Hello, I'm Shay.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 6
Hello, I'm Shay.
Hello, I'm Shay. I'm new, obviously. I'm currently addicted to alcohol, Xanax, and I enjoy (I guess ) marijuana. I once read here about being an "IV drunk". I'm that person too.
Hello, I'm Shay. I'm 32. I've been drinking whiskey about 10 years. I currently drink a 5th over a 24 hour period...honestly, slightly more. I've had three breaks in the cycle. However, I call them chances. I refer to them as "the ones that got away". I cant tell you much about the Xanax, because I've lost count. I know I buy at least 60 bars each month. I know I am scared to death when I see that bottle empty to 10 or so pills left.
Hello, I'm Shay. I need help. One rehab stunt, one hospital 7th heaven floor extended stay... due to a suicide attempt and blowing a .356, one pregnancy that oddly was the ONLY time I gave it all up cold turkey and felt alive again.
Hello, I'm Shay. I'm painfully and chronically ill with MCTD & fibromyalgia. My 30s were to be my best years. I was diagnosed at 29. My health, career, and future were ripped away. As mentioned, I had stopped drinking because I was pregnant. I went back to school for health and physical science, I was training for my first bodybuilding competition, I was starting to thrive as a personal trainer. I found my passion. That is all gone now. Whatever pain I must be masking, that passion concealed it. I am now utterly devastated and lost. First world problems...as they say.
Hello, I'm Shay. It's 4 am. I'm about a 5th and a half in plus pills. I can still type this. You'd never know I was completely inebriated. You'd never know I havent slept in days. You'd never know I don't want to live anymore. I'm here though. I joined! I don't do this type of thing. I guess, like lifting weights, I'm feeling a release.
Hello, I'm Shay.
I appreciate the outlet. I understand the struggle. I'm so sorry that I've become this monster, and I'm so sorry that anyone else here would have to carry this burden. The liquor can get so heavy. It must be the changing of the bottle size.
Thank you,
SHAY
Hello, I'm Shay. I'm 32. I've been drinking whiskey about 10 years. I currently drink a 5th over a 24 hour period...honestly, slightly more. I've had three breaks in the cycle. However, I call them chances. I refer to them as "the ones that got away". I cant tell you much about the Xanax, because I've lost count. I know I buy at least 60 bars each month. I know I am scared to death when I see that bottle empty to 10 or so pills left.
Hello, I'm Shay. I need help. One rehab stunt, one hospital 7th heaven floor extended stay... due to a suicide attempt and blowing a .356, one pregnancy that oddly was the ONLY time I gave it all up cold turkey and felt alive again.
Hello, I'm Shay. I'm painfully and chronically ill with MCTD & fibromyalgia. My 30s were to be my best years. I was diagnosed at 29. My health, career, and future were ripped away. As mentioned, I had stopped drinking because I was pregnant. I went back to school for health and physical science, I was training for my first bodybuilding competition, I was starting to thrive as a personal trainer. I found my passion. That is all gone now. Whatever pain I must be masking, that passion concealed it. I am now utterly devastated and lost. First world problems...as they say.
Hello, I'm Shay. It's 4 am. I'm about a 5th and a half in plus pills. I can still type this. You'd never know I was completely inebriated. You'd never know I havent slept in days. You'd never know I don't want to live anymore. I'm here though. I joined! I don't do this type of thing. I guess, like lifting weights, I'm feeling a release.
Hello, I'm Shay.
I appreciate the outlet. I understand the struggle. I'm so sorry that I've become this monster, and I'm so sorry that anyone else here would have to carry this burden. The liquor can get so heavy. It must be the changing of the bottle size.
Thank you,
SHAY
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,618
Even through the haze of all those substances, which I'm not going to state the obvious and tell you how dangerous they are especially mixed - even through all that, you DO want to survive 
You've searched and signed up to SR and it's the best thing you could have done - well done.
I don't really have any experience of anything other than alcohol, to relate, but I'm sure others will and you'll find this a very warm and friendly forum
Again,
You've searched and signed up to SR and it's the best thing you could have done - well done.I don't really have any experience of anything other than alcohol, to relate, but I'm sure others will and you'll find this a very warm and friendly forum
Again,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Zanna 
Even through the haze of all those substances, which I'm not going to state the obvious and tell you how dangerous they are especially mixed - even through all that, you DO want to survive You've searched and signed up to SR and it's the best thing you could have done - well done.
