard day for me, not just because of the inherent connotations of a Friday night, but also because of it's my friend's birthday party today. I am gonna call her today and let her know I can't make it because there is no way I trust myself to be around such an environment. There will be lots of alcohol.

And the bad thing about staying at home is that my parents will be watching the football game tonight and my dad will probably have a couple of beers and my mum some wine. So there is also temptation at home, too.

Today is gonna take so much self-control and discipline - I'm on Day 2. I want tomorrow to be my Day 3.

Dee74

I drank on Fridays for decades. But I stopped in 2007.
This place had a lot to do with that.

You can start a new Friday tradition Tiredwoman - we believe in you

good call on the party too
D

Magpie82

You can do it tired! Just remember how you felt yesterday morning. No one deserves to feel that terrible. I’m trying right along with ya. We can do it. Let’s remember that light inside ourselves, under all of the darkness caused by alcohol.

tiredwoman

Oh goodness, Magpie82, yesterday was hell. Really was. Probably the worst hangover I have ever had. But in a sense, I think that it was good such a thing happened. Yesterday, had I not felt the way I did, I wouldn't have signed up on this site. But yesterday was kind of a wake up call - one that told me I'm not invincible and that if I keep doing this, I will completely and utterly destroy myself.

Thank you for your support. Wishing you a sober day

Gilmer

I’m glad too that you’re not going to the party. That’s wise. Maybe you could read in your room while the football game is going on.

tiredwoman

I think I'll do some writing tonight. I like writing short stories. And the good thing about it is that when I am immersed in the story, I'm in my own little world and nothing else matters. Plus when you are writing and are immersed, time goes by very fast. Before you know it is Saturday and you're on Day 3.

Gonna make sure I have some chocolate bars and some non-alcoholic beverages to help with the cravings.

DontRemember

I've found, after some sober time, that I spend about 1/3 the energy not drinking than I did drinking. Take the party you're very wisely choosing not to attend for example.. 3-5min phone call and done. If you went to the party 2-4 days of feeling like crap and hating yourself. I think the AV 'complicates/magnifies' not drinking into some HUGE ordeal,but it's really not. It's way easier/less stressful to not drink than to drink and be 'OK'. "nosce Te Ipsum"

SnazzyDresser

Good going, tiredwoman. You can do it, keep adding days to that sober streak. We all have a lot more strength than we even realize.

D122y

Tired,

We had an office xmas party and it was interesting watching the drunks wait to eat so they could get drunk first.

Then they get that drunk smirk and proceed to act like super confident witty people. They looked drunk and loud to me. Then they eat and get sleepy looking.

Once I got over the physical addiction the mental suffering magnafied. But, feeling like a normal, as designed, person is something I will never give away again.

I have unlearned drinking.

Thanks.

Flower714

I have a party tomorrow I have to go to. It's my boyfriend's friends. We've already had issues with me getting embarrassingly drunk at events or just getting mean to my boyfriend. So I know it would be smart not to go.. but I feel I have to, to redeem myself. He thinks I don't like his friends and they're a huge part of his life. I can't avoid his friends forever...
I am going to ask for my boyfriend's help beforehand. I find that makes it easier. Telling people. Having a plan..bring club soda.
Let us know how your evening goes. You can do it.

tiredwoman

So much logic in this post! So much. What you write is completely true. I called my friend earlier and explained. She understood so it's cool.

Hawkeye13

You're doing great--each day you string together makes it easier.
There are moments of craving, but they get weaker and less urgent.

You are very smart to be dealing with this now, especially if you
have had blackout issues in the past. That's serious and dangerous.

While you're writing, make yourself a list of dreams and interests you
can fill the huge amount of "free time" you will have now since you've quit.

You will be amazed at how much time you have to do things you've always wanted,
like maybe playing guitar, making jewelry, painting, hiking, etc.
What do you want to do that you've never had "time" or energy for?

hpdw

I hope you can treat Friday as any other day ,easier said than done .
For years Friday was exiting and fun until Thursday became my new Friday and the fun started becoming less and less . As time went on I didn't care what day it was and by then the fun had disappeared and all that was left was misery chaos and sickness , I could never find that fun no matter how much I drank or on what day .

I love Fridays now and every other day sober .

PalmerSage

I really admire you for taking action when you are so young. I am more than twice your age, and sometimes think about how my life may had turned out differently if I had never picked up a drink in the first place. We are here for you. Stay strong, friend.

tiredwoman

Yes the blackouts were scary. Wednesday night I have no idea how I drove home. Really not on.

As for what I would like to do with the time that will open up due to my sobriety - always wanted to write a novel, plus I enjoy things like swimming, singing, traveling, general working out and teaching English to kids on a voluntary basis. All hobbies which have been affected by my desire for booze. Alcohol always comes first with me.

tiredwoman

Really wish you well with the party. Please do ask your partner to help. One man cannot win a war on his own and I truly believe getting sober is near impossible without support around you.

tiredwoman

Thank you so much

Ariesagain

I see so much good in you...you’re smart, intuitive, creative, kind...I just wish I had figured out at your age how much alcohol was warping my life.

The world needs young people like you more than ever.

Be your best you, yes?

Anna

Preparing yourself for upcoming situations, as you're doing, is a great tool.

Congratulations on Day 2!

Magpie82

I believe in you tired. Stay the course!