hollowx

I feel like my life is like dominoes, no matter how hard I try and keep my hand still it shakes with the tension and I have to pick up all these pieces, every time they hit the floor it seems like they shatter into a million more problems. I don't know how to fix this, and time just keeps passing me by. I look to the fantasy I've built, my box away from it all, the void in space that is my own, I can't seem to find anything that fits. So many times I've just imagined climbing the tallest building, my note in hand as the ground catches my breath, I exhale and I feel a certain calming finality in it all. I don't want to suffer, but I just can't stop making these bad decisions. How can you convince a puppet to live, when the strings cannot be found. A cut in darkness, a pointless existence...I just don't know...

MyLittleHorsie

Omg no words, just huge cyber hugs.

Dee74

Hi Jon

if you'll feeling like you might hurt yourself I think thats the priority to deal with here. There are crisis numbers to call and things to read here:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html

the bottom line is that booze or drugs magnify our despair rather than help us deal with it.

Are you still going to AA Jon?

D

hollowx

Hi Dee,
I need to go back to AA, I'm going to try this week to get a better handle on this...

Dee74

We're all with you Jon

D

FreeOwl

I felt a lot of those things when I was still drinking.

They’re gone now.

You can be free too.

AA really helped me in my choice to be sober.

You can.