I don't really have any experience of anything other than alcohol, to relate, but I'm sure others will and you'll find this a very warm and friendly forum
Again,
You've searched and signed up to SR and it's the best thing you could have done - well done.I don't really have any experience of anything other than alcohol, to relate, but I'm sure others will and you'll find this a very warm and friendly forum
Again,
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,618
I know sweetheart, you will be. Things will get better from now on, keep signing in and reading/posting
If I had a magic wand, I'd wave it for you, but it's all down to you and I just know you can do it
If I had a magic wand, I'd wave it for you, but it's all down to you and I just know you can do it
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 591
Hi Shay! You just took the first step toward finding yourself again. Welcome, and stay close here. There are so many people here that will support you and have been through the same thing. I’m sure you know it’s not going to be easy but you are so worth it and now is the time before it’s too late. You know how great you felt, now it’s time to get that back! YOU CAN DO THIS SHAY!!💜
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,357
Hi and welcome Shay
I really believe its never too late for a new start - no matter how deep the hole it is we've dug. You just gotta start climbing
I think you'll find a lot of friends here and a lot of support.
D
I really believe its never too late for a new start - no matter how deep the hole it is we've dug. You just gotta start climbing
I think you'll find a lot of friends here and a lot of support.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Hi Shay. Stating the obvious here. You are a mess. But you are here and that's the first step. I do understand your multiple substance use issues. Been there and then some. In my old world alcohol, pot and benzos were a starter kit. Add coke and Quaaludes to the mix if you want to know where I played. Amazing I'm not dead.
I'm the resident Grinch/Scrooge compared to other folks here and I don't spout all of the positive kindness that many will here. Since I did not reply to spout hopeful kindness perhaps you wonder why I replied at all. Here's why. I have a constructive point here for you and I hope you find it helpful. Given the amount of alcohol you have constantly poured into your body over the last decade, the diagnosis of MCTD & fibromyalgia could be wrong. Alcohol is an incredibly damaging drug. It makes getting a correct diagnosis of these type of diseases very difficult. Without booze poisoning your body you might find that your symptoms diminish or even go away. It could take some time to see the results so don't expect great results at first. You still have a chance for a better life than you think possible but only if you stop poisoning yourself with alcohol and drugs. Why do I believe this is possible for you? Personal experience! The days of needing four Advil to get out of bed in the morning are history.
I do hope you grab on to the lifeline SR provides and pull with all your might to get out of your hole. Welcome and Bah humbug!
I'm the resident Grinch/Scrooge compared to other folks here and I don't spout all of the positive kindness that many will here. Since I did not reply to spout hopeful kindness perhaps you wonder why I replied at all. Here's why. I have a constructive point here for you and I hope you find it helpful. Given the amount of alcohol you have constantly poured into your body over the last decade, the diagnosis of MCTD & fibromyalgia could be wrong. Alcohol is an incredibly damaging drug. It makes getting a correct diagnosis of these type of diseases very difficult. Without booze poisoning your body you might find that your symptoms diminish or even go away. It could take some time to see the results so don't expect great results at first. You still have a chance for a better life than you think possible but only if you stop poisoning yourself with alcohol and drugs. Why do I believe this is possible for you? Personal experience! The days of needing four Advil to get out of bed in the morning are history.
I do hope you grab on to the lifeline SR provides and pull with all your might to get out of your hole. Welcome and Bah humbug!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Hello and welcome Shay. We are so glad you are here. Posting here was an amazing first step toward a new healthier life you can create for yourself. It's clear you know you need to make some changes, and you can do it. Please keep posting. Tomorrow can be a better day.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,698
Keep trying. There is always hope but, you just can't see it now. Don't leave us because we will stand by you no matter what is happening. We need to know how you are doing so we can listen. You will have a break-through when it's time. Give yourself a fighting chance.♡CR
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 6
You're all so nice here. You're strong too. I swear I'm trying, but I'm so sick. I have a business and two kids. I can't leave it all again. How do you wean off this ****? I'm trying. I didn't get the correct recipe.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,618
Hi again Shay - you honestly CAN do this. What do you think would help - Doctor's visit? Rehab?
You are just as strong as anyone else, you found this place and posted - it's in you, just needs tweaking a little
At the very least, stay with us and keep posting love.
You are just as strong as anyone else, you found this place and posted - it's in you, just needs tweaking a little
At the very least, stay with us and keep posting love.
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