Countrylife

So today is Thursday aka thirsty Thursday is what people around here call it everyone meets up at the bar have some drinks and hangout I told my friends I wasn’t goin i decided to get sober they thought I was joking after finally getting it into there head they got really rude with me saying they think I’m better then them now and it’s point less to stop cause they know it won’t work kind of bringing me down we been good friends for many years I should also add couple weekends ago they gave me a mix drink saying it was alcohol free which it wasn’t cause I told them I wasn’t in the mood to drink they thought they needed to put alcohol in it to try and cheer me up which lead to a binge why do others try to bring you down and want you to suffer with them

tiredwoman

I know it's not easy, but I think you should attempt to distance yourself from these so called "friends." I am on Day 1 and attempting to be real serious about getting sober - there are friends in my social circles who party and drink a lot. I have conceded it's best to distance myself from them. Will I catch flak for it? Maybe. But I'd rather catch flak for it as opposed to killing myself slowly with brandy or wine.

I know it's not easy, but your own health, it's best to do so. The fact that they spiked your drink with booze is so egregious. Really. What kind of friends do that to someone who is attempting to quit?

DontRemember

The ol "misery loves company". My exAgf said I thought I was better than her when I started working on my sobriety and I did eventually ended our relationship. I never thought that at all. I just didn't want to continue to hang around bars with her getting blackout drunk,while saying she wanted to get sober, and me not drinking. I didn't care that she drinks,but the excess was out of control as was her behavior. I also lost some 'friends' as well,but who knew that they were only drinking buddies since that's the only thing we did together? Drunk me didn't realize that..Sober me saw it after a month.

ScottFromWI

One of the hardest things we need to do when we get sober is change our lifestyles, and sometimes the people we hang around with. I found that many of my "friends" were really just drinking buddies - once the alcohol was out of the equation I had nothing in common with them anyway.

As you find new activities and places to go, you will meet new people who don't place a high priority on drinking alcohol. You will also find out that while it seems like "Everyone drinks", we really just gravitate towards drinkers as drinkers. Most people go about their day drinking little or nothing.

Anna

So, one of the benefits of recovery is that you can see who you real friends are...and those who are not.

Friends support you and encourage you to be your best.

I know it's a hard part of recovery, but making lifestyle changes is usually necessary.

Dee74

HI countrylife
I had a lot of that nonsense too - so, I made new friends and reconnected with old on es - ones who supported me in my decision to quit drinking.

The friendship bonds I have now are not about a shared love of drinking, y'know?

D

Countrylife

Congrats on your day 1 hopefully you can add plenty more days to that it sucks when all your friends still party and drink but I’m definitely going to distance myself from them

Berrybean

Sounds like drinking companions rather than friends. It takes a while to sort one from the other I found.

Someone said to me that alcoholics are like crabs in a basket. As one starts escaping the others all try to claw it back in. That image kinda helped me take it a bit less personally. Its not a personal vendetta, just alcoholics doing what alcoholics do.

You know you don't think you're 'better than them', and so to they really, They're just trying to find the ***** in your armour. Maybe next Thursday head to an AA meeting or similar to break that routine and habit and find some sober company.

BB

Berrybean

Having a little chuckle at the forums editing out of the word I used because of the more modern meaning of it. Haha, I'm so 18th century.

Obviously I meant the word as in meaning a small gap, not the racist term.

Goodness me.

Arpeggioh

That made me laugh, as well...off topic, I know...sorry...carry on...

DreamCatcher17

They are intimidated of you. In my opinion if course.
I've ran into a case where my using friends don't call,lol or text anymore. It's peaceful and I love it.
I don't have time for them as they still actively use, 1 at least, wanted to quit but she won't so because I can change and she can't, she feels a certain way, which is on her and too bad.

Linners820

In my experience, when others are too concerned with the lack of my drinking, it's because they have an issue of their own. Just do you.

EliL

I have friends who i have drunk with for quite a time now, they still drink and are happy drinking. I would never have known some of these friends without drinking as that is what we did together. It is highly unlikely that these drinking friends are going to be happy with me coming to the pub or club with them with me sipping a soda, nor will i feel happy about doing that with them either. Thats just the way it is if i want to change my lifestyle, gonna have to accept that some friends will fall by the wayside and that for me is just life.

Thinking about it I'm a member of a golf club and me not drinking and hanging out with drinking friends would be like me not playing golf but still being a member of the golf club it would be tolerated by some i guess, bit weird though that i would go there and not play golf?

Canuckleman45

I did a quick favour for a customer at my work on the 21st of December. After it was done he told me and my boss to come over to his shop, which is next door for a couple xmas rums and egg nog. Last xmas I would've been all in. this year I politely declined and said "no thanks, I'm trying to not drink anymore". Well my boss figured I was screwing around and being rude, the customer didn't really say much. My boss for the record is a drunk, and a bad bad one to boot.

DontRemember

I'm a boss and a drunk.. I've left my 'guys' to drink with the client if they choose to,but I leave. I have lost some clients because of this. They go with my old employee that drank with them,but neither are my problem.

Nowsthetime

Drop the dead weight!

They bring nothing good to your life if they don’t support your decision to be healthy!!!

Gabe1980

I've got a lot of family members who have been less than supportive about my choice to stay sober at family events. Then......I watched them all properly, for the first time, as a sober person. They are all chronic binge drinkers and don't know how to socialise sober. They don't like any implication that this may not be right. I just decided that they can all get stuffed!! Stick to your guns and they will accept it or they will leave you alone. Good luck! Gabe x