Retaining Atty. on Wednesday
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
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Retaining Atty. on Wednesday
Well, less than 24 hours to go on getting the process started. Many times over the past several weeks I thought about delaying this, and just about every time I thought about it, she did something to reinforce my decision to go through with it.
She snapped at me in front of DS7 this weekend because I was washing my car, and she couldn't pull into the garage! Totally senseless, and I could tell he felt bad. We took the dog for a walk and I told him that everyone disagrees with others, and it's how you handle it that counts. I told him that NONE of it was/is his fault, and that he shouldn't take it upon himself to try to fix something that is not his. Luckily, I stayed calm in my interaction with her, and told DS that altho people disagree, it's how you handle it that shows the kind of person you are. I think he got it. He just turned around and gave me a hug.
I told my boss this morning, and she is cool with any time I need off or anything else I need. Her son is an A, so she understands my situation.
I still really don't want to do this, but I know it's for the right reasons. I also talked to DS's school counselor last week.
I know you guys are behind me 100% - ad that means a lot. I wouldn't be this far without this awesome group!
COD
She snapped at me in front of DS7 this weekend because I was washing my car, and she couldn't pull into the garage! Totally senseless, and I could tell he felt bad. We took the dog for a walk and I told him that everyone disagrees with others, and it's how you handle it that counts. I told him that NONE of it was/is his fault, and that he shouldn't take it upon himself to try to fix something that is not his. Luckily, I stayed calm in my interaction with her, and told DS that altho people disagree, it's how you handle it that shows the kind of person you are. I think he got it. He just turned around and gave me a hug.
I told my boss this morning, and she is cool with any time I need off or anything else I need. Her son is an A, so she understands my situation.
I still really don't want to do this, but I know it's for the right reasons. I also talked to DS's school counselor last week.
I know you guys are behind me 100% - ad that means a lot. I wouldn't be this far without this awesome group!
COD
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 284
I really loved hearing how you handled that situation with your son. I think his hug to you says it all.
Getting divorced is the worst, and never what anyone imagines for themselves, obviously. You're doing it for the right reasons and it takes a lot of courage.
Sending you positive thoughts and prayers!
Getting divorced is the worst, and never what anyone imagines for themselves, obviously. You're doing it for the right reasons and it takes a lot of courage.
Sending you positive thoughts and prayers!
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
It sucks to be pushed into a corner by the person we love,but one can only handle being pushed so far. Sorry your son had to witness that. It brought back memories of my ex's behavior,over the pettiest things, in front of our kids when they were growing up together. Her behavior and actions only got worse year after year..month after month..weekly.. day after day...hourly. I'm still not 'over it', but I'm getting on with my life. A couple years ago I'd have been drinking myself blind the past few months and not accepting it for what it is.. Over. Hang in there man. You're doing the only and right thing.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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You may be surprised at how unsurpised and ultimately relieved your son will be. He sounds like a bright, empathetic and sensitive child...they know. They always know.
It will be a rough few months...hang on tight. There are better days ahead.
Wishing you a peaceful and positive 2018.
It will be a rough few months...hang on tight. There are better days ahead.
Wishing you a peaceful and positive 2018.
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 89
I’m happy to hear that you are taking the next step. It’s never easy and you will second guess yourself at times. Maybe this will be the wake up call she needs.
I also think you handled the situation perfectly. I’ll remember that for the next time.
I also think you handled the situation perfectly. I’ll remember that for the next time.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Good luck today.
I admire and applaud that open, honest communication with DS....that is such an amazing blessing for him to have a sober, calm, rational adult...you may not always be right, or perfect, but you have shown him that you are available to discuss anything.
When parents and adults hide things and don't talk about the elephant in the room it sends a powerful message that what is happening is so shameful it can't be talked about, and we children of As take that shame in so deeply and it is so wounding, and hard to shake as we grow.
What you're doing is very difficult but so worth it.
Peace,
B
I admire and applaud that open, honest communication with DS....that is such an amazing blessing for him to have a sober, calm, rational adult...you may not always be right, or perfect, but you have shown him that you are available to discuss anything.
When parents and adults hide things and don't talk about the elephant in the room it sends a powerful message that what is happening is so shameful it can't be talked about, and we children of As take that shame in so deeply and it is so wounding, and hard to shake as we grow.
What you're doing is very difficult but so worth it.
Peace,
B
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII 
i think we should fire up the Codie Bus and road trip with COD to the attorney's office today! 
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Originally Posted by dandylion
COD....I think you will be surprised that it won't be as bad as you anticipate....
I'm a mess!!!!
COD
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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COD...your son is probably going to take this much better than you are...lol....
He will take his cues from you......
You are the Captain of his ship....so, if you come across as steady and calm, and, confident.....he will take his security from that.....
You are NOT destroying his life! Staying in that same situation, though, would be another story.....
He will take his cues from you......
You are the Captain of his ship....so, if you come across as steady and calm, and, confident.....he will take his security from that.....
You are NOT destroying his life! Staying in that same situation, though, would be another story.....
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
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It's going to be OK Dad, you're doing the right thing for the right reasons. It's just not easy ~ not at all.
Do you do any deep breathing, meditation or relaxation techniques at all that you can use to help keep yourself focused & calm this morning?
Do you do any deep breathing, meditation or relaxation techniques at all that you can use to help keep yourself focused & calm this morning?
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Originally Posted by FireSprite
Do you do any deep breathing, meditation or relaxation techniques at all that you can use to help keep yourself focused & calm this morning?
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Well, if you have time for a definitely-inappropriate meditative laugh:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okwRxRQEglI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okwRxRQEglI
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
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Originally Posted by FireSprite
Well, if you have time for a definitely-inappropriate meditative laugh:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okwRxRQEglI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okwRxRQEglI
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