2muchpain

Imagine being stranded on an island. You have a cell phone that connects you to a few people but have no way to really have any real physical contact with them. It's all pretty much there but not there. Just imagine that you have an endless supply of liquor on this island. Would you drink?
Please don't tell me that people create their own islands. Some people do, but for others, it's not the case. People live on their islands for many reasons. Sometimes, alcohol is their only real friend. Just is. John

entropy1964

Hmmmm. Okay. Obviously hypothetical and you don't want me to get all escoteric about how I create my 'deserted island of the soul' when I drink. Ok. But why the cell service? I mean, I'd be calling someone and saying 'so gps this shlit and helicopter me outta here'. Or maybe I'd say ' but wait 2 days while I get loaded and catch up on my tan'. Possible. As long As there's water and ibuprofen.and no big ole insects, or tropical storms, nah, I think I'd call one of those people and tell them to alert the coast guard.

My hypothetical scenario of choice is : if I knew, without a doubt, that a meteor was headed to the planet earth and we were talking total extinction in 2 days, would I drink? And no is not the very first thought. I would need to comfort my daughter. So I guess it's no.

Ca-fricken-razy alcoholic thinking. Am I right? Actually floors me sometimes how nuts my thinking is.

JustTony

We’re not on a desert island and a meteor is not going to wipe out the planet in two days either.

We’re here. In this life. On this Earth.

No disrespect but how can these kind of hypothetical scenarios do anything other than bring the thought of drinking to the forefront of ones mind?

Not healthy.

ScottFromWI

Agree with the others John....creating hypothetical reasons/excuses to drink is addiction/AV talk pure and simple. There is no good reason to drink, period. I know you are feeling down, but there's a whole community of people who care about you here on SR, and a lot of them are alone locally just like you.

Dee74

I lived on my hypothetical island for years and drank...and then I didn't.
Same island, different me

I can't accept any premise were alcohol is the solution or the panacea to any problem because it's not, John.

It never is.

I have a great life now. Materially not much has changed but I have.

I used to focus on what I'd lost and how painful I found life. Now I see the beauty around me and the great gift I have to be alive and in reasonable health.

Have you considered counselling John?

You seem to be stuck in a very negative place sometimes and whats worse is you seem resigned to that?

D

2muchpain

Had a lot of counseling in the past and has helped me lot to get to where I am but don't see a point at my age to continue that. Been there and done that. Pretty resigned to dying younger than I should. Don't see a reason to not to. Doesn't see a reason to see things differently. I'v e had a great life. Couldn't ask for more. No pitty here. I feel joyous and free as they say in AA. Just ready to go when it's time. No big deal, John

SoberLeigh

John, are you saying that you foresee an early desth from alcoholism? I hope not.

Have you ever watched someone die from liver failure? I have watched two - one from cancerous liver failure and one from alcoholic liver failure. They were both hideous deaths.

Choose sobriety and a continuation of your admittedly good life.

We care about you.

Dee74

To me there seems to be a lot of reasons in this paragraph to go back to counselling John.

I can't force you though, any more than I can get you to go back to your Dr get stuck into some volunteering, or buy that dog.

I do hope someday somehow you discover the essential truth here - you're worth the effort

D

Zanna

At your age? Hey, my 85 year old neighbour is still driving! Age is a number and I agree you do sound very 'down'.
You are worth a LOT more than you are giving yourself credit for.

JustTony

Hi John,

Who am I to doubt your veracity but I feel obliged to ask this question (forgive me?)

If it is all such a fait accompli; you've had a great life and you actively welcome the embrace of the Grim Reaper, then why are you here?

You see - I hope/think that you do want to live a better and happier life - but you're just not sure how to get there?

I could be wrong - I hope not?

Regards,

JT

entropy1964

Hey 2much

I get the whole 'what if' thinking. I guess in my post I was trying to say a couple of things. One, you're aren't alone in that 'kind' of thinking. I'm always kind of amazed at some of the really bizarre (and kinda shameful) ways my alcoholic side will suggest I drink. I've learned that this thinking, while unhealthy for sure, is kinda normal for me. I don't push it away, shame it (by saying I 'shouldn't' be thinking it) or get frightened by it. But I can't listen to it. I observe it, recognize it for what it is and tell it in no uncertain terms that I (my higher self, the one that is posting here, you have one too) am not going to drink, no matter what.

Today is the great equalizer. Its all any of us have. Yesterday is over, gone, doesn't exist (only in our minds) and tomorrow is also not a reality. I have learned that just because I am thinking or feeling something does not make it fact. It 'feels' real, but it might not be factual, or accurate. My feelings aren't fact. Who knew? So, sometimes life is hard and it hurts. But its an amazing thing....all things change and pass. Good and bad. But I do not need to drink.

For me to expect I will never ponder drinking...or even come up with really weird scenarios in which I somehow feel drinking is justified is not reality. Its what I do with those thoughts. I used to think, ok, I'm in recovery, I will never think of drinking again and if I do I'm a failure. So. not. true